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This book is ©annehill 2015.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014:
Yesterday (on Tuesday, January 28th, 2014) I saw Mötley Crüe walk into their "Press Conference" at the "Roosevelt Hotel" and I saw them play on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” But I don’t want to write about that right now, I’ll write about that later. Right now I want to take some time to write about how kinky I am and how open-minded I can be when it comes to sex (with Nikki Sixx, of coarse duh). I have been fantasizing lately about having sex in a chair. Nikki is in a wooden chair with his legs spread wide open. I’m sitting on his lap with my legs wide open also. He is having sex with me and I’m tied to him on the chair with rope. That is my current sex fantasy and it’s getting good. I apologize to you if you have reading this book and not liking what you here. This book is very open and honest and there are a lot of sexual references here. 4) Do you moan? Oh yeah, I would moan having sex with Nikki. I would just love to scream the fucking roof off to be honest with you! And if you don’t like it I can shut up. 4) What is a secret fantasy that you have that you hardly talk about? Yeah, I heard Nikki Sixx likes pissing. I wish I could be near him when he whips it out because, I want to see it BAD. And I’ve already seen his puppet on the Internet so many times!
Honestly, I don’t know what I’m more bummed out about right now. Nikki Sixx’s wedding in March of this year or Mötley Crüe breaking up. If I think about both things, they will fucking bum me out. I told you, I’m IN LOVE with Nikki Sixx and since he is now a “married man;” have been ELIMINATED. I need a more powerful vibrator. I am sick and tired of my weekday morning routine of getting up really early to (you know). As far as pursuing my “sexual toy list” goes, it’s last priority because money is VERY tight. I need to worry about getting tickets for the final tour too. You know I was just thinking this is something that I have that Courtney doesn’t have; I like heavy metal. I don’t know if she likes heavy metal? I don’t think she does. If she does, then great.
I feel that I need to share this, another thing that really gets me personally about Nikki is that he wrote pretty much all those fantastic songs for his band, Mötley Crüe. The fact that he wrote “Kickstart my Heart” and that it was about him, and that it is one of the greatest rock songs of all time. I think that’s something really beautiful about him that he has written songs like that. And he wrote “Home Sweet Home”, that really makes me have feelings for him. I just think overall that he’s a really great person. He amazes me so.
So I heard Nikki Sixx is possibly having his honey moon right after his marriage, I’m on the other end here thinking “Damn, I deserve that, not her!” Yeah I get really twisted sometimes! I heard the little spats they get in, I heard she tells him what to do. Baby, come get it while it’s hot because, I would NOT be like that towards you. I would give you the funniest sex life you’ll EVER have! I love Nikki Sixx, and I can say this knowing that I’ve felt this way ever since I first say you. This has been my life’s philosophy, because I began my life with falling in love with you. By seeing your picture, by listening to your music, reading about you, and so on and so on. My life’s dream is to have you tell me, “I love you” back and of coarse to have sex (or make love, as we all know it).
Is having too much in common a bad thing? Damn, I hope not because we do have a lot in common. I know you want that DIVERSITY in your life. I get that. Part of my attraction to you is the fact that I’m short and your tall, and you’re Italian. These are all true factors, that make my attraction to you work. But don’t get me wrong, I also am attracted to your personality very much. Did you know this? I’ll wait 5 more years to have you. I’ll wait 10 years; dammit all I LOVE you baby! As I mentioned, the fact that I am short and that your tall is part of my attraction. What is ironic is that actually I want to be taller. I admit, I also love Nikki Sixx’s hair AND HIS GOATEE. I think the 80’s hair is what was the initial spark. This is a fact, I first saw Nikki Sixx in his “Shout At The Devil” outfit. I like Nikki Sixx’s hair anyway he puts it, I know in the late 90’s he cut it shorter, I know all the different things he has done with his hair. In every way, he always looks fucking handsome. You know I’m unique for a kid, and I’m fucking special in my musical tastes. I’m like a rock ‘n’ roll guy, but I’m crazy over Nikki Sixx. And I am a girl and not a guy. I am a cross between a rock ‘n’ roll kind of man and a woman in love. Isn’t that right?
I’ll be honest with you; my attraction to Nikki Sixx feels more like “animal magnetism” than anything else. My attraction to him is very lustful. There are both physical and mental components to my attraction, making it a very healthy attraction. The only problem I have here is that I CAN’T FUCKING HAVE HIM! I’ve told you before; I love his fucking voice! There is something about his voice; my mind tends to associate with sex, sex, sex. I don’t know why, it’s something my brain does, I guess. Not all the time though, only when he talking about upbeat things. I’m a wild “Crüehead”? I’m more than that baby! I’m going to be the next rockstar and I suck at playing guitar. Well anyhow, I like to be honest, and I don’t mean any harm by this at all. I mean just the opposite, I mean love! Yes, you can call me the female side of Nikki Sixx and I’ll be all right with that. Guess what pal, I KNOW IT. I feel as if my body is pulling me in towards him, but my conscience is resisting because, I know he is in a relationship, he is engaged, and he will be married soon, and so on and on and on and on. And I am aware of my age. YOU KNOW WHAT I DO NOT WANT TO BE JUDGED BY MY AGE. Sorry, I really hate that when people do that kind of shit. I’d rather be judged for my intelligence. It’s like I know it’s wrong to be in love with him. That’s exactly what’s going on. Isn’t it? And you know what? I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM! Seriously, I hope it’s not wrong.
If I had the choice to get any magical powers, I would chose to be able to make myself fly or make myself invisible. You know if I could fly, I would stalk Nikki (and be getting away with it)! Thank god I can’t fly! And If I could make myself invisible, you know I would walk into the men’s bathroom to see Nikki’s thing. Thank god I can’t do that either! Another reason why I would like to fly, is that it would be convenient for certain situations and I could just fly above Nikki’s head if I wanted too. I think that would be so much fun! But you know what I do have? The power of writing, the power of the written word baby! I need another hug from Nikki, I swear, a good fucking hug. I nice squeeze. The first hug, as I stated, was partially sexual. Ha! You know a hug is a hug, and it means all the same thing unless you’re faking it. I love hugs, if I am receiving them from Nikki that is. Mmmm… Yeah, I’ll get another hug, and I’ll get addicted to “Sixx hugs.” And then I’ll crave another hug from him? What the fuck? Another thing is that I realize, I don’t know if this is true, I may be starting to become somewhat of a sex addict. And I have not even had sex yet, at least with a human being, I have not. Actually, you know what I like it. I like being myself and if this what makes me happy; I’m grateful. I’m okay as long as I don’t get dependent on it. Yes, I know I’m a “Nikki Sixx addict.” I knew that A LONG TIME AGO. All I ever think about most of the time is fucking Nikki Sixx really hard. And of coarse I am a nice loving human being too, but you have to realize when we’re honest, you hear that the truth is UGLY. And I do think about Nikki Sixx banging me most of the time. I think about going down on him also most of the time. In regards to penetration and oral sex goes, what’s the big deal? Yes I understand it’s your “private parts” going into my “private parts.” In regards to “STDs,” I guess you just get tested, is that all? Okay, sex may be ALL I think about most of all. I am still a romantic person, I can be really giving, I could write poetry about Nikki, give him the world, save him from disaster, I love Nikki Sixx with all my heart. I hope you fucking realize that. Here’s something else you also may not know about me; I’m actually really sensitive (of coarse baby, I’m a girl). By the way, sometimes, when I do fantasize about sex, I will think about it as affection. If I were to really have sex with Nikki, it would be like affectionate and stuff like that. I mean the sex is usually like a form of love. Love is the opposite of violence; yeah hopefully it is.
Now I’ll start telling my story about my adventure yesterday. When I came home yesterday, I posted this on Twitlonger; “I started off my adventure by waiting for Mötley Crüe to arrive to their press conference this morning. They arrived after a funeral procession band walked down Hollywood Blvd eventually reaching to where we were at. I ate at El Pollo Loco. I went to Rite Aid to but batteries and earplugs (which we would not even use). Then I went to Amobea Music. Then we went to the JKL Live set, saw the line. Then I went to the Pizza Place, Stefano’s. Then my Dad and I went back to see them warm-up. I sat on the ground in my high heels. Got back up again and we walked across the street. I was wearing platform high heels to increase my height, wearing zoomies to see up close; I was standing behind a peakhole with a short man in front of me. Nikki Sixx really put out on that stage. This was so worth it. All the fucking pain the high heels caused my feet and everything. I was moaning “ouch” repeatedly by the time it was over with. All worth it to get a great view of Nikki Sixx playing his bass. My Dad has halfway decent pictures and a video of what we saw. Thank you Nikki Sixx, Vince Neil, Tommy Lee, and Mick Mars for such a fantastic show tonight at JLK Live.” I hope this basically tells you about my adventure. There was nothing like seeing Nikki Sixx shaking his body on that stage. The high heels were that painfully Nikki; I almost ate my own feet! My feet nearly killed me yesterday! You know it was all worth it for me to see you play on that stage. There’s nothing like true love; me walking down the streets in high heels, having to hold onto my Dad’s shoulder for balance, and standing there in pain to view you play. Now I think that’s true love. And today my feet are still not the same. In case nobody read this, I have a special message for Mötley Crüe that I posted on Twitlonger, “Thank you Nikki Sixx, Vince Neil, Tommy Lee, and Mick Mars for such a fantastic show tonight at JLK Live. I wish you guys all the best in your retirement and on your farewell tour.” You know I only wish the best for you guys, you’re my heroes. And another thing is that I grew up listening to your music, when I was younger, you guys must have been the very first rock band I ever heard. I hope Nikki Sixx will read this one-day. I hope he reads just enough, he doesn’t have to read this whole book. I hope Nikki’s friends will tell him about it or something of that nature. Man he better read this, I swear. I love him. I also tweeted this last night; “I was sexually excited by Nikki Sixx earlier today and tonight at the concert.” And this, “One day I have a chance with him cause I love him and he feels that way sort of back, he loves his fans.” And this, “Oh yeah and I’ll never forget when he hugged me. It’s just been about 6 months since we last talked.” And this, “I hope we will like me back when I release my book.” And this, “I admire him, I adore him, I emulate him, I don’t why why either.” And this, “School tomorrow, oh well. I want to see Mötley Crüe ASAP on the Farewell Tour again. I love you Nikki Sixx.” I thought that would be an interesting thing for you to read. I’m not that bad, trust me, I think you already know. I am @annehill310 on Twitter. I also ended up telling two people at school about last night today. I told my former math teacher, Mr. Chuckie and my “study skills teacher,” Mr. Ronald. When I told Mr. Chuckie Mötley Crüe was “retiring and doing their last tour,” he turned around and rubbed his hand in a closed fist by his eye. He was facetiously pretending to cry. I think that bummed him out, he was pretty shocked. I also told him to look it up on “Google.” Mr. Ronald already knew about Mötley Crüe breaking up because, of all the press they have been getting. Don’t forget I listen to all the “Sixx Sense!” I think I’m done writing for today. Oh yeah and I forgot to tell you, I really like Nikki’s different laughs. He drvies me crazy on that Sixx Sense radio show.
No, I am not done writing yet. I just wanted to say, Nikki if you may be shy about having sex with me because, you think you’re too old or you might not satisfy me. Don’t worry about it. I don’t think your like that though. But even if you don’t think you can do me well, you might be surprised. I don’t care if you think your puppet’s size. I’m telling you brother; you’re just fine. I’m writing this just in case.
I had to write an essay for my English final. I have a writing mantra when it comes to “creative stories” on how to write them. You write ugly (inappropriately) and then you make it nice (you make it appropriate) for school. So below I will be displaying 2 versions of this essay. The original “uncensored version” and then the revised “censored version.” When I turned in this essay to my “English teacher,” I turned it in substituting Nikki Sixx’s name for “Frank” (his original name) and I also substituted Mötley Crüe for “Saints of Los Angeles”. I also had to do other minor changes. My Dad told me to cover my tracks so she would never be able to figure out specifically who I was talking. And I aced the thing man. I full credit, 25 points. I turned in the “censored version” to my teacher, with the substituted changes. Instead of “Meeting A Rockstar”, I changed the title to “Meeting Frank.” I won’t be including this version of the essay, I don’t think it will be necessary. The stories are ENTIRELY fictional. And the drug and alcohol references were just included in my “uncensored story” to get the creative juices flowing. I don’t do drugs or alcohol.
My Trip to Hollywood (ORIGINAL UNCENSORED ESSAY)
WARNING – EXPLICIT SEXAUL CONTENT (AND DRUGS)!
“What is a sex fantasy? “A sexual fantasy, also called an erotic fantasy, is a mental image or pattern of thought that stirs a person’s sexuality and can create or enhance sexual arousal.” – Wikipedia. A sex fantasy is basically a “sexual pipe dream” that you have when you think of someone special. And you think of having sex with that person because you love them, and since we’re all animals, we all want to fuck.
It’s November 2014 and I am excited to take a break from school! The first three months of school have completely drained me. I jump into my red Ferrari Testarossa and I speed across the freeway straight to Hollywood. I’m headed to the Sunset Strip, which is Hollywood’s classic rock ‘n’ scene. Hollywood is a vivid city with neon lights, buildings, and clubs. I get off the freeway on the Sunset Strip exit, blasting Mötley Crüe music in my car. I drive through Beverly Hills, eventually reaching the Sunset Strip. I’m here to see Aerosmith play at the House of Blues.
I enter the show to see Aerosmith and I am suddenly surprised when I see my rockstar idol standing next to me, Nikki Sixx from Mötley Crüe. I talk to him during the whole entire show as we enjoy the music. After the show, he takes me to the “Cravings” restaurant for dinner. Nikki Sixx orders a beer and gets a little bit drunk so, I have to drive him to his house in Calabasas in my red Ferrari. As I drive, Nikki smiles at me telling me how much fun he’s had tonight at the concert and at the dinner.
I blast some good “Ozzy’s Boneyard” (Sirius XM Station) on the way to his house in Calabasas. When we park in his garage, he tells me that he’s too drunk to get out of the car. I replied telling him, “But you won’t be staying here alone baby.” There’s no more talking to do, it’s time for me to go in for the gold. I immediately start unbuttoning his pants as he gives me this devious smile. Then to his surprise I start performing oral sex on him. He tells me that he’s having a really great night tonight and he wishes that everyday for the rest of his life can be like this one.
The next day Nikki Sixx has a party and he gets out this stripper pole from his collection. What do you thinks gonna happen now? We’re both gonna get on that stripper pole buck-naked! After about 60 minutes of that “stripping dancing shit,” I take both of Nikki’s legs and put them over my shoulders and I suck his dick like a vacuum cleaner. After he cums, I swallow his semen also. Nikki is a sexy man, he fucked me good and I am so happy he finally broke my virginity.
The next day My Mom is doing an “antique doll show” again in Pasadena. My Dad and I are helping her set up for the doll show. When I come into the doll show to help her set up, I grab a donut from the box that is lying out near the coffee on the table. After 15 minutes passes, my Dad and I leave and start driving to this record store called, “Poo-Bahs.” When you walk into that place they’re burning incense which smells good and it goes with the environment well. All along the walls they have vintage LPs and framed photos of how their store used to look like in the past. Poo-Bahs also has these weird strange sculptures and nicky-knacks all around you, on tables, on ledges, everywhere.
After Poo-Bahs, my Dad and I arrive at the next door Guitar Center and there I see Nikki Sixx in the bass room. I run after him and I start talking to him again. “Hi, Nikki, it’s me again.” “Wow, I never thought I would run into you today, wasn’t it fun at my house yesterday.” And we go on to talk about our lives as usual. Nikki Sixx tells me that he is performing tomorrow at the Whisky A-Go-Go and that he would be happy to take me there so I can see him play with Mötley Crüe. We get all chummy again and I want to go back to his house again. So my Dad tells me to call my Mom on his cell phone asking her if it is okay. I call her leaving a message, but she doesn’t pick up right away because she is busy.
I ask my Dad if Nikki Sixx and I can go for a walk. He says, “Yes, of course, you guys can go for a walk.” So Nikki Sixx and I leave the Guitar Center place and we start walking on the sidewalks by Poo-Bahs and Guitar Center. We didn’t do as nearly as much talking as we did flirting with each other. We found a quiet street corner and we started making out where no one could see us, not even the cars that were driving behind us on the streets. Then we decided that we would come back to Guitar Center to see my Dad again. When we walk into “Guitar Center,” I ask him, “Did she say yes?” My Dad told me, “She doesn’t really feel comfortable with it but, she will let you visit his house again. She feels that you’re an adult now and that you’re old enough to be making your own decisions.”
This time my car was at home, and Nikki Sixx had his car though. So he took me to his home again and he got an erection while behind the wheel and UFO’s “Rock Bottom” was playing his car stereo. Nikki Sixx was also having a nice conversation with me about how we’re going to watch some good porn when he gets home. That really turned me on. That Nikki Sixx always knows just how to do it.
By the time he drove to his house, it was about three o’ clock in the afternoon, getting really late in the day. When I walk in his house he doesn’t hesitate to turn on the porn right away. Then we start getting really busy. We snort lots of that fine Persian cocaine to get yourselves really turned up for the best “sex session” of a lifetime. Nikki Sixx is as high as a kite, and I see that he’s humping the leather couch pillows. I tap him on the back, saying, “Hey my ass is over here.” Then he goes really hardcore “doggy style” on me. I liked it. I squeeze his balls and he starts screaming like a weasel. I handcuff him and he starts freaking out because he thinks he’s gonna go to jail. And when I ride him he gets even higher. His eyeballs look as if they are about ready to explode, like dynamite.
The day after Nikki Sixx and I wake up dazed out of our minds. Nikki tells me, “Girl you really blew my mind last night.” “Same too, you too, you really blew my mind too.” We eat some breakfast and then I watch him masturbate his dick. Later, Nikki Sixx starts practicing and then he takes me with him to Mötley Crüe’s gig at the “Whisky A-Go-Go.” The show started at 8 o’ clock at night and went on until 3 o’ clock in the morning. The crowd was great; Mötley Crüe fans are extremely dedicated to their band.
The day after I call my Dad to bring my car to Nikki’s house because, I’m moving in with him because, we’re gonna have wild crazy sex everyday! I’m his pussycat and his top-notch cat. I really lured him in. We play underneath the moonlight. He would never want my sweet love to stop.”
Meeting A Rockstar (REVISED CENSORED ESSAY)
My fantasy story takes place in an urban setting. I begin the story by getting behind the wheel. This story is entirely fictional. [This is the clean version!]
“It’s November 2014 and I am excited to take a break from school! The first three months of school have completely drained me. I jump into my red Ferrari Testarossa and I speed across the freeway straight to Hollywood. I’m headed to the Sunset Strip, which is Hollywood’s classic rock and roll scene. Hollywood is a vivid city with neon lights, buildings, and clubs. I drive off the freeway on the Sunset Strip exit, blasting Mötley Crüe music in my car. I drive through Beverly Hills, eventually reaching the Sunset Strip. I’m here to see Aerosmith play at the House of Blues.
I enter the show to see Aerosmith and I’m suddenly surprised when I see my rockstar idol standing next to me, Nikki Sixx from Mötley Crüe. I turn around facing him, seeing his beautiful green eyes, his messy black hair, and his black goatee. I talk to him during the whole entire show as we enjoy the music. I say to Nikki, “Hello, are you Nikki Sixx?” Nikki responds to me by exclaiming, “Yes, I am Nikki Sixx. Hello.” I ask Nikki, “How’s life been treating you lately?” He answers me; “Life is delightful. I am very pleased with my Sixx Sense radio show.” “I listen to your radio show every night.” “Thank you, I truly appreciate all my listeners.”
After the show, he takes me to the “Cravings” restaurant for dinner. Nikki orders coffee and I order Coca-Cola. I drive Nikki to his house in Calabasas in my red Ferrari. As I drive, Nikki smiles at me telling me, “I had so much fun tonight at the concert and at the dinner.” I respond back to him with, “I feel good! I’m having fun too, the night is not over yet.”
I blast some good “Ozzy’s Boneyard Musi”c (Sirius XM Station) on the way to his house in Calabasas. When we park in his garage, he tells me that he’s too tired to get out of the car. Nikki tells me, “I’m so tired from the concert that I don’t want to get out of the car.” I hold his hand as he gives me this devious smile. I surprise him with a gold necklace. “Ohh! A Gold necklace, is that for me?” “Yes, this is for you. My Dad gave it to me and told me to give it to someone special when that day comes.” “Thank you, Anne.”
Nikki carries on the conversation by telling me that he’s having a really great night tonight. He wishes that everyday for the rest of his life can be like this. “I’m having a really great night tonight. I wish that everyday for the rest of my life could be like this.” “I am so happy that I found you! Being here with you is wonderful.” “I’m extremely happy that I found you too. You’ve been so nice to me.” “You look content.” “I am content. I’m falling asleep.” Nikki yawns.
The next day Nikki throws a pool party. Nikki and I both have great fun swimming together and half the time all we did was splash each other. We dry off and go in the house, and he shows me some of his skills on the bass guitar in his living room. I cheered him on as he played the “Primal Scream” riffs, which made me feel happy. I screamed out to him, “Woo!” I told him that I think he’s adorable, he thanked me and smiled at me. “I think that you’re adorable.” “Thank you Anne.”
The next day my Mom is doing an “antique doll show” again in Pasadena. My Dad and I are helping her set up for the doll show. When I come into the doll show to help her set up, I grab a donut from the box that is lying out near the coffee on the table. After 15 minutes pass, my Dad and I leave and start driving to this record store called, Poo-Bah.
When I walk in Poo-Bah Records, they are burning incense which smells good and it goes with the environment well. All along the walls they have vintage albums and framed photos of how their store used to look like in the past. Poo-Bah is also decorated with strange sculptures, nicky-knacks, and stickers all around you, on the tables, on the ledges, and everywhere else. Poo-Bah Records is a small building in Pasadena; they sell rare and/or collectable cds and vinyl.
After Poo-Bah Records, my Dad and I arrive at the next door Guitar Center. There I see Nikki Sixx in the bass room. I run after him and I start talking to him again. “Hi, Nikki, it’s me again.” “Wow, I never thought I would run into you today, wasn’t it fun at my house yesterday?” We go on and talk about our lives as usual. Nikki tells me that he’s performing tomorrow at the “Whisky A-Go-Go.” He tells me that he would be happy to take me there so I can see him play with Mötley Crüe.
“I’m performing tomorrow at the “Whisky-A-Go-Go.” I would be more than happy to drive you there so you can see me play onstage with Mötley Crüe.” “Yes! Can you please take me there? I would love to see you play!” Nikki and I get friendly with each other again and I want to go back to his house. My Dad tells me to call my Mom on my cell phone to ask her if it is okay. “Call your Mom on your cell phone to ask her if it okay to go back to Nikki’s house.” I call her leaving a message. She could not pick up the phone right away because, she is busy at the doll show. I ask my Dad, “Can Nikki and I go for a walk?” He says to us, “Yes, of course, you guys can go for a walk.”
Nikki and I leave Guitar Center and we start walking on the sidewalks by Poo-Bah Records and Guitar Center. After a short while, Nikki and I decided that we would come back to Guitar Center to see if my Dad contacted my Mom. I walk into Guitar Center with Nikki and I ask him, “Did she say yes?” My Dad tells me, “She doesn’t really feel comfortable with it but, she will let you visit his house again. She feels that you’re an adult now and that you’re old enough to be making your own decisions.”
I reply to my Dad saying, “Okay, Nikki can take me home now.” Nikki joyfully shouts, “Yes!” This time my car was at home and Nikki is taking me home in his car. He took me to his home again and he started singing to UFO’s “Rock Bottom” which was playing on his car stereo. Nikki was also having a nice conversation with me about how we’re going to watch some good movies when we get home. “I can’t wait to watch some good movies with you. It’ll be intense.” I tell him, “I am so excited right now, I can’t wait to get home and watch those movies!”
By the time he drove to his house, it was about three o’clock in the afternoon, which was really late in the day. When I walk into his house, he does not hesitate to turn on the movie “Horrible Bosses” right away. I sat down with him to watch the movie. He brought me some popcorn and “Dr. Pepper” soda. Nikki was drinking Mountain Dew soda (which has a lot of caffeine) and he started acting super wacky. He jumps on the couch and shouting like an elephant. That made me laugh. I see a look in his eyes, that he is ready to explode like dynamite. Then I start acting like him and suddenly we hear the doorbell ring “Ding-Dong”, which scared us! Nikki opens the door only to see the pizza delivery guy. He was at the wrong address because, nobody ordered pizza. Nikki just took the pizza box right out of his hands anyway and he cried out, “Pizza!”
The next morning Nikki and I eat some breakfast and listen to Black Sabbath on his stereo. After three o’clock in the afternoon, Nikki is practicing for his show that he will be playing at. At six o’clock, he drives me to Mötley Crüe’s gig at the “Whisky A-Go-Go.” I’m backstage waiting for the band to go on, and then I will be able to blend in with the audience to watch him play onstage. The show started at eight o’clock at night and went on to three o’clock in the morning. The crowd was great. Mötley Crüe fans are extremely dedicated to their band.
The day after I call my Dad to bring my car to Nikki’s house because, I’m moving in with him. “Dad you need to drive my Ferrari Testarossa to Nikki’s house because, I’m moving in with him” “You’re moving in with him? Wow!” “I know, it will be fabulous! I just need to have my car back.”
Nikki told me he finds it enjoyable to spend time with me and that I am just marvelous. “I really find it enjoyable spending time with you. I think you’re a marvelous girl.” “Thank you for your compliments, you make me feel good.” Over the last four days, I have found him to be really captivating. I can’t get away from his radiance. I respect him, no matter what he does. I feel just like the way Priscilla Presley felt when she met Elvis Presley in 1959!”
I included both essays to see which essay you would like better and so you can compare them. I mean, the stories are the same but different in themes. Let me explain how I “substituted” drugs, sex, and alcohol references. I substituted oral sex for a gold necklace, “I surprise him with a gold necklace.” I substituted beer for coffee and cocaine for Mountain Dew. I substituted bachelorette party for pool party; “The next day Nikki throws a pool party.” During the writing process in the final draft, I had substituted getting stoned for the word “content.” I substituted porn for movies, in particular, the movie “Horrible Bosses.” It was a lot of work, but I had to do what I was going to do. I nailed this assignment! And I was writing about my sex fantasy! When I turned it in I just did a few simple switches and refered to Nikki Sixx as Frank. My story is partially based on true events, in November 2009; I went to San Fransico, CA. I wrote an essay about that in the seventh grade, that essay was titled, “My Trip to San Fransico.” This was my opening line for that essay, “It was November 2009 and I am excited to take a break from school! The first three months of school have completely drained me.” My Mom does attend Antique Doll shows in Pasadena, CA occasionally. My Dad and I do visit Poo-Bah Records and Guitar Center in Pasadena, CA (of course we do, how would I know about it otherwise). I hoped you liked at least one of my essays. Doesn’t it serve as an example of how strong my feelings are for Nikki?
Saturday, January 25, 2014:
I did some research yesterday about snail reproduction for some reason. 1) Snails hang out by my house 2) I was just curious. 3) Marine Science class. I posted this on Twitlonger, “It’s really interesting you should read it! Snails actually get twice the pleasure when they copulate. All snails are hermaphrodite. So only call a snail an “it”, not he or she. All slugs have male parts.” You know why penises are my favorite part about nature? When I learn about animals, it’s always interesting to learn about their ways of mating. Penises are beautiful on all animals (I’m talking about the erect penis). [I know, that sounded so wrong! I didn’t mean it like that! I meant that artistically, I’m sorry!] When slugs intertwine their penises they actually glow a blue color and their penises make a flower shape. I think that’s really cool. The most appealing part of the penis is the glans (if you don’t know what that is, it’s the “tip” part of it). The genitals in general are the most interesting things to learn about. I like all no one two penises are the same. All animals have different penises including monkeys. So if I want to see your erect penis baby, there’s more reason behind than just sex, I just think it’s beautiful [artistically]. I think about it’s shape and everything, it’s amazing to me (you know the nature part of it). Write more later.
Sunday, January 26, 2014:
For the monkeys, I’m talking about the chimpanzees and the baboons. The barnacle is one marine animal that has an incredible penis; its penis can reach up to 10 feet in length. Another amazing penis in size is the one of the killer whale. When I said, alligators have permanently erect penis that they pop in and out of these sacks. Snakes have two penises. The echidna has a four-headed penis. These are all facts I already knew. Now you should know what I mean when I say in nature that no two penises are the same. This is why they are so fascinating. Even in humans, no two penises are really the same. We have showers, growers, vertical penises, horizontal penises, and it goes on. Now let me go more specifically into the snail reproduction story. Snails’ stab each other with love darts, basically needles that pop out their body. And if that needle stabs an organ, that snail dies, so snails are masochistic. Then the snails’ penises get erect, but snails do get twice the pleasure than what we do because, they are hermaphrodite. I’ll explain; the snails insert their penises into their vaginas. Can you get a picture of that? One penis is going inside one vagina simultaneously while the other snail’s penis is being inserted into the other snail’s vagina. Now do you get it? They get TWICE the pleasure. No fair!
Sunday, January 26, 2014:
When I orgasm I feel like someone hit me with a crow bar. I’m so kinky. I’m probably kinkier than Nikki Sixx is or at least about the same! Nikki and I would be a good pair because I’m more than 100% sure that I could sexually satisfy him. Give him a better sex life than what he has now. I [play around twice] and then I feel like I’m up in the sky. Getting an orgasm is getting high, and that’s the bottom line. And yes is it oh so NICE! I’m kind of like Kyle from the Sixx Sense, I watch a lot of that stuff, but I don’t really watch it that often. When I do, I watch a lot of it.
Moving on to the fact that I’m young, I NEVER wished that to be at this time. I was born in 1997, but if I were born 1977, I wouldn’t have missed all the great things that happened with Mötley Crüe in the 1980’s! I can’t change that, so don’t be looking down on me. Look down upon other people, but don’t do that shit to me. I’m becoming a legal adult, which is a GREAT thing for me right now. I still make GOOD DECISIONS like an adult should. I’ve gotten a lot of flack from Twitter users recently about my age, and I’m just putting this out there. When I do have my legacy at 30, I want it to be good one not a bad one! When I get there I get there. I’m just fine for now, rather be too young than too old! I hope that Nikki you won’t be discriminating against me either. That’s not good period! I’m very smart too and if I get smarter as I get older, so what. I’m not Justin Bieber.
Remember that sexual “virginity-breaking stuffed animal idea” from Wednesday, January 15th, 2014? I’m NOT doing that anymore at all. Total change of plan for me to “lose my virginity.” That idea was stupid anyway, don’t you think so? I think so! I’m “breaking my virginity” through the “Sybian” now, but NOT the real “Sybian.” What you know as the “Sybian” costs WAY too much money for me to be able to afford. What I am doing now is “breaking my virginity” through a bunch of good-ass dildos. I am constructing a sex kit VERY SIMILAR to the “Sybian,” and I can afford it. First, I have to purchase this thing called the “Liberator Bon-Bon Sex Toy Mount.” It is A LOT of work but I feel it may be worth it! Before I do that though, I plan on purchasing two other sexual items because, I feel that they are more important to me right now. One I think may be what they call a “restraint” and the other one is what they call a “pump.” It’s a certain type of pump, and I don’t know that if I should tell you, but I am because, I’m starting to fall into that trap. I feel I don’t need to start writing about “vagina anatomy,” but I need these straps, and these straps do something very specific. Dammit Nikki, I know you know all about the clitoris and so you were talking about it on the Sixx Sense recently. Great! That’s a good thing! Pat on the back to you, congratulations!
I still want to come up with a way we can have sex with our cars, since the car is our utmost personal possession. [NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!] I am going to come up with this way you can have sex in your car seat. AND do not steal my idea and profit from it! You have a plastic box, much like a car seat. There is door that opens. And out comes the dildo (for the women) or the flesh light (for you guys). I would get a plastic hollow box with a door cared into it. I would get another one of those “Liberator Bon-Bon Sex Toy Mounts” and then I would pop the dildo in it. When you open the door, then you can see the dildo. Some how that box will have to be firmly secured to the car seat so, it does not move. That is my vision people, sexual pleasure in your car, from your car. So Nikki now you know about my sex life so you don’t have to ask me about it. [I don’t have a real “sex life,” do I?] And I’m seeing Nikki Sixx in just two days from now, this Tuesday (January 28th) on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” I will be standing outside the fence because the tickets are sold out. Hopefully, it will be fun. I have my zoomies binoculars so I can see Nikki Sixx really well. I’ll also be taking pictures and recording at least one movie. I have to get ready for this event all tomorrow and I will also be leaving school at 12:00 PM on Tuesday. I can’t wait for it. I’m ready to see him again in person. It’s always better that way! I hope one day he changes his mind and decides that he wants to fuck me. Change it now, seriously I’m worth it. Come on now. Maybe we can be in a relationship together and the media will shit on us. But you know what baby, when the media [will probably] shit on us, we’ll shit on them back! I’m really craving another hug from Nikki right now. Like he says, “you take a taste of me and then you’ll never get away.” That’s so true baby. For my first car, I still want to get a Ferrari replica (I know a counterfeit Ferrari, how cool)! I either want to get a Ferrari Spider or a Ferrari California. I am never sure in my decision yet. I will pay my dues and become a good driver first. That way I know what I’m doing and I won’t get a bunch of tickets or wind up like “the Bieb.” I also was thinking about taking a tour at the Ferrari factory, if I could! That would be a nice adventure! Bye for now.
I just want to say one more thing tonight. I was on Facebook and Twitter looking at some posts that made me think of something, that I was looking recently. I just want to let you people know, and most importantly let you know, that I think Nikki Sixx is a beautiful human begin inside and out. I amazed by his compassion and his empathy that he holds inside of his heart. So I hope that made you feel good about yourself.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014:
I’m doing an another stereotypical entry in this book right now because; I felt it was an emergency. I am pretty depressed right now about a lot of things, mostly having to deal with my English teacher tomorrow. You see; her and I don’t get along anymore. I’ve been with her since last Friday. My English teacher me cry twice this school year, once last year (was) and she made me cry again on Friday, January 10th, 2013. It’s a shame because I gave her a card for the holidays this year and we were getting along well. I know that if she can make me cry once, and now twice, that there will be a third and possibly a fourth time. So as far as I’m concerned out relationship ended last Friday. And I confess that we both like David Bowie so to make myself feel better, I wore a David Bowie shirt on Monday. I’m into David Bowie also so that was my reason for wearing the shirt. And by the way, I’m not sixteen years old anymore; I celebrated my Birthday on January 2nd, 2014, so I am seventeen now. Now here’s what’s going on inside my head right now, and it will shock you. I realize Nikki is not the same person anymore as he was when he was younger. That can be good and bad for me. As people get older, that shadow of their youth fades away. I wonder if youth just fades away from them in general? Yeah, that’s right, me, I wonder if I will be able to really talk to him in the future and make a good connection with him again? I’m questioning myself. So this is weird, I have been fantasizing about the younger Nikki Sixx an awful lot. I mean him in 1981, the really young Nikki Sixx; yeah I guess him closer to my age. Here’s the problem; I like the raggedy clothes, his platform shoes, his hair, his body, and so on. So my head is all over the place right now. You know what, I like this kind of writing but, I hate school writing. I hate writing in school; it just isn’t the same. The flow of creativity and ideas just isn’t the same because I’m not motivated at all. I’m only motivated to write if it’s a topic that I’m interested in. You know what else is really weird right now; I have a poster of the Ferrari logo up on my wall. You know the black stallion horse behind the yellow background, and on top are the green, white, and red stripes (for the Italian flag). Sometimes I think about that horse, in very weird ways. And here’s another thing for you to chew on; I am really upset about the word “virginity” and what I means. I want to break my virginity, so I can let go the fact that there’s a stereotypical image with the word “virgin.” Damn right there is a stereotype that is directly linked with that word, and I don’t want to be that person. There’s an untouched, good girl, innocent image that goes with the word “virgin.” And I’m not stupid enough not to pick up on that. And I am uncomfortable with that. “Virgin” can also be used as a term to coin musicians that have not hit the big time yet or when an individual is first introduced to a new skill in life. Everything about this word “virgin” just frustrates me so much like you wouldn’t believe. And guys like think you’re “fresh out of the womb.” I can’t realistically break my virginity by its defining standards, but there is something that I can do to break the mental illusion of being a virgin. Some people think virgins are girls who have never been “penetrated” down there, got news for you; we’ve got dildos! If I think if it that way, it kind of makes me feel better, but really most people do not think of it that way at all. By definition standards, a “virgin” is someone who has never engaged in sexual intercourse; I’m sure they mean male to female copulation. I know this can be frustrating for gay people too. In the most bizarre way I plan on breaking my “virginity” and the mental illusion of the stereotype that comes with it. To “engage in sexual intercourse” you have to be having sex with a human partner. Oh come on, right? Well my solution to this puzzle is the make the partner, not human, but almost human. This is where I’m getting down to here, have you ever fantasized about a fictional character? Yes, No? I think it’s mostly the people who watched a lot of cartoons or have read a lot of comic books. Other fictitious characters may exist as mascots or in movies, in artwork, and so on. Well, if you can bring that character to life, I believe that character may be close enough to be human to you and you only. You can feel that way about it mentally. For me that character is the Tex Avery wolf, from Tex Avery’s “MGM cartoons” in the 1940’s. I do have a plan to bring that character to life, by making my own 6 foot tall life-size stuffed animal of that wolf. But I learned yesterday that’s going to really expensive; costs like over $200 to get all the materials together. What I was planning on is buying a strap-on harness dildo, and putting it on the life-size stuffed animal of that wolf. No, seriously like for real. So my strategy to getting this “virginity” off my mind is to make your own, or have your own, customized sex doll? Yeah, I guess that’s basically what I’m saying. What you know I’m in a situation, one of those situations. Where I have a celebrity crush and he’s getting married. I don’t want to fuck anyone else but him! So there’s nothing else for me to do with my “virginity!” So now I’m left with a choice either get the materials together for my wolf or do something else with my time. I can’t afford to spend $200 dollars (not all at once, at least) to build my stuffed animal. This is where the other character comes in, a car. You know damn right that Ferrari Testarossa is a beautiful car. And I would screw that car if I could and don’t you dare laugh at me. I don’t care if you do. See I told you this is all very bizarre. I can’t afford a car either, so what I’m going to have look into a getting a stuffed plush version of this car. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, “what the fuck man?” I think this is cheaper and I’d rather break my virginity with the Testarossa anyway. You know all I want to do is shatter a stereotype and mentally be able to think like my virginity is already broken. Yes, I know this got real weird. I think this “sex” will be a lot of fun. This is something that other people never get to do. And to do this, you have to be able to develop some type fetish for it, or else you will never be comfortable with it. I know I am going to be “having sex” with an inanimate object to be “breaking my virginity”. All I can say is that it probably works. And yes I know it’s kind of sad. Yeah I get depressed about Nikki, all the time; it hits me the hardest before I go to sleep at night. I know the 2nd semester ends on January 24th, 2014 so I have to chop-chop. I probably need to do homework this week too, like my Martin Luther King essay, and my “Marine Science” photography project. I know junior year of high school is really stressful. I want to make sure I do the assignments that are worth the most points so that I can pass my classes and/or get a good grade. And my Mom had the big screen TV on really loud, she was watching Elvis movies, so I couldn’t be on the computer and do my essay homework. Two good reasons, I couldn’t focus at all and I was tired. So I went in my room, my Mom has been cranky, so I was depressed last night. I have a computer in my room but that computer runs extremely slow. So this weekend my Dad will have to replace the computer in my room, which I may be able to get more of my homework done then. My Mom also keeps telling me she sent my English teacher an email, she told me to look at it and I didn’t want to. My teacher’s policy is that she only gives help during lunch break. Why would I even bother going to her for help ever again after she’s made me cry TWICE? I don’t even care anymore. It’s too late for excuses now. As far as I’m concerned in someone brings me to tears in their classroom, there no longer my friend anymore because, I have can’t have a positive relationship with that person anymore because, that person upsets me! So my Mom doesn’t understand why I’m stressed out.