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I am seeking editing suggestions, critique, feedback, and reviews. See the whole entire book at my web site thebackgroundofanne.yolasite.c… (This is just 10 pages of the book.) Send me emails at annehill310@yahoo.com
This book is ©annehill 2015.

Saturday, March 2, 2013:

I am NOT HAPPY right now. Mötley Crüe is away from the United States and I want them in the United States because, I want to meet Nikki Sixx so bad. I mean so bad that I’d sell my soul. To fly over to Abbotsford, Canada, a hotel, VIP tickets for 972 dollars! I’ll hand you 1,000 dollars to meet Nikki Sixx! I’m okay with that if I have to pay money. I just want to meet Nikki Sixx already and get this over with and get this out of my life! I want to give him a hug and shake his hand! Please for crying out loud; please help me! I can’t stalk him I would get in so much trouble! That’s impossible and beyond me! Why? Does it have to be so hard to meet Nikki Sixx in particular? I am crying and crying over this right now. My parents are ignoring me and isolating me. I am in A DARK PLACE right now. I have no clue when this book will be published and I WILL NOT meet Nikki Sixx until then. Trust me, I promise you that I am a gentle, loving, kind-hearted person, I am kid-friendly, family-friendly, and I am perfect. I am so upset and I am getting choked up as I write this! Why is it that Chole McCharty, and 8-year-old girl, and all these other people paying 972 dollars get to meet Nikki Sixx? Why? Why? Why? I want to know! Tears are running down my face? Can somebody please just tell me why! I really want to meet Nikki Sixx. When Nikki Sixx had his This Is Gonna Hurt book signing in 2011; I was only 14-years-old! I was a stupid 14-year-old! I am so sad! I am so helpless and can you please tell me Nikki Sixx is human just like me. I just need to talk to him. I am not trying to be aggressive. I am trying to declare my cries for help. I am JEALOUS of all these people paying 972 dollars to meet Nikki Sixx, Vince Neil, and Mick Mars in Canada! Dude, why can’t it be me for once? There is nothing wrong with me! I tell everybody and all my teachers know about Nikki Sixx. Cannot keep my mouth shut. Why did I fall in love with Nikki Sixx? I love Nikki Sixx no matter what. How can you love someone if you know you will never meet him? Difficult times right now for me. My Dad is NOT helping me and I am distraught. This is really sad for me; can you feel my pain? I am NOT the same person I used to be. I love Mötley Crüetoo much to resist this opportunity! Everyone in Canada will be able to enjoy this opportunity! Why me? Why is it that I get EXCLUDED! What if I did go to Canada and I told Mr. Sixx I flew all the way up here to meet him and I spent all this money! I love Nikki Sixx so much and only if you knew how much I love him. SO MUCH! What is it about Nikki Sixx that I love? I love his personality, his talent, his style, his photography, his music, his ego, his heart, his everything! I fell for him when I was really young and I couldn’t help myself. I am so sad that I cannot go up to Canada and party! I NEVER get to have any fun like that kind of fun! I NEVER get to miss school and go on a vacation. A vacation is exactly what I need. I need a big hug from Nikki Sixx. YOU KNOW that’s what I really need. I am in a depression right now. My Mom mocks me about every single thing I want to do. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO MEET Nikki Sixx. THE OPPORTUNITY WON’T HAPPEN BECAUSE, OF THE TIMING AND THE LOCATION! I will never meet Nikki Sixx! I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS! I still love him. When I was little, I saw photos of Nikki Sixx with Donna D’Errico and his children! I just fell in love with him, I was like one or two years old; I don’t remember! I remember Nikki Sixx in Brides of Destruction! And the best thing I can have is Tracci Guns from LA Guns to follow me on Twitter. By the way, he is very cool. I still love Nikki Sixx and I can’t show him that I love him if I WILL NEVER MEET HIM! I love Nikki Sixx and if I run into him; there’s no need to even be nervous. I know so much about Frank and I only want the best for him. I just really, really, really want to meet Frank, like everyone else who has.

How I fell in love with Nikki Sixx, how I choose him, is such a complex story. From the beginning when I heard “Looks That Kill” by Mötley Crüe. I remember I saw the music video and it was love at first sight with Nikki Sixx for me. I saw Nikki Sixx’s picture on Motely Crüe CDs. I obsessed with Mötley Crüeat a very early age and I don’t even remember how old I was? Probably like 4 years old. I remember when I saw the “Shout At The Devil” era Motely Crüe at that age I was thinking “They look so cute…I want to squeeze Nikki Sixx like a teddy bear…” I remember this explicitly. I wanted Nikki Sixx to pick me up and hold me. I had this beautiful fantasy that we would be walking somewhere and holding me when I was little. I cannot believe I remember this! When I saw Nikki Sixx with those funky sunglasses on with Donna D’Errico, it was love and lust. Of coarse, I liked him for his looks too, and his tallness. It was later that I would discover it was actual love. I remember experiencing love. This was something I never talked about. I would pretend I disliked Nikki Sixx or had no clue at all who he was! I never wanted anyone to really know the TRUTH was that I really liked him. I was just born with this crush! I wish I had been able to meet him much earlier in my life. Nikki Sixx is like my “Prince Charming” people. And I wish I was born earlier too so I maybe would have been able to marry him! Oh My Gosh! I love him, I love him, I LOVE him! The Internet was a whole other world for me. I used the computer very early in my life because; my Dad had me using computer software for toddlers. Then I went on the Internet and saw Mötley Crüe pictures on web sites. When I was a little kid, I just wanted to think about Nikki Sixx picking me up. I am the ugly duckling; I am the musician, the talent-less person who never got recognized for being a Mötley Crüe fan. And shockingly, I had wanted to be a part of Nikki’s family at that age too. I am admitting this for you Nikki Sixx. I want you to hear me. I love you. Aren’t I the ugly duckling? I know it just breaks your heart. My story may not be the best but please understand me that I am Nikki Sixx’s TRULY GREATEST fan.

Another concept that I do NOT understand, is that my Mom heckles at me because, of Nikki Sixx’s age and she calls him an “old fart.” Age is just a number (besides the fact that people have experiences in their life). Age is NOT funny (unless that old man is an asshole). I love Nikki Sixx so much that I will say that I am 54 years old to just to get people to accept my love for him. Come on, you know I cannot be 54 years old when I am 16 years old. I cannot be 38 years older than what I already am.

[READ MORE AT thebackgroundofanne.yolasite.c…

Lately, I have been spending my time listening to music on YouTube. My life is been easier for me these days. This is a short list of bands and musicians I spend my time on YouTube listening to: Little Feat, The Cars, Black Sabbath, Black Foot, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Hard Stuff, Three Man Army, Elvis Presley, Spirit, and Baker-Gurvitz Army.

On Sunday Febuary 23rd, 2013 I viewed Kerri Kasem’s Twitter Account (because, I wanted to). Then I found Nikki Sixx’s Tweets. All this week and last night I was on Nikki Sixx’s Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Which was really fun. And there was just this one photograph that just covered me in chocolate. (My analogy “covered me in chocolate” means to be excited over something sensual and provocative.) Sometime this year, Nikki Sixx visited the doctor and his heart was tested for an “Electrocardiogram.” He posted the photograph on Instagram of his “Electrocardiogram,” and I love this photo because, I think that his body is so attractive! There, I said it people. Nikki said that he has the heart of a healthy 30-year-old woman. I was wondering why they said he has the heart of a healthy woman when he is a man. My Dad explained this to me because, I asked him. Supposedly, there is a scientific theory that women have a stronger heart than men do because, women can get pregnant. Yesterday, I read that the “Y Chromosome” in a male baby makes the woman’s heart stronger because, the stem cells from the baby assimilate into the heart of the woman, which makes her heart younger. (The “Y Chromosome” shows presence in the women’s myocardial cells, this makes her heart younger.) Nikki Sixx has the heart of a healthy 30-year-old woman, now that’s someone who literally has a big, healthy heart!

On Friday, February 22nd, 2013, I came to my After-School Music Lesson with the “Friendship Circle.” Then on Saturday, February 23, 2013, my Mom was selling dolls at the Antique Show in Pasadena, CA. I spent the whole day in Pasadena, CA with my Dad listening to the Satellite Radio in the car. My Mom bought me a 1940’s Wind-Up Rabbit, a Reproduction “Raggedy Ann & Andy,” and a Vintage Duck Penny Toy. I love collecting new and old toys. On Sunday, February 24, 2013, my parents and I came to the Torrance Street Fair. My Dad and I ate desserts at the Torrance Bakery. Later, I ate ice cream at Foster’s Freeze. Before my Dad and I ate ice cream, we visited an Antique Shop that was having a sale. My Mom came into the Antique Shop and there was another vintage wind-up toy I desired my parents to purchase for my collection. The staff lady pulled out the vintage wind-up toy “Birds-In-A-Basket” and the toy was priced seventy-five dollars! So, I could not have this old toy. Emotionally, I felt very embarrassed because, my Mother wants to get a job really badly, now that I have reached age sixteen. I held discussions with my Dad on how I want to change my wardrobe. That’s all for today.

This book is unique and focused around the like-minded, caring teenager, Anne Marie Hill. I prepared in 2011 to write my book. This story begins with writings from early 2012. On January 2, 2012 I was only fifteen years old. My judgement and writing approach was deranged. Please read with a calm mind. Recognize the differences between my writing back and now. Please, realize my changes mentally also from 2012 to 2013. –February 27th, 2013

I crashed last night at about 9:30 PM. It’s 6:55 AM, Tuesday, January 10th, 2012. I decided this would be an official high point to start my book. We got a new car yesterday (last night). After school, I didn’t know if my dad would be gone all the way past Santa Barbara for an interview, security clearance. My dad has new job at the Air Force Base past Santa Barbara, CA. My mom picked me up after school, I asked her if our car was here, I thought I heard her say No. I had gotten one pulled underneath me; my dad was just running airens inside his 1975 Celica. The car was a long distance, once I got to the car, my mom told me she had to mail some bills. I keep asking her, if she had read my letter. She said I don’t have to make my furry costume. I can go with her credit card on the computer, with her watching me. I keep telling her to give me a budget, she kept telling me, “I have to go through my fiancées.” Then she drove all the way to Redondo Beach to Hallmark; I had to wait an hour for her to write her bills. We had a little bit of an upsetting conversation on the way there also. I didn’t like my mom’s perspective and I won the conversation. I kept telling me to read To Kill A Mocking Bird in the car but I just wanted to go home. Then we were talking about Assistant Principals. And we were talking about the brief Assistant Principal at My middle school. Which reminded me of something else, that I otherwise have forgotten about. After I came home, inside the house, my dad showed me a bag from Office Max, “Everything in this Bag 20% off.” I looked on the Microsoft Excel Spreadsheet, “Hardcover Journals 8 x 10.” I could not find any Hardcover Journals that were 8 x 10, which could qualify for my use, on “Office Max’s” online web site. I told him, “Staples has the Martha Stewart hardcover journals that are 8 x 10, 202 pages, for fifteen dollars.” Then my dad was on the computer look up the location of Staples. I thought he was looking up to see if there was one than one “Staples” near by. I was looking for my dark brown Monkey Knit Hat from JCPenny and I couldn’t find it. We went to Togo’s and I got the usual: Turkey Sandwich, White Bread, Deshaun Mustard, Swiss Cheese, Spring Mix, and Avocado. I got the Mini Sandwich. Then my dad and I went to Penguin’s frozen yogurt after that. That place just plays Go Country 101, and I heard Taylor Swift’s “Another Picture to Burn” on the radio. My dad and I were discussing Trader Joe’s and we weren’t going to go there until after we went to Staples. It’s 7:17 AM; I have to get ready for School.

January 12th, 2012, Thursday, it’s 6:30 AM. I was not able to come back to this book for 2 days. I haven’t written completely about January 9th, 2012, Tuesday. So much more happened, including our new car. I’ve rode in the new car quite a few times by now. On January 10, 2012, we went to the Santa Monica Pier, FOR THE FIRST TIME. And I got a Black Bomber Bird Angry Birds Knit Hat from one of the dealers on the piers. We never got home until about 8:00 PM or 9:00 PM, it was really late that night. Yes, a lot of changes and events etc has happened so fart this week. First of all, thanks to the Advertisement for the Red Tails movie trailer: Now I’m completely into “Porter Robinson – Unison (Knife Party Remix).” It’s the best dubstep mix out there from the end of 2011/for the beginning 2012. Congratulations Knife Party AKA Pendulum. I’ve listened to all the other songs by Knife Party also: “Internet Friends”, “Zoogly” ft. Skrillex, and “Crush on You (Knife Party Remix).” This is all off of YouTube. And there is quite another handful of YouTube Videos that are so funny/entertaining that I can’t stop watching them. Last night, I also came up with my logo inspired from the “Sunset Strip Music Festival 2011” font. On January 9, 2012, I came home and noticed something odd. This odd thing is going to be my logo also. Back in 2011, during the summer or sometime: We bought “Beware of Dog” signs. The “Beware of the Dog” Signs were both faded. My dad had to trace both signs to the best of his ability. The first dog sign hangs on the front gate. The second dog sign hangs on the back gate. When we pulled up to the driveway, I noticed something incredible about the first dog sign. How the “Beware of Dog” Sign changed. My dad traced over it, and made it have bug eyes and an open mouth with teeth. Which, it looked very much like the other Memes, that are already viral on the Internet. Right away I stared at it, my dad told me to check out the second “Beware of Dog” Sign also. But I just loved the first “Beware of Dog” Sign already. I took the dog sign down while my dad was in the car, activating “On Star.” I went in my room to try to trace it. Then I tried to draw an exact copy of it. All before we went to the Santa Monica Pier. Last night, my dad told me the Scan the “Beware of Dog” Sign because, he needed it back. We did scan it on the Printer/Scanner here by the computer. I had to print out a power point presentation of the “Sunset Strip Music Festival 2011” font graphics and with that Power Point Presentation, I put in the “Beware of Dog” scan. When I printed out, now I could trace that scan (on my special tracing lighted desk) in my room. I was luckily able to trace it with Black Sharpie. I started tracing some stencils out from the “Sunset Strip Music Festival 2011” font/title. I traced the M upside-down to make W for Werewolf Maiden. For “Maiden” I just traced the M not right side up. It took 6 drawings to make the final Black Sharpie logo for the word Werewolf Maiden. On the pencil drawing I had to measure everything. Then I had to trace that with Black Thin Pen. Then I had to do straight edge with Black Colored Pencil. Then I could finally make the entire logo with Black Sharpie. I did “Werewolf” and “Maiden” as separate words, in the first drawings. So that’s why there’s 6 drawing sat first, it’s really 3 drawings for each word. But it was work though. 7:02 AM, be back, I have to get ready for School again.

It’s 9:23 AM, January 17th, 2012. My parents have done some pretty horrific things to me. I don’t love both of my parents. I don’t love my mom and I will never ever forgive my dad. I can’t love them anymore. I just want file for divorce and call it all quits. A lot of things have happened from January 12, 2012 till today January 17, 2012. My mom is on the verge of getting rid of me. She doesn’t want me to occupy her living space anymore. And I was on Twitter tweeting about this abusive, complicated, abrasive situation this morning. I made a Twitter account. I was forced to because; I mutilated myself on Sunday, January 15th, 2012. Ever since I’ve been trying to be furry, it’s to the outback. My mom threatens my integrity by telling me she will put me in a boarding school and a reform school. Yesterday on Martin Luther King’s Day, January 16th, 2012 my mom tried to force me to go to bed. My mom poked me with her finger on my rib cage. I took my headphones off and said what. As I usually always do. She started to cover my mouth because I spoke in the family room. And my dad was sleeping in here. My mom also grabbed my arms and pinched me. My mom has been back to her own ways recently with arm grabbing and pinching. I walked away to go wash my mouth off because she had her hand over my mouth. My mom has covered my mouth about 7 times since December of 2011. I don’t approve of the germs also. I don’t understand my mom’s perspective. And I am concerned about being an artist (on the computer) and school. I concerned about this book also just as much. My mom keeps holding me back against the “Social Services.” I am concerned about the Social services coming to take both my mom’s and dad’s time. My mom is threatening me that she can’t deal with it because; she has dolls to put up on eBay. My dad had to go to several meetings with my mom the last this happened and the “Social Workers” are nosy. I’m scared for my life right now. Last night I couldn’t stop crying and hyperventilating. My mom and dad couldn’t give one damn about it. I need a picture phone and I need to get access to “Wi Fi” (Internet) on a phone so, I can tweet every single moment of it. When I end up forced into my room again, I want to have a CD player and headphones. Or I could have some type of Boom Box. I want to just play those Mötley CrüeCDs and Tweet Every Single Second of it. I haven’t listened to Mötley Crüe since about 2010. At least played a CD. I remember 2010 was the worst year of my entire life. I wrote a note last night and I need to give it to a consular at school. Or the front office, someone who is in a position to back me up needs to read it, and I need to get help now. It’s 10:13 AM. I was eating breakfast and my mom was arguing with me some more. My mom told me that I was disobedient child and she doesn’t need to deal with 3 barking Chihuahuas. My mom is ranting to me about going to the store. She says I need to come with her. My mom is threatening me with the dogs again, when she told my dad that she could do it anyway. I need to have a tape recorder to record all of these moments right now so I don’t ever lose them. I could show them to quite a handful of people soon. I should get to school. And give them the note, my mom wants to see my note. I don’t know if I’m walking home from school and if I’ll have the keys. My mom wants to shop with me at VONS or A1 Foods to get food for my lunch. I want nothing to do with her and its going to interfere with my time. I also got my log artwork meme done yesterday.

It’s 6:53 AM Wednesday, January 18th, 2012. First of all, now I’m done with all my links in my lists. I’m done with my Christmas List, which I was done with my Werewolf Maiden list earlier. I would like to complete this book by the 25th. If I could sit at the computer and write as much as possible, edit, proofread, and print. At school yesterday, I still had to bring the note any ways and hide the note. I had to pretend that I ripped up that note in front of my mom. And I went through hell that morning. According to what I tweeted on my profile: I was told that I was disobedient and that I disrespect both of my parents. “I have to judge a book by its cover and say older parents above 55 are not good parents for a 15-year-old teenager,” Tweeted 9:12 AM - 17 Jan 12 via web. I went to School and I had to hide two parts of the note in my pocket. Good thing I sure scanned a copy of that note, using our scanner printer. I went there and I got counseling right away, instead of going to 4th Period “Study Skills Class.” I was able to see my counselor fortunately, and she read my note. I told her how my parents feel about the “Social Services,” she said that no one is coming to our house. She just made copies of my note and she is giving it to my caseworker and the police officer employed at my high school. I have to keep this behind my mom’s back for as long as possible. Yesterday I got even more packages in the mail, which means my furry outfit Werewolf Maiden is almost complete. I’m am wearing my Faux Fur Tail, Red Faux Fur Leg Warmers, and Faux Fur Rainbow Monster Slippers from Justice: I got that for my Birthday as a gift from my friend. Last night I did something really stupid with my Grey Fingerless Faux Fur Gloves. I mean it’s really stupid. I was arrogant and I didn’t really know better. My Grey Fingerless Faux Fur Gloves are wet and they’re drying by the tub right now. Still drying. I was all the smell off if you know what I mean. 7:11 AM, I have to get ready for another no-homework-done day at school.

It’s 6:49 AM. Yesterday, January 18th, 2011 was American Censorship Day on the Internet. This is a very strife, strife epidemic. I’m included because I use YouTube and Twitter. I was going to start using “Tumblr,” Facebook, Myspace, deviantART, and “Blogger.” This is bad very bad. Nikki Sixx uses Twitter, Facebook and “Tumblr.” Nikki Sixx would only be able to have the means of using his Sixx Sense radio program for Podcasts. I’ll get to that in just a moment. Nikki Sixx in special in this book and yeah. Yesterday “SOPA” consumed very once of time that I’ve ever had on my hands yesterday. I had to get up early at 5:30 AM this morning. I got a nightmare about Marylin Manson, Jack Black, and a former Porn Actress set up a camp. They were in a clan to kidnap people after this “SOPA & PIPA Bill” was in affect to the Internet. They set up Kidnap Fun Camp with a trampoline. It was just a nightmare but I remember all of it so vividly. Did you know that “SOPA & PIPA” is a direct threat to me. I’m using the Internet to make online purchases to be the Furry and the Fashionista I want to be at the same time. I hope January 24th, 2012 comes already and this bill is not passed. With all the efforts to fight “SOPA & PIPA.” I watched over 100 YouTube Videos yesterday on January 18th, 2012 about “SOPA & PIPA.” I found out on January 18th, 2012 at school. In health class we went to the Library to use the computers and get on the Internet. When I finally could access the computer without, my School ID logging me into the computer: I went to Google.com and I saw their Front Page. I saw what the Censorship Bar was about Google Blackout. After School when I came home, I went on YouTube and I searched “cs188”. I’ve been a follower of something called “YouTube Poop” for years now. And when I was 13 years old and 12 years old, I also did “YouTube Poop.” My YouTube Account was held “tyger2011gotsuspend.” Why: Because my first YouTube Account “tyger2011” got suspended off of YouTube already when I was even younger. And “cs188” videos are funny. The videos include mainstream sensations like Billy Mays and Vince Offer. And there is way more to “cs188” including “Pooping the Charts” is the video that I think originally linked me to “cs188” on YouTube. “SOPA & PIPA” disagrees/agrues with that I’m going to be uploading a YouTube Video slideshow of my Photography. There will be one Slideshow on YouTube with a Dubstep Song and another with Rock Music. This is bad news for new Artists of coarse. I’ve seen all on YouTube already. I’m thinking about making a YouTube Video about this also. This hits the computer age with the Internet directly. And this targets young teenagers in High School deciding what to be when they grow up. That is if they want to be involved with Business Internet Trafficking, YouTube, Invent a new Social Network, etc. Just like me and my Werewolf Maiden art and photography. This affects all photography and the Internet also. “SOPA & PIPA” also affects all photographers using the Internet and Other Online Tools. January 18th, 2012 interrupted my whole entire work process and my entire day and night. “SOPA & PIPA” research interrupted my Science Directed Reading Homework.

It’s 3:49 PM on January 19th, 2011. I talked to my “Lunch Club Teacher” and she suggested that I write a letter to a local congressman/representative in my area. I’m Werewolf Maiden. I want to purchase clothing off Internet Websites to be a Fashionista and some of it Faux Fur. I have most of the Fur Affinity/Faux Fur Stuff taken care of on my own already. I want to upload a Slideshow of my Photography on YouTube and using Background Music. I want to upload my Photography on Tumblr, deviantART, Blogger, Myspace, and Facebook is pending. I am thinking about uploading on Flickr also. I want to publish all of my books. I need Cooperate Sponsorship in order to obtain “a cash grant” to purchase all of my (Fashion, Attire, Wardrobe) off the Internet as a whole. If “SOPA & PIPA” passes will they find a copyright infringement in my Photography: What I Am Wearing? What I Am I Holding In My Hands? What will happen to all the Internet Fashionistas if “SOPA & PIPA” pass? Fashionistas Occupy: “Tumblr,” Twitter, Mysapce, “Blogger,” Facebook, and “YouTube Fashion Tips.” What will happen to all the Scene Kids on Myspace, YouTube, or Facebook? Most Scene Wigs are sold on Etsy.com. There might be Scene Kids on Tumblr even also too. Werewolf Maiden embraces Scene Fashion just a little bit. What will happen to Furaffinty.net? The Furry Conventions are organized and sponsored on the Internet. If “SOPA & PIPA”  pass Crüeheads on deviantART will be in the dark! Okay Bro. Nikki Sixx has to try and interact with his fans, right? I saw over 100 videos on YouTube on January 18th, 2012 about “SOPA & PIPA.” It’s 4:51 PM on January 19th, 2011. My dad just called and responded to the message I left on his Cell Phone. I signed four Save the Internet petitions in my Dad’s Name. I don’t know how I would bring any light to the petitions or not because I’m a minor. My Dad’s Name is okay for now. Probably my mom and I (myself, my name) should sign the petitions also.

So I watched over 100 videos on January 18th, 2012 on YouTube about “STOP SOPA.” I tweeted all the videos that really gave me shocking information, if they expressed their concerns really well, and if they gave new light in the issue in their rants. A video that was uploaded on December 23, 2011 from the UK (I can already tell it’s from the UK) to YouTube. He brought up a really good point that needs your undivided attention. How are you going to be able to use the Internet to “immerse yourself in bands”? This is really disgusting. “If the SOPA bill goes into affect after the Winter Recess: Open source Software Projects may be shut Down, Mozilla being the Main target.” December 23 2011 via YouTube Webcam Video “You  will no longer have the freedom to enjoy. You will no longer be able to research new knowledge. You will no longer be able to immerse yourselves in a new band. Your never going to be able to share, find, or receive information with friends or peers in the same manner we do now in Websites like Tumblr and Facebook. All those links will be affectedly cut and shut down.” December 23 2011 via YouTube Webcam Video

Well shout out to you Bro.  Musicians Institute in Hollywood, California streams Live Video off the Internet. And I was the only one who chatted/commented on their Facebook Live Stream AKA a campaign called “Conversation Series.” According to my Original Print Screens from November 6, 2011, I posted as the user “Identity”: “One day I will make my own debut – You will know who I am one day. Good day.” “I know a lot of things, that some people don’t know. I will write all of that…writer.” “I am actually really young, lying about being older. But you will know me bro.” Sounds like I’ve got my tongue out. Like this is posting would be posting as Anonymous. It sounds like some weird gibberish. I wonder if anyone thinks this is funny? Musicians Institute in Hollywood, California has a web site also. I can imagine “Starting A New Band” (Especially Younger Bands): You need Band Schools, All Forms of Communication, Magazines & Interviews Help, Online Booking, and a Myspace Profile with Streaming Music. To launch yourself as a musician: You need Advertisement Help. Without this, that’s how bands can break up or get screwed over. Today’s world and technology absolutely plays a vital role in Music. Another YouTube Video uploaded November 29, 2011 about “SOPA” and he claims he is a Musician. “You know on the surface it really looks like a brilliant idea. Their really making an effort to reduce how much can be stolen and how much is stolen. I’m actually a musician and I have copyrighted works out. So to me, this is big for me.” November 29, 2011 via YouTube Webcam Video “So I started reading into this. And I started looking into it more, and more, and more and kind of reading deeper into it. And the more I looked at it, the more I was against it.” November 29 2011 via YouTube Webcam Video –Thanks for the support bro. It’s really inspirational. You look like a young adult, who has sort of an Emo look going on. Kind of similar to Andy from Black Veil Brides but I defiantly know your not. So that’s cool. There is a comment on this video: This was video that was uploaded on November 29, 2011: The comment says that he needs to cut his hair. Okay, so who ever you really are dude that’s just fine with me. I also viewed a YouTube Video uploaded December 11, 2011; he’s lonely 14-year-old making this video from his Basement. Although, he actually says that he’s “a lonely 14-year-old living in his basement.” Another YouTube Video uploaded December 10, 2011 appears two adolescent girls are presenting information “SOPA.” The two adolescent girls are presenting the information in a School-Like Presentation Style. According to the video, they mention another YouTube Video by “Vlogbrothers” that discusses the SOPA topic.

It’s January 30, 2012, 9:49 PM FINALLY. I’m blasting “Hey Sexy Lady” Remix by Skrillex. Oh damn, a lot has happened in January 2012. I have not been able to access this vault in a long time. I’m not done with my book illustrations I had just started on Tuesday, January 24, 2012. To start with some information; I have habits of falling asleep. And by now, Mötley Crüe is in Las Vegas. That means I follow Nikki Sixx on Twitter, I keep reading his Twitter. And it’s not that pleasurable when no one tweets back. I have favorites 5 of Nikki Sixx’s tweets. But I just get sicker and sicker. I have tweet Nikki Sixx 10 times and have not gotten one Reponses back. This makes me feel so ill that Nikki Sixx will never EVER tweet to me back. Yeah, you never will and I said so. And this alone just makes me sad. Wait until you read some more bullshit in this book. Today, after reading Nikki Sixx twitter that he is in Las Vegas and I feel asleep. I feel so happy for Mötley Crüein my heart right now. But I can’t be there and I won’t be able to go. And that’s fucking rotten and all know it! I feel so happy that I am near tears (especially after seeing more for this vaule on the Sunset Strip Billboard). But all I can do right now is sleep and dream. It’s 10:10 PM and I am not listening to/playing Skrillex right now anymore. I dosed off on the couch and then my mom came in the family room. I was half asleep and I keep saying “fuck” over and over again. I keept pointing my middle finger because, I never felt so disrupted from sleeping in this mannor before. My Mom came into the family room because she wanted to watch a movie. Instead of doing Homework like, I always should have been forever and forever all these hours. Then I went into my room and I tried to take a nap but, I just couldn’t touch myself because, I was dreaming so intensily, fulfillily, and heavily. My dream was about a miracle, a rainbow, and sex, sex, sex, and more sex. Sex is all I ever dream about pretty much. Sex that’s not in a movie; something that more real!!! I finally got myself back out of bed at 7:00 PM tonight. Then I called my dad up on the phone to tell him about my sleeping mistakes, being out of printer ink, getting another scrapbook album, my solo dance test, and my feelings about Study Skills Class at school. On Friday, January 27th, 2012 I finally uploaded all my Werewolf Maiden logos on Twitter, deviantART, Facebook, Tumblr, Myspace, YouTube, And “Blogger“ (Profile Picture). And I created four new logos for Werewolf Miaden based on Hats and Earrings from “Aldo Shoes.” I have 34 Werewolf Maiden logos files that I uploaded on the Internet. I have issues with being late to School and I have been all this January. I was one minute late this morning and the assistant principal was doing the sign-ins and she looked directly at me. Then I walked out and the dean saw me. That always makes my morning (or entire day at school) 50 percent harder to deal with. This weekend on Saturday, January 28, 2012 I went to Hollywood during the daytime instead of at night with my mom included. I was supposed to go to Amobea Music to buy the whole Cobra Starship album. But I have not listened to Cobra Starship songs yet at all. All I needed was “You Make Me Feel..” by Cobra Starship ft. Sabi. I had orginally picked the song for something else. The theme song for Nikki Sixx and [this sister]: They make each other feel the…Na Na Na La La La La La. And all the ohs and the ohs, yeahs, and the screws. I just found out that we had to perform that song today in front of the class: its actaully a test. AND I KNOW A LOT ABOUT MY DANCE TEACHER. Oh yes, I do Nikki Sixx! So I had to talk to Carol when I was there, then I had to talk to Ashely (she’s the Teacher Assistant), then Ashely and I had to talk to my dance teacher togeither because I was so scared of what her freakin’ reaction would be to the situation. Nikki Sixx: My dance teacher has Sixx:Am on her I-Pod and no Mötley Crüe. That means one thing, or another. My dance has EVERYTHING expept Mötley Crüeas far as I know. My dance teacher started teaching about 15 years ago. So you decide! –We discussed it and they said I would have to do improv. And they called me today, and I did improv. EVERYONE SCREAMED! I was scattering all around the classroom with my grey faux fur gloves and my gold sunglasses. I was kicking my legs up in the air, shaking my back a little bit, moving my feet, posing my arms, and everything extra. And they loved me. I was “Straight Forward” when I told them that I was doing improv. There’s a art paper/poster assignment that goes with this: And No, No I didn’t have any characteristics or no art. Sorry. I had to keep saying No. To me, that felt kind of like this: “Cut! Cut the scene! Stop recording!” But then I was ever so careful afterwards to put it all together. Amen said I was good, that I did a good job! Irene starting singing, then I told her she was a good singer. We were all talking about it. She was joking around with “How she was going to Audition on American Idol..” Then I sat there and clapped to everyone eleses’ solos. Amen was going to be nice to me: “Don’t tell anybody but, I was going to improvise for you and come up with some of the choreography at home.” I thought I would have to stay up past 1:00 AM coming up with a dance and choreography! I told my friends: “Originally, I picked this song for something else!” I was supposed to post 2 blogs before Saturday, January 28, 2012 and they all have been postponed. It’s been forever. As of Saturday, January 28, 2012 I had 4 more blogs developed to post on “Blogger.” Two plus Four equals Six Blogs as of Saturday, January 28, 2012. It’s January 30, 2012 and I have NINE Blogs to post on “Blogger” now. On Friday, January 27, 2012 something very grusome happened in my Math Class. ANOTHER TEACHER HI-JACKED OUR CLASSROOM. And I’m telling you that Nikki Sixx –if he were there, he would stick up for us, and kick this guy’s fucking ass. And Nikki Sixx would stand up from me and protect from this fuck ass pig man!! I sent an email to my parents during “Study Skills Class” and my dad was the only one who got the email on January 27, 2012: “I’m having a hard time sending this email in study skills Period 4 because the assistant (she’s an old lady) is giving me sorta a hard/bad time. I have to take 2 tests for Health Class in here because [Counselors for My High School] wanted to see me during Period 3. This morning in Math Class, [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] (another teacher) went into [Math Teacher] class and started shouting at all of us. And I was the only one who responded to his shouting. I wrote about this; this morning in English Class Period 2. “All I can think about this morning is Sixx Sense (I was talking to my dad about that, this morning). I wish that Nikki Sixx would have been there for me. [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] is the guy who deserves to “get macked in the mouth.” If Nikki Sixx was there with me, he would have told [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] to get the fuck out. Nikki would have thrusted through that door and would have said, “Fuck You” to that guy at the top of this lungs. [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] would have gotten punched for this. I don’t care what goofy shit this was. Nikki would have kicked this guy in the balls! [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] would have made Kerri Kasem cry!” “Now I have 2 blogs to write about. Plus 2 more things to write about in my book.” . [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] hijacked our classroom and said, “What you learning...” I’ve gotta stop this e-mail now. The assiant is going to give me a hard time. I’ve got another Health Test to do. (To Be Continued.....)” –I wrote about this Incident in my Warm-Up for English Class also: “[Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] just went into our classroom and started shouting. [Name of Math Teacher] said, “Because it’s Friday, he’s in a good mood.” Ever since I first met that guy, I’ve disliked him. The voice in my head is speaking to him. I’m going to send an email in Period 4 and erite about this. I’m thinking about that radio show Sixx Sense. I know that Nikki would have went and thrusted through the door and stood up for me and the whole classroom. I can’t even say the rest of my thoughts. At that time, I just wish that Nikki would have been there for me. Kerri would have been crying because of that guy! I was the only one in the class who even responded to his shouting. Now I two new blogs. And something even newer to write about in my book. I’m really ticked off right now.” –I wrote that in my Warm-Up for English Class so, my English Teacher can read it. So I have to be careful about what the hell I’m writing and the language. Another teacher Hi-Jacked our classroom by opening the door, my Math teacher saying: “Oh, this is [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] everybody.” He just started screaming, ranting, raving, and shouting. I looked at him with some amusment at first like it was funny, or something, (funny like it should be in a freakin’ teacher High School sitaution). This is what he said: “HOW ARE YOU DOING!”, “I SAID HOW ARE YOU DOING!” I did’nt say anything, or I might have repilied with good/fine; I don’t remember really. “WHAT DAY IS IT TODAY!”/”TODAY IS FRIDAY!” [This guy reminds me of someone who is shooting up Herion, or doing Smack after, listening to “Friday” by Rebbecca Black on their YouTube Window!] –By then, I felt by CAUTION reacters doing off on alert. I was beinginng to wish I could just kick this guy in the balls. Nikki Sixx: What would you have done for me! Lift me out of my chair, push that guy out of the way, and just carry me outside. Then we can run and say “Fuck You!” This guy is like a 500 LB mad, fat papparzzi; let’s get him! –”YOU’RE LEARNING WHAT?” “WHAT ARE YOU LEARNING?” I actaully responded to his question by simipliy saying: “Math.” And I was the only student in the whole one who did so. “I’M ONLY GOANNA GET LOUDER!” “THEY CAN HEAR ME ACROSS THE HALL!” –Nikki Sixx could take out his Camera: Maybe that would make this fucker go away. Then my math teacher started to speak, “Who wants to do the next math problem, do you want [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] to do the next math problem?” “[Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] do the next math problem for us on the board.” The guy responded with; “I’m out of here!” Holy Shit, after just wanting to just please get your video phones out to record this on video. This teacher is obbess by the way; he looks about 400 or 500 pounds and he is about six feet tall. This guy/teacher has a beard and my math teacher brings that subject up in class constantly. I told my math teacher “If this dude was on drugs.” “I think his eyes are red.” “He’s drunk.” This guy pretty much lives in his classroom, it’s his house away from home. I’ve been inside of his classroom a few times initially from my Science Class to take a few tests. I did not approve of some of the shit he brought up in his conversations with other children in his classroom ethier. The first day, I called him a total Jackass. I got pulled in the with some counselors from the district: I haven’t chatted with them since October of 2011 so I was surprised. They told me they know him: “He’s a holly jolly real big football guy.” I think everyone likes football. And we all know that Nikki Sixx loves football too. I did’nt bring up Nikki Sixx not once when I chatted with those girls, not once. But I did bring Sixx Sense into the bowel: “If you know what it is; I’m going to die.” These counselor girls didn’t even know what Sixx Sense is. They probably don’t listen to “98.7 FM” or reason like that. On Saturday, January 28, 2012 I had a hard time getting ready at about 9:00 AM to go to an Antique Doll Show being held in Gendale, California. Once we drove over there, after eating at Mc Donald’s in Glendale, when my dad and I finally got inside to wait for my mom: I saw something that I’ll never forget. Of coarse, there was a bunch of strange people at this place which, made me feel uncomfortable. But these two really old women were so crippled. I tried not to look as the family support persons where pulling in two long gurneys through the doors. These two women had so many tubes attached to their skin and there skin is more wrinkled than anything else. There arms were dangling towards the clinging up above us. This is almost anything ever more intense and altering sight than anything that Nikki Sixx has ever captured in his photography. And I mean on this Tumblr Account also. The sight was so blinding almost. I wish you were there with my dad and I. “Maybe you could have captured the sight after they were clearing.” “Maybe you could have captured it.” “But only if you were there.” After the doll show, we exited the freeway to go into Hollywood Blvd in Los Angeles. We excited into Sliver Lake of Los Angeles, West of Hollywood unfortunately. I know the neighborhood is pretty skuzzy. I remember I saw a man sitting on a bench who had really skinny arms and legs. This man had a really fat stomach and “man boobs” with really skinny arms and legs. That proably could have made an interesting photograph. This man looked almost deformed with the placement of fat vs. skinny. All we did is drive through Sliver Lake. We were going to this pizza place on Hollywood Blvd called “Stefano’s” AKA “Two Guys from Italy.” My mom, dad, and I, went inside that place, after walking through busy Hollywood Blvd, and something dangerous encountered us. We sat down to eat our pizza and this street guy came around from the corner and he was making Chihuahua noises. I didn’t know at the time but he was selling bracelets. When I thought he had a weapon on him. He approached us and he were waiting for our pizza and I was trying to stay still. Because I was so scared. Really scared. Then we dove the Sunset Strip and I saw “Mötley Crüe takes on Sin City” (AKA Las Vegas) poster again. Which my mom pointed it out to me this time on the Susnet Strip. Now that was moving Nikki Sixx. I’ve got a thing about the Sunset Strip, I want my Werewolf Maiden logs out there on the Billboards. On Tuesday, January 31, 2012 I was so depressed because I fell in love with Sixx Sense. I realized that guys just rock, and that I really want to be a part of it. And that I really miss every single moment of it. I wrote this in Period 4 on Tuesday, January 31st, 2012: “Period 4. I have no clue what time it is. If I’m waiting or I’m somewhere I don’t want to be. Without a cell phone yet. I start writing. I didn’t really want to go to Period 1 Math. I was about ready to cry this morning. When I was getting dressed this morning, I was loud and obnoxious. I’m in love: With not just Nikki. I’m in love with Sixx Sense. I’m in a trashcan soaking and suffering. Because I know I want every single fucking moment of it. I have no self-confidence and I do not care about anything else. I need to upload everything online today, my logos, and follow everyone on Twitter. I am so sad. I want yo go the fuck home. I am hurt inside. I hope the outside of me looks like a celebrity. I hope the outside of me looks to itself online and in the limelight. Twitter and the Iphone/Ipad are goanna eat me up. Everyday Nikki tweets Courtney”’s ability to eat him up. Nikki has mentioned her at least ten times on Sixx Sense already. I am a stupid, hopeless, freak. I have something to say to Kerri kasem also. A lot to say. Just look at me already. I want to be a part of the Crew. I want to take over the web site to make it so fucking fresh. Smells like the mall and the Internet dress sense. I wish I could try to Re-Upload the logo. We click restart. I am still frightened and sad. I want to go home right now. Sixx Sense gives me a weird lust overdose. I feel like my hormones are raging. I hate critics. Shut the fuck up and give my a fucking chance. Your goanna bark like wild oak tree. An oak tree which, has been preserved in the same location for eternity. –Randall was on Sixx Sense, I just found out by clicking “Most Watched”, %100 agreed Nikki. I’m the honey badger, not that girl, or, whatever makes us say that I’m dumb. –Nikki (just you all) groupe me. I want it. What the hell? (Just you all) can touch me. I’m left out. I am fucking isolated. I have an obsession with my faux fur gloves. I’m so screamy and abnoxious. I’m loud. But I’m so shy. I love faux fur. No purses, shoes, gloves, tails, leg warmers, and other nice things. Imagine a world without faux fur. Sixx Sense furry logo. Seriously, that shit happens. I’m hooked on Gold Round Sunglasses. I love those sunglasses. I love cool-looking nails too. Gad Dammit meet me, and just destroy the cage also. What do I do? Just phone or texting. That sucks. What do I wear? Everything that I bought. I want a damn Sixx Sense purse/bag/tote.” The curse words were censored when I wrote this at school. I really some point in this rant about hormones and lust I was trying to write about sex. But I can’t write about that freely at school. Sixx Sense gives me sexaul vibes and I think it’s true. Nikki Sixx has opened up to his cushioned booty, his balls, and his dick. I mean what the hell, right? LOL?  Mötley Crüehas done an Advertisement for “KIA Motors” which will be airing this Sunday at the Superbowl 2012 Tevelsion Time. I had to read the YouTube Video Description of “Adriana Lima “Big Game” Kia Optima Teaser” uploaded on January 25th, 2012. Then I finally got it. I had to read all the press for KIA Motors. Mötley Crüe performs in the Advertisement with flames (Computer-Simulated/Animated/Effects) in front of Screens (the set of the advertisement). Where does the professional fighter go any ways in this advertisement? Victoria’s Secret just turned into a 90-foot, white and purple striped, female monster with sharp teeth, a 6-foot mouth, with a sculpted body. I hope I’m a fucking big deal just like that. Nikki Sixx can you let me know about the next Mötley Crüe television or media debut? I mean, it’s really cool. But I hope this blows way soon so you can talk about me. The advertisement has “Mr. Sandman” by The Chordettes. “You know you call him that Lollipop, Oh Lolli, Lolli, Lollipop!” The Chordettes Trololo Everyone! “Mr. Trololo” by Eduard Khil: What the freakin’ Advertisement is that! LOL Again. It’s 1:40 AM Tuesday, January 31, 2012 NOW! At the “Roxy Theatre” there was a Launch party for Sixx Sesne. And I watched the video on Sunday January 28th, 2012 and I got depressed because I could have went. I got confused at one part though: When he says that he’s not supposed to pick his eleven-year-old up from school. And the crosswalk person asks if he’s Chris Angel. The only conclusion I came up with is that he might have carried his 11-year-old girl in his arms the whole way to the car! Wouldn’t Chris Angel do some illusion or magic like that? What the hell is this? Oh wow. hat if it was me here. Carry me in your arms; oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! (Awesome Face) Yeah, carry me the whole way to Sixx Sense Studio! HA-HA-HA! It’s 1:56 AM now!

So, I haven’t wrote in this book for over a month! I’m forced to write in here now, because, instead of being the worst time of my life, unlike all my other experiences in life, this is the saddest time of my life so far. It’s 5:21 AM and it’s February 17, 2012 now. Of coarse, a lot of things have happened. Especially to happening to me. Now I’m going to finishing this entire fucking book. I know how to tell this little story from beginning to end. It’s the saddest time of my life, because I learned that really, Nikki Sixx can be so Crüel with his ways sexually. Cooking to him means that you have to fuck him also. But that’s not all, its only half the story. I’m a dead girl, I’m not really alive. It’s a new theme I’ve incorporated. My voice, my actions are dead but, Werewolf Maiden is alive. Well, not really. I’m not supposed to be here, I’m not supposed to even exist. I don’t exist at all. If Nikki Sixx cooks for [this sister] everyday that means since this fall, this summer: It’s a 500 to 892 ratio how many times Nikki Sixx has fucked [this sister]. Nikki Sixx provides [this sister] with a bottle of whine, and that puts her out. So Nikki Sixx can insert his dick inside her. And I just learned this very dark, plastic, sex, dirty-ass, motherfucking, shit-ass secret. Why did’nt you say nothing earlier? Don’t you know you lie about having buckwild sex everyday of your life when you talk to other people? Technically, it’s [sex], so Nikki Sixx has [sex] [with this sister], and she likes it. [This sister] is okay with it. Of coarse she’s okay with it. Let’s see the statistics. [This sister]: Sex Drive, Clothing from H&M, Modeling for Photographs, Living at Home with Mom and Daddy, Has Hardly said a Word on Camera or in General, Tries to Idolize Glam Rock Gods (David Bowie), Sharon Tate was the most Beautiful Women who ever Lived, Shoes, Bag Lady, okay. Anna Nicole Smith to Marylin Monroe. Courtney Bingham to Sharon Tate? Um, yes-no. But, now I can see how Courtney Bingham copies Sharon Tate. And Lana Del Rey to Nacy Sinatra! But we all can see something a little bit cooky cooking inside [this sister]. Making the exact same facial expressions and characteristics as Sharon Tate would bring up a passion for the Camera, right? Well, then it’s photography, right? I have not ever seen [this sister] wear a hippie headband. Is [this sister] a crazy hippe, a little out of line, crazy in general? Hmm..let’s take a good look again. The plastic fantastic lover, we’ll just have to learn again. Go ask Nikki Sixx right now if he likes Sharon Tate, go on. We’ll see what Nikki has to say. You think that [this sister] has ever attended an action for Sharon Tate. “Sharon Tate’s Engagement Ring..” Well, how did this all happen in the first place? On Google.com, when you search for Images of Sharon Tate, sometimes you see evidental pictures that could date back to 1969, that Charles Manson murdered her, that makes it very hard to breathe; doesn’t it. Because that’s really sad. [This sister] produced “The Underground Comedy Movie 2010” with Vince Offer (The Sham Wow Guy) and Lindsay Lohan was in “The Underground Comedy Movie 2010”. So she possibly has (or really has) worked with Lindsay Lohan. “Lindsay Lohan’s comeback role may be as Sharon Tate in the upcoming…” content from Nydailynews.com Lindsay Lohan has been handed down a role for “Eyes of a Dreamer: The Charles Manson Story” this web site says, originally from TMZ. “Lindsay to play Sharon Tate??” from Perezhilton.com, even Perez Hilton knows about Lindsay’s comeback as Sharon Tate. This is very interesting. Hey Nikki, this isn’t funny. Does anyone know, what do you think she’s looking for? Jim Morrison, Iggy Pop, is there any other artist that [this sister] likes? “Oh yeah, sure, I can have a whole entire list of them!” “Hennes & Mauritz AB” abbreviated as “H&M;” Erling Perrson in Västerås, Sweden founded the company in 1947. The company in 1947 called “Hennes” which is Swedish for Hers and sold women’s clothing only. And this is all according to Wikipedia.com. In 1968 “Mauritz AB” established a Hutning-Equipment store inventory (which included men’s clothing) in Stockholm, and Perrson expanded to men’s wear. Then Perrson’s son took over in the year 1990. Now most of the clothing is made in Asia. So, there’s the establishment of H&M for you. Now, don’t try to hard to be passionate about your clothing from Asia.

Now, I really have to go this way don’t I. Another look at [this sister]. [This sister] has an excessive sex drive, right? Now I am asking this question. Seriously, because, I know what happened to Nikki Sixx, now, I do know what happened pretty well. Does [this sister] have hypersexaulity? Because, when I heard the song “Nympho” by Borgore. I think I darn well learned something at all. Would this mean, and is [this sister] is a nympho. Would this mean [this sister] is being a nymphomaniac? Look, I know no one likes stereotypes. Nikki Sixx, is this [sister] hypersexual do you possibly believe for crying out loud? And now you’re buying her a bottle of whine just because, it’s easy to put her out. It keeps getting better? What keeps getting better: Sex, Sex, Sex, Hot Sauce, Fries, Ketchup, Eggs, and Bacon? Flowers, Cards, Love Notes about What: Love? Flowers, Cards, Love Notes, Certificates, Balloons, Cakes, Pumpkin Pie, Cheesecake, Ice Cream, Panties, Bras, Hairspray, Cologne, Perfume, Lingerie, and you’re free to add to the list. He truth is, I’d rather deal with the 1990’s like if Nikki once snorted cocaine off a women’s butt. He would need to go to rehab. Nikki Sixx drinking, well, I hope good times are to be remembered. Hey, it never used to like this okay. To me, this is worse, over riding everything that was ever considered “bad”. This is a crisis, Nikki Sixx is terrible, at least, sexually, and now we all know! Now I want those years back, like 2007, 2008, or 2009. I want 2007 back. Wow, like really this would happen: well, duh! But I remember Brides of Destruction, remember Nikki Sixx with Donna D’ Errico. Not any of this shit would have happened! [This sister] has succeeded at making Nikki Sixx more terrible then he ever could have been, ever. Remember that. Well, since I know now that Nikki Sixx is having sex everyday, and he buys [this sister] whine on purpose to have sex with her. I AM NEVER GOING TO HAVE SEX AT NIKKI SIXX’S HOUSE WHEN HE MEETS ME. That’s right. When it really happens, somewhere outside: like the beach. NOT AT HIS HOUSE EVER! AND I AM NEVER COMING TO NIKKI’S HOUSE ETHIER. I AM NOT COMING INSIDE NIKKI’S HOUSE. At least that’s what I say for now, because, then again that is his house. THIS IS A SCANDAL AND I AM COMPELETLY OUTRAGED. I am also utterly disappointed. I am dead I just died. Before I even heard about this, was the last few moments I got to live, I am taking this very hard. AT LEAST WHEN WE HAVE SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME I AM NOT COMING TO THA SIXX MANOR, “YOU CAN RUN TELL THAT, YOU CAN RUN TELL THAT, HOMEBOY, HOME, HOME, HOME-BOY!” Seems like when you finally confess, it seems like you have nothing for me. “SO DUMB, SO DUMB!” “We gon find you,” “Sixx Dawg,” okay, I’m sorry but THIS IS WRONG! “You are so dumb, you are really dumb, for real!” Nikki Sixx confesses a special VE-DE Day 2012! “Valentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day!” You feeling that, do you feel that love?
I am seeking editing suggestions, critique, feedback, and reviews. See the whole entire book at my web site thebackgroundofanne.yolasite.c… (This is just 10 pages of the book.) Send me emails at annehill310@yahoo.com
This book is ©annehill 2015.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014:

Yesterday (on Tuesday, January 28th, 2014) I saw Mötley Crüe walk into their "Press Conference" at the "Roosevelt Hotel" and I saw them play on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” But I don’t want to write about that right now, I’ll write about that later. Right now I want to take some time to write about how kinky I am and how open-minded I can be when it comes to sex (with Nikki Sixx, of coarse duh). I have been fantasizing lately about having sex in a chair. Nikki is in a wooden chair with his legs spread wide open. I’m sitting on his lap with my legs wide open also. He is having sex with me and I’m tied to him on the chair with rope. That is my current sex fantasy and it’s getting good. I apologize to you if you have reading this book and not liking what you here. This book is very open and honest and there are a lot of sexual references here. 4) Do you moan? Oh yeah, I would moan having sex with Nikki. I would just love to scream the fucking roof off to be honest with you! And if you don’t like it I can shut up. 4) What is a secret fantasy that you have that you hardly talk about? Yeah, I heard Nikki Sixx likes pissing. I wish I could be near him when he whips it out because, I want to see it BAD. And I’ve already seen his puppet on the Internet so many times!

Honestly, I don’t know what I’m more bummed out about right now. Nikki Sixx’s wedding in March of this year or Mötley Crüe breaking up. If I think about both things, they will fucking bum me out. I told you, I’m IN LOVE with Nikki Sixx and since he is now a “married man;” have been ELIMINATED. I need a more powerful vibrator. I am sick and tired of my weekday morning routine of getting up really early to (you know). As far as pursuing my “sexual toy list” goes, it’s last priority because money is VERY tight. I need to worry about getting tickets for the final tour too. You know I was just thinking this is something that I have that Courtney doesn’t have; I like heavy metal. I don’t know if she likes heavy metal? I don’t think she does. If she does, then great.

I feel that I need to share this, another thing that really gets me personally about Nikki is that he wrote pretty much all those fantastic songs for his band, Mötley Crüe. The fact that he wrote “Kickstart my Heart” and that it was about him, and that it is one of the greatest rock songs of all time. I think that’s something really beautiful about him that he has written songs like that. And he wrote “Home Sweet Home”, that really makes me have feelings for him. I just think overall that he’s a really great person. He amazes me so.

So I heard Nikki Sixx is possibly having his honey moon right after his marriage, I’m on the other end here thinking “Damn, I deserve that, not her!” Yeah I get really twisted sometimes! I heard the little spats they get in, I heard she tells him what to do. Baby, come get it while it’s hot because, I would NOT be like that towards you. I would give you the funniest sex life you’ll EVER have! I love Nikki Sixx, and I can say this knowing that I’ve felt this way ever since I first say you. This has been my life’s philosophy, because I began my life with falling in love with you. By seeing your picture, by listening to your music, reading about you, and so on and so on. My life’s dream is to have you tell me, “I love you” back and of coarse to have sex (or make love, as we all know it).

Is having too much in common a bad thing? Damn, I hope not because we do have a lot in common. I know you want that DIVERSITY in your life. I get that. Part of my attraction to you is the fact that I’m short and your tall, and you’re Italian. These are all true factors, that make my attraction to you work. But don’t get me wrong, I also am attracted to your personality very much. Did you know this? I’ll wait 5 more years to have you. I’ll wait 10 years; dammit all I LOVE you baby! As I mentioned, the fact that I am short and that your tall is part of my attraction. What is ironic is that actually I want to be taller. I admit, I also love Nikki Sixx’s hair AND HIS GOATEE. I think the 80’s hair is what was the initial spark. This is a fact, I first saw Nikki Sixx in his “Shout At The Devil” outfit. I like Nikki Sixx’s hair anyway he puts it, I know in the late 90’s he cut it shorter, I know all the different things he has done with his hair. In every way, he always looks fucking handsome. You know I’m unique for a kid, and I’m fucking special in my musical tastes. I’m like a rock ‘n’ roll guy, but I’m crazy over Nikki Sixx. And I am a girl and not a guy. I am a cross between a rock ‘n’ roll kind of man and a woman in love. Isn’t that right?

I’ll be honest with you; my attraction to Nikki Sixx feels more like “animal magnetism” than anything else. My attraction to him is very lustful. There are both physical and mental components to my attraction, making it a very healthy attraction. The only problem I have here is that I CAN’T FUCKING HAVE HIM! I’ve told you before; I love his fucking voice! There is something about his voice; my mind tends to associate with sex, sex, sex. I don’t know why, it’s something my brain does, I guess. Not all the time though, only when he talking about upbeat things. I’m a wild “Crüehead”? I’m more than that baby! I’m going to be the next rockstar and I suck at playing guitar. Well anyhow, I like to be honest, and I don’t mean any harm by this at all. I mean just the opposite, I mean love! Yes, you can call me the female side of Nikki Sixx and I’ll be all right with that. Guess what pal, I KNOW IT. I feel as if my body is pulling me in towards him, but my conscience is resisting because, I know he is in a relationship, he is engaged, and he will be married soon, and so on and on and on and on. And I am aware of my age. YOU KNOW WHAT I DO NOT WANT TO BE JUDGED BY MY AGE. Sorry, I really hate that when people do that kind of shit. I’d rather be judged for my intelligence. It’s like I know it’s wrong to be in love with him. That’s exactly what’s going on. Isn’t it? And you know what? I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM! Seriously, I hope it’s not wrong.

If I had the choice to get any magical powers, I would chose to be able to make myself fly or make myself invisible. You know if I could fly, I would stalk Nikki (and be getting away with it)! Thank god I can’t fly! And If I could make myself invisible, you know I would walk into the men’s bathroom to see Nikki’s thing. Thank god I can’t do that either! Another reason why I would like to fly, is that it would be convenient for certain situations and I could just fly above Nikki’s head if I wanted too. I think that would be so much fun! But you know what I do have? The power of writing, the power of the written word baby! I need another hug from Nikki, I swear, a good fucking hug. I nice squeeze. The first hug, as I stated, was partially sexual. Ha! You know a hug is a hug, and it means all the same thing unless you’re faking it. I love hugs, if I am receiving them from Nikki that is. Mmmm… Yeah, I’ll get another hug, and I’ll get addicted to “Sixx hugs.” And then I’ll crave another hug from him? What the fuck? Another thing is that I realize, I don’t know if this is true, I may be starting to become somewhat of a sex addict. And I have not even had sex yet, at least with a human being, I have not. Actually, you know what I like it. I like being myself and if this what makes me happy; I’m grateful. I’m okay as long as I don’t get dependent on it. Yes, I know I’m a “Nikki Sixx addict.” I knew that A LONG TIME AGO. All I ever think about most of the time is fucking Nikki Sixx really hard. And of coarse I am a nice loving human being too, but you have to realize when we’re honest, you hear that the truth is UGLY. And I do think about Nikki Sixx banging me most of the time. I think about going down on him also most of the time. In regards to penetration and oral sex goes, what’s the big deal? Yes I understand it’s your “private parts” going into my “private parts.” In regards to “STDs,” I guess you just get tested, is that all? Okay, sex may be ALL I think about most of all. I am still a romantic person, I can be really giving, I could write poetry about Nikki, give him the world, save him from disaster, I love Nikki Sixx with all my heart. I hope you fucking realize that. Here’s something else you also may not know about me; I’m actually really sensitive (of coarse baby, I’m a girl). By the way, sometimes, when I do fantasize about sex, I will think about it as affection. If I were to really have sex with Nikki, it would be like affectionate and stuff like that. I mean the sex is usually like a form of love. Love is the opposite of violence; yeah hopefully it is.

Now I’ll start telling my story about my adventure yesterday. When I came home yesterday, I posted this on Twitlonger; “I started off my adventure by waiting for Mötley Crüe to arrive to their press conference this morning. They arrived after a funeral procession band walked down Hollywood Blvd eventually reaching to where we were at. I ate at El Pollo Loco. I went to Rite Aid to but batteries and earplugs (which we would not even use). Then I went to Amobea Music. Then we went to the JKL Live set, saw the line. Then I went to the Pizza Place, Stefano’s. Then my Dad and I went back to see them warm-up. I sat on the ground in my high heels. Got back up again and we walked across the street. I was wearing platform high heels to increase my height, wearing zoomies to see up close; I was standing behind a peakhole with a short man in front of me. Nikki Sixx really put out on that stage. This was so worth it. All the fucking pain the high heels caused my feet and everything. I was moaning “ouch” repeatedly by the time it was over with. All worth it to get a great view of Nikki Sixx playing his bass. My Dad has halfway decent pictures and a video of what we saw. Thank you Nikki Sixx, Vince Neil, Tommy Lee, and Mick Mars for such a fantastic show tonight at JLK Live.” I hope this basically tells you about my adventure. There was nothing like seeing Nikki Sixx shaking his body on that stage. The high heels were that painfully Nikki; I almost ate my own feet! My feet nearly killed me yesterday! You know it was all worth it for me to see you play on that stage. There’s nothing like true love; me walking down the streets in high heels, having to hold onto my Dad’s shoulder for balance, and standing there in pain to view you play. Now I think that’s true love. And today my feet are still not the same. In case nobody read this, I have a special message for Mötley Crüe that I posted on Twitlonger, “Thank you Nikki Sixx, Vince Neil, Tommy Lee, and Mick Mars for such a fantastic show tonight at JLK Live. I wish you guys all the best in your retirement and on your farewell tour.” You know I only wish the best for you guys, you’re my heroes. And another thing is that I grew up listening to your music, when I was younger, you guys must have been the very first rock band I ever heard. I hope Nikki Sixx will read this one-day. I hope he reads just enough, he doesn’t have to read this whole book. I hope Nikki’s friends will tell him about it or something of that nature. Man he better read this, I swear. I love him. I also tweeted this last night; “I was sexually excited by Nikki Sixx earlier today and tonight at the concert.” And this, “One day I have a chance with him cause I love him and he feels that way sort of back, he loves his fans.” And this, “Oh yeah and I’ll never forget when he hugged me. It’s just been about 6 months since we last talked.” And this, “I hope we will like me back when I release my book.” And this, “I admire him, I adore him, I emulate him, I don’t why why either.” And this, “School tomorrow, oh well. I want to see Mötley Crüe ASAP on the Farewell Tour again. I love you Nikki Sixx.” I thought that would be an interesting thing for you to read. I’m not that bad, trust me, I think you already know. I am @annehill310 on Twitter. I also ended up telling two people at school about last night today. I told my former math teacher, Mr. Chuckie and my “study skills teacher,” Mr. Ronald. When I told Mr. Chuckie Mötley Crüe was “retiring and doing their last tour,” he turned around and rubbed his hand in a closed fist by his eye. He was facetiously pretending to cry. I think that bummed him out, he was pretty shocked. I also told him to look it up on “Google.” Mr. Ronald already knew about Mötley Crüe breaking up because, of all the press they have been getting. Don’t forget I listen to all the “Sixx Sense!” I think I’m done writing for today. Oh yeah and I forgot to tell you, I really like Nikki’s different laughs. He drvies me crazy on that Sixx Sense radio show.

No, I am not done writing yet. I just wanted to say, Nikki if you may be shy about having sex with me because, you think you’re too old or you might not satisfy me. Don’t worry about it. I don’t think your like that though. But even if you don’t think you can do me well, you might be surprised. I don’t care if you think your puppet’s size. I’m telling you brother; you’re just fine. I’m writing this just in case.
 
I had to write an essay for my English final. I have a writing mantra when it comes to “creative stories” on how to write them. You write ugly (inappropriately) and then you make it nice (you make it appropriate) for school. So below I will be displaying 2 versions of this essay. The original “uncensored version” and then the revised “censored version.” When I turned in this essay to my “English teacher,” I turned it in substituting Nikki Sixx’s name for “Frank” (his original name) and I also substituted Mötley Crüe for “Saints of Los Angeles”. I also had to do other minor changes. My Dad told me to cover my tracks so she would never be able to figure out specifically who I was talking. And I aced the thing man. I full credit, 25 points. I turned in the “censored version” to my teacher, with the substituted changes. Instead of “Meeting A Rockstar”, I changed the title to “Meeting Frank.” I won’t be including this version of the essay, I don’t think it will be necessary. The stories are ENTIRELY fictional. And the drug and alcohol references were just included in my “uncensored story” to get the creative juices flowing. I don’t do drugs or alcohol.

My Trip to Hollywood (ORIGINAL UNCENSORED ESSAY)

WARNING – EXPLICIT SEXAUL CONTENT (AND DRUGS)!

“What is a sex fantasy? “A sexual fantasy, also called an erotic fantasy, is a mental image or pattern of thought that stirs a person’s sexuality and can create or enhance sexual arousal.” – Wikipedia. A sex fantasy is basically a “sexual pipe dream” that you have when you think of someone special. And you think of having sex with that person because you love them, and since we’re all animals, we all want to fuck.

It’s November 2014 and I am excited to take a break from school! The first three months of school have completely drained me. I jump into my red Ferrari Testarossa and I speed across the freeway straight to Hollywood. I’m headed to the Sunset Strip, which is Hollywood’s classic rock ‘n’ scene. Hollywood is a vivid city with neon lights, buildings, and clubs. I get off the freeway on the Sunset Strip exit, blasting Mötley Crüe music in my car. I drive through Beverly Hills, eventually reaching the Sunset Strip. I’m here to see Aerosmith play at the House of Blues.

I enter the show to see Aerosmith and I am suddenly surprised when I see my rockstar idol standing next to me, Nikki Sixx from Mötley Crüe. I talk to him during the whole entire show as we enjoy the music. After the show, he takes me to the “Cravings” restaurant for dinner. Nikki Sixx orders a beer and gets a little bit drunk so, I have to drive him to his house in Calabasas in my red Ferrari. As I drive, Nikki smiles at me telling me how much fun he’s had tonight at the concert and at the dinner.

I blast some good “Ozzy’s Boneyard” (Sirius XM Station) on the way to his house in Calabasas. When we park in his garage, he tells me that he’s too drunk to get out of the car. I replied telling him, “But you won’t be staying here alone baby.” There’s no more talking to do, it’s time for me to go in for the gold. I immediately start unbuttoning his pants as he gives me this devious smile. Then to his surprise I start performing oral sex on him. He tells me that he’s having a really great night tonight and he wishes that everyday for the rest of his life can be like this one.

The next day Nikki Sixx has a party and he gets out this stripper pole from his collection. What do you thinks gonna happen now? We’re both gonna get on that stripper pole buck-naked! After about 60 minutes of that “stripping dancing shit,” I take both of Nikki’s legs and put them over my shoulders and I suck his dick like a vacuum cleaner. After he cums, I swallow his semen also. Nikki is a sexy man, he fucked me good and I am so happy he finally broke my virginity.

The next day My Mom is doing an “antique doll show” again in Pasadena. My Dad and I are helping her set up for the doll show. When I come into the doll show to help her set up, I grab a donut from the box that is lying out near the coffee on the table. After 15 minutes passes, my Dad and I leave and start driving to this record store called, “Poo-Bahs.” When you walk into that place they’re burning incense which smells good and it goes with the environment well. All along the walls they have vintage LPs and framed photos of how their store used to look like in the past. Poo-Bahs also has these weird strange sculptures and nicky-knacks all around you, on tables, on ledges, everywhere.

After Poo-Bahs, my Dad and I arrive at the next door Guitar Center and there I see Nikki Sixx in the bass room. I run after him and I start talking to him again. “Hi, Nikki, it’s me again.” “Wow, I never thought I would run into you today, wasn’t it fun at my house yesterday.” And we go on to talk about our lives as usual. Nikki Sixx tells me that he is performing tomorrow at the Whisky A-Go-Go and that he would be happy to take me there so I can see him play with Mötley Crüe. We get all chummy again and I want to go back to his house again. So my Dad tells me to call my Mom on his cell phone asking her if it is okay. I call her leaving a message, but she doesn’t pick up right away because she is busy.

I ask my Dad if Nikki Sixx and I can go for a walk. He says, “Yes, of course, you guys can go for a walk.” So Nikki Sixx and I leave the Guitar Center place and we start walking on the sidewalks by Poo-Bahs and Guitar Center. We didn’t do as nearly as much talking as we did flirting with each other. We found a quiet street corner and we started making out where no one could see us, not even the cars that were driving behind us on the streets. Then we decided that we would come back to Guitar Center to see my Dad again. When we walk into “Guitar Center,” I ask him, “Did she say yes?” My Dad told me, “She doesn’t really feel comfortable with it but, she will let you visit his house again. She feels that you’re an adult now and that you’re old enough to be making your own decisions.”

This time my car was at home, and Nikki Sixx had his car though. So he took me to his home again and he got an erection while behind the wheel and UFO’s “Rock Bottom” was playing his car stereo. Nikki Sixx was also having a nice conversation with me about how we’re going to watch some good porn when he gets home. That really turned me on. That Nikki Sixx always knows just how to do it.

By the time he drove to his house, it was about three o’ clock in the afternoon, getting really late in the day. When I walk in his house he doesn’t hesitate to turn on the porn right away. Then we start getting really busy. We snort lots of that fine Persian cocaine to get yourselves really turned up for the best “sex session” of a lifetime. Nikki Sixx is as high as a kite, and I see that he’s humping the leather couch pillows. I tap him on the back, saying, “Hey my ass is over here.” Then he goes really hardcore “doggy style” on me. I liked it. I squeeze his balls and he starts screaming like a weasel. I handcuff him and he starts freaking out because he thinks he’s gonna go to jail. And when I ride him he gets even higher. His eyeballs look as if they are about ready to explode, like dynamite.

The day after Nikki Sixx and I wake up dazed out of our minds. Nikki tells me, “Girl you really blew my mind last night.” “Same too, you too, you really blew my mind too.” We eat some breakfast and then I watch him masturbate his dick. Later, Nikki Sixx starts practicing and then he takes me with him to Mötley Crüe’s gig at the “Whisky A-Go-Go.” The show started at 8 o’ clock at night and went on until 3 o’ clock in the morning. The crowd was great; Mötley Crüe fans are extremely dedicated to their band.

The day after I call my Dad to bring my car to Nikki’s house because, I’m moving in with him because, we’re gonna have wild crazy sex everyday! I’m his pussycat and his top-notch cat. I really lured him in. We play underneath the moonlight. He would never want my sweet love to stop.”

Meeting A Rockstar (REVISED CENSORED ESSAY)

My fantasy story takes place in an urban setting. I begin the story by getting behind the wheel. This story is entirely fictional. [This is the clean version!]

“It’s November 2014 and I am excited to take a break from school! The first three months of school have completely drained me. I jump into my red Ferrari Testarossa and I speed across the freeway straight to Hollywood. I’m headed to the Sunset Strip, which is Hollywood’s classic rock and roll scene. Hollywood is a vivid city with neon lights, buildings, and clubs. I drive off the freeway on the Sunset Strip exit, blasting Mötley Crüe music in my car. I drive through Beverly Hills, eventually reaching the Sunset Strip. I’m here to see Aerosmith play at the House of Blues.

I enter the show to see Aerosmith and I’m suddenly surprised when I see my rockstar idol standing next to me, Nikki Sixx from Mötley Crüe.  I turn around facing him, seeing his beautiful green eyes, his messy black hair, and his black goatee. I talk to him during the whole entire show as we enjoy the music. I say to Nikki, “Hello, are you Nikki Sixx?” Nikki responds to me by exclaiming, “Yes, I am Nikki Sixx. Hello.” I ask Nikki, “How’s life been treating you lately?” He answers me; “Life is delightful. I am very pleased with my Sixx Sense radio show.” “I listen to your radio show every night.” “Thank you, I truly appreciate all my listeners.”

After the show, he takes me to the “Cravings” restaurant for dinner. Nikki orders coffee and I order Coca-Cola. I drive Nikki to his house in Calabasas in my red Ferrari. As I drive, Nikki smiles at me telling me, “I had so much fun tonight at the concert and at the dinner.” I respond back to him with, “I feel good! I’m having fun too, the night is not over yet.”

I blast some good “Ozzy’s Boneyard Musi”c (Sirius XM Station) on the way to his house in Calabasas. When we park in his garage, he tells me that he’s too tired to get out of the car. Nikki tells me, “I’m so tired from the concert that I don’t want to get out of the car.” I hold his hand as he gives me this devious smile. I surprise him with a gold necklace. “Ohh! A Gold necklace, is that for me?” “Yes, this is for you. My Dad gave it to me and told me to give it to someone special when that day comes.” “Thank you, Anne.”

Nikki carries on the conversation by telling me that he’s having a really great night tonight. He wishes that everyday for the rest of his life can be like this. “I’m having a really great night tonight. I wish that everyday for the rest of my life could be like this.” “I am so happy that I found you! Being here with you is wonderful.” “I’m extremely happy that I found you too. You’ve been so nice to me.” “You look content.” “I am content. I’m falling asleep.” Nikki yawns.

The next day Nikki throws a pool party. Nikki and I both have great fun swimming together and half the time all we did was splash each other. We dry off and go in the house, and he shows me some of his skills on the bass guitar in his living room. I cheered him on as he played the “Primal Scream” riffs, which made me feel happy. I screamed out to him, “Woo!” I told him that I think he’s adorable, he thanked me and smiled at me. “I think that you’re adorable.” “Thank you Anne.”

The next day my Mom is doing an “antique doll show” again in Pasadena. My Dad and I are helping her set up for the doll show. When I come into the doll show to help her set up, I grab a donut from the box that is lying out near the coffee on the table. After 15 minutes pass, my Dad and I leave and start driving to this record store called, Poo-Bah.

When I walk in Poo-Bah Records, they are burning incense which smells good and it goes with the environment well. All along the walls they have vintage albums and framed photos of how their store used to look like in the past. Poo-Bah is also decorated with strange sculptures, nicky-knacks, and stickers all around you, on the tables, on the ledges, and everywhere else. Poo-Bah Records is a small building in Pasadena; they sell rare and/or collectable cds and vinyl.

After Poo-Bah Records, my Dad and I arrive at the next door Guitar Center. There I see Nikki Sixx in the bass room. I run after him and I start talking to him again. “Hi, Nikki, it’s me again.” “Wow, I never thought I would run into you today, wasn’t it fun at my house yesterday?” We go on and talk about our lives as usual. Nikki tells me that he’s performing tomorrow at the “Whisky A-Go-Go.” He tells me that he would be happy to take me there so I can see him play with Mötley Crüe.

“I’m performing tomorrow at the “Whisky-A-Go-Go.” I would be more than happy to drive you there so you can see me play onstage with Mötley Crüe.” “Yes! Can you please take me there? I would love to see you play!” Nikki and I get friendly with each other again and I want to go back to his house. My Dad tells me to call my Mom on my cell phone to ask her if it is okay. “Call your Mom on your cell phone to ask her if it okay to go back to Nikki’s house.” I call her leaving a message. She could not pick up the phone right away because, she is busy at the doll show. I ask my Dad, “Can Nikki and I go for a walk?” He says to us, “Yes, of course, you guys can go for a walk.”

Nikki and I leave Guitar Center and we start walking on the sidewalks by Poo-Bah Records and Guitar Center. After a short while, Nikki and I decided that we would come back to Guitar Center to see if my Dad contacted my Mom. I walk into Guitar Center with Nikki and I ask him, “Did she say yes?” My Dad tells me, “She doesn’t really feel comfortable with it but, she will let you visit his house again. She feels that you’re an adult now and that you’re old enough to be making your own decisions.”

I reply to my Dad saying, “Okay, Nikki can take me home now.” Nikki joyfully shouts, “Yes!” This time my car was at home and Nikki is taking me home in his car. He took me to his home again and he started singing to UFO’s “Rock Bottom” which was playing on his car stereo. Nikki was also having a nice conversation with me about how we’re going to watch some good movies when we get home. “I can’t wait to watch some good movies with you. It’ll be intense.” I tell him, “I am so excited right now, I can’t wait to get home and watch those movies!”

By the time he drove to his house, it was about three o’clock in the afternoon, which was really late in the day. When I walk into his house, he does not hesitate to turn on the movie “Horrible Bosses” right away. I sat down with him to watch the movie. He brought me some popcorn and “Dr. Pepper” soda. Nikki was drinking Mountain Dew soda (which has a lot of caffeine) and he started acting super wacky. He jumps on the couch and shouting like an elephant. That made me laugh. I see a look in his eyes, that he is ready to explode like dynamite. Then I start acting like him and suddenly we hear the doorbell ring “Ding-Dong”, which scared us! Nikki opens the door only to see the pizza delivery guy. He was at the wrong address because, nobody ordered pizza. Nikki just took the pizza box right out of his hands anyway and he cried out, “Pizza!”

The next morning Nikki and I eat some breakfast and listen to Black Sabbath on his stereo. After three o’clock in the afternoon, Nikki is practicing for his show that he will be playing at. At six o’clock, he drives me to Mötley Crüe’s gig at the “Whisky A-Go-Go.” I’m backstage waiting for the band to go on, and then I will be able to blend in with the audience to watch him play onstage. The show started at eight o’clock at night and went on to three o’clock in the morning. The crowd was great. Mötley Crüe fans are extremely dedicated to their band.

The day after I call my Dad to bring my car to Nikki’s house because, I’m moving in with him. “Dad you need to drive my Ferrari Testarossa to Nikki’s house because, I’m moving in with him” “You’re moving in with him? Wow!” “I know, it will be fabulous! I just need to have my car back.”

Nikki told me he finds it enjoyable to spend time with me and that I am just marvelous. “I really find it enjoyable spending time with you. I think you’re a marvelous girl.” “Thank you for your compliments, you make me feel good.” Over the last four days, I have found him to be really captivating. I can’t get away from his radiance. I respect him, no matter what he does. I feel just like the way Priscilla Presley felt when she met Elvis Presley in 1959!”

I included both essays to see which essay you would like better and so you can compare them. I mean, the stories are the same but different in themes. Let me explain how I “substituted” drugs, sex, and alcohol references. I substituted oral sex for a gold necklace, “I surprise him with a gold necklace.” I substituted beer for coffee and cocaine for Mountain Dew. I substituted bachelorette party for pool party; “The next day Nikki throws a pool party.” During the writing process in the final draft, I had substituted getting stoned for the word “content.” I substituted porn for movies, in particular, the movie “Horrible Bosses.” It was a lot of work, but I had to do what I was going to do. I nailed this assignment! And I was writing about my sex fantasy! When I turned it in I just did a few simple switches and refered to Nikki Sixx as Frank. My story is partially based on true events, in November 2009; I went to San Fransico, CA. I wrote an essay about that in the seventh grade, that essay was titled, “My Trip to San Fransico.” This was my opening line for that essay, “It was November 2009 and I am excited to take a break from school! The first three months of school have completely drained me.” My Mom does attend Antique Doll shows in Pasadena, CA occasionally. My Dad and I do visit Poo-Bah Records and Guitar Center in Pasadena, CA (of course we do, how would I know about it otherwise). I hoped you liked at least one of my essays. Doesn’t it serve as an example of how strong my feelings are for Nikki?

Saturday, January 25, 2014:

I did some research yesterday about snail reproduction for some reason. 1) Snails hang out by my house 2) I was just curious. 3) Marine Science class. I posted this on Twitlonger, “It’s really interesting you should read it! Snails actually get twice the pleasure when they copulate. All snails are hermaphrodite. So only call a snail an “it”, not he or she. All slugs have male parts.” You know why penises are my favorite part about nature? When I learn about animals, it’s always interesting to learn about their ways of mating. Penises are beautiful on all animals (I’m talking about the erect penis). [I know, that sounded so wrong! I didn’t mean it like that! I meant that artistically, I’m sorry!] When slugs intertwine their penises they actually glow a blue color and their penises make a flower shape. I think that’s really cool. The most appealing part of the penis is the glans (if you don’t know what that is, it’s the “tip” part of it). The genitals in general are the most interesting things to learn about. I like all no one two penises are the same. All animals have different penises including monkeys. So if I want to see your erect penis baby, there’s more reason behind than just sex, I just think it’s beautiful [artistically]. I think about it’s shape and everything, it’s amazing to me (you know the nature part of it). Write more later.

Sunday, January 26, 2014:

For the monkeys, I’m talking about the chimpanzees and the baboons. The barnacle is one marine animal that has an incredible penis; its penis can reach up to 10 feet in length. Another amazing penis in size is the one of the killer whale. When I said, alligators have permanently erect penis that they pop in and out of these sacks. Snakes have two penises. The echidna has a four-headed penis. These are all facts I already knew. Now you should know what I mean when I say in nature that no two penises are the same. This is why they are so fascinating. Even in humans, no two penises are really the same. We have showers, growers, vertical penises, horizontal penises, and it goes on. Now let me go more specifically into the snail reproduction story. Snails’ stab each other with love darts, basically needles that pop out their body. And if that needle stabs an organ, that snail dies, so snails are masochistic. Then the snails’ penises get erect, but snails do get twice the pleasure than what we do because, they are hermaphrodite. I’ll explain; the snails insert their penises into their vaginas. Can you get a picture of that? One penis is going inside one vagina simultaneously while the other snail’s penis is being inserted into the other snail’s vagina. Now do you get it? They get TWICE the pleasure. No fair!

Sunday, January 26, 2014:

When I orgasm I feel like someone hit me with a crow bar. I’m so kinky. I’m probably kinkier than Nikki Sixx is or at least about the same! Nikki and I would be a good pair because I’m more than 100% sure that I could sexually satisfy him. Give him a better sex life than what he has now. I [play around twice] and then I feel like I’m up in the sky. Getting an orgasm is getting high, and that’s the bottom line. And yes is it oh so NICE! I’m kind of like Kyle from the Sixx Sense, I watch a lot of that stuff, but I don’t really watch it that often. When I do, I watch a lot of it.

Moving on to the fact that I’m young, I NEVER wished that to be at this time. I was born in 1997, but if I were born 1977, I wouldn’t have missed all the great things that happened with Mötley Crüe in the 1980’s! I can’t change that, so don’t be looking down on me. Look down upon other people, but don’t do that shit to me. I’m becoming a legal adult, which is a GREAT thing for me right now. I still make GOOD DECISIONS like an adult should. I’ve gotten a lot of flack from Twitter users recently about my age, and I’m just putting this out there. When I do have my legacy at 30, I want it to be good one not a bad one! When I get there I get there. I’m just fine for now, rather be too young than too old! I hope that Nikki you won’t be discriminating against me either. That’s not good period! I’m very smart too and if I get smarter as I get older, so what. I’m not Justin Bieber.

Remember that sexual “virginity-breaking stuffed animal idea” from Wednesday, January 15th, 2014? I’m NOT doing that anymore at all. Total change of plan for me to “lose my virginity.” That idea was stupid anyway, don’t you think so? I think so! I’m “breaking my virginity” through the “Sybian” now, but NOT the real “Sybian.” What you know as the “Sybian” costs WAY too much money for me to be able to afford. What I am doing now is “breaking my virginity” through a bunch of good-ass dildos. I am constructing a sex kit VERY SIMILAR to the “Sybian,” and I can afford it. First, I have to purchase this thing called the “Liberator Bon-Bon Sex Toy Mount.” It is A LOT of work but I feel it may be worth it! Before I do that though, I plan on purchasing two other sexual items because, I feel that they are more important to me right now. One I think may be what they call a “restraint” and the other one is what they call a “pump.” It’s a certain type of pump, and I don’t know that if I should tell you, but I am because, I’m starting to fall into that trap. I feel I don’t need to start writing about “vagina anatomy,” but I need these straps, and these straps do something very specific. Dammit Nikki, I know you know all about the clitoris and so you were talking about it on the Sixx Sense recently. Great! That’s a good thing! Pat on the back to you, congratulations!

I still want to come up with a way we can have sex with our cars, since the car is our utmost personal possession. [NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!] I am going to come up with this way you can have sex in your car seat. AND do not steal my idea and profit from it! You have a plastic box, much like a car seat. There is door that opens. And out comes the dildo (for the women) or the flesh light (for you guys). I would get a plastic hollow box with a door cared into it. I would get another one of those “Liberator Bon-Bon Sex Toy Mounts” and then I would pop the dildo in it. When you open the door, then you can see the dildo. Some how that box will have to be firmly secured to the car seat so, it does not move. That is my vision people, sexual pleasure in your car, from your car. So Nikki now you know about my sex life so you don’t have to ask me about it. [I don’t have a real “sex life,” do I?] And I’m seeing Nikki Sixx in just two days from now, this Tuesday (January 28th) on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” I will be standing outside the fence because the tickets are sold out. Hopefully, it will be fun. I have my zoomies binoculars so I can see Nikki Sixx really well. I’ll also be taking pictures and recording at least one movie. I have to get ready for this event all tomorrow and I will also be leaving school at 12:00 PM on Tuesday. I can’t wait for it. I’m ready to see him again in person. It’s always better that way! I hope one day he changes his mind and decides that he wants to fuck me. Change it now, seriously I’m worth it. Come on now. Maybe we can be in a relationship together and the media will shit on us. But you know what baby, when the media [will probably] shit on us, we’ll shit on them back! I’m really craving another hug from Nikki right now. Like he says, “you take a taste of me and then you’ll never get away.” That’s so true baby. For my first car, I still want to get a Ferrari replica (I know a counterfeit Ferrari, how cool)! I either want to get a Ferrari Spider or a Ferrari California. I am never sure in my decision yet. I will pay my dues and become a good driver first. That way I know what I’m doing and I won’t get a bunch of tickets or wind up like “the Bieb.” I also was thinking about taking a tour at the Ferrari factory, if I could! That would be a nice adventure! Bye for now.

I just want to say one more thing tonight. I was on Facebook and Twitter looking at some posts that made me think of something, that I was looking recently. I just want to let you people know, and most importantly let you know, that I think Nikki Sixx is a beautiful human begin inside and out. I amazed by his compassion and his empathy that he holds inside of his heart. So I hope that made you feel good about yourself.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014:

I’m doing an another stereotypical entry in this book right now because; I felt it was an emergency. I am pretty depressed right now about a lot of things, mostly having to deal with my English teacher tomorrow. You see; her and I don’t get along anymore. I’ve been with her since last Friday. My English teacher me cry twice this school year, once last year (was) and she made me cry again on Friday, January 10th, 2013. It’s a shame because I gave her a card for the holidays this year and we were getting along well. I know that if she can make me cry once, and now twice, that there will be a third and possibly a fourth time. So as far as I’m concerned out relationship ended last Friday. And I confess that we both like David Bowie so to make myself feel better, I wore a David Bowie shirt on Monday. I’m into David Bowie also so that was my reason for wearing the shirt. And by the way, I’m not sixteen years old anymore; I celebrated my Birthday on January 2nd, 2014, so I am seventeen now. Now here’s what’s going on inside my head right now, and it will shock you. I realize Nikki is not the same person anymore as he was when he was younger. That can be good and bad for me. As people get older, that shadow of their youth fades away. I wonder if youth just fades away from them in general? Yeah, that’s right, me, I wonder if I will be able to really talk to him in the future and make a good connection with him again? I’m questioning myself. So this is weird, I have been fantasizing about the younger Nikki Sixx an awful lot. I mean him in 1981, the really young Nikki Sixx; yeah I guess him closer to my age. Here’s the problem; I like the raggedy clothes, his platform shoes, his hair, his body, and so on. So my head is all over the place right now. You know what, I like this kind of writing but, I hate school writing. I hate writing in school; it just isn’t the same. The flow of creativity and ideas just isn’t the same because I’m not motivated at all. I’m only motivated to write if it’s a topic that I’m interested in. You know what else is really weird right now; I have a poster of the Ferrari logo up on my wall. You know the black stallion horse behind the yellow background, and on top are the green, white, and red stripes (for the Italian flag). Sometimes I think about that horse, in very weird ways. And here’s another thing for you to chew on; I am really upset about the word “virginity” and what I means. I want to break my virginity, so I can let go the fact that there’s a stereotypical image with the word “virgin.” Damn right there is a stereotype that is directly linked with that word, and I don’t want to be that person. There’s an untouched, good girl, innocent image that goes with the word “virgin.” And I’m not stupid enough not to pick up on that. And I am uncomfortable with that. “Virgin” can also be used as a term to coin musicians that have not hit the big time yet or when an individual is first introduced to a new skill in life. Everything about this word “virgin” just frustrates me so much like you wouldn’t believe. And guys like think you’re “fresh out of the womb.” I can’t realistically break my virginity by its defining standards, but there is something that I can do to break the mental illusion of being a virgin. Some people think virgins are girls who have never been “penetrated” down there, got news for you; we’ve got dildos! If I think if it that way, it kind of makes me feel better, but really most people do not think of it that way at all. By definition standards, a “virgin” is someone who has never engaged in sexual intercourse; I’m sure they mean male to female copulation. I know this can be frustrating for gay people too. In the most bizarre way I plan on breaking my “virginity” and the mental illusion of the stereotype that comes with it. To “engage in sexual intercourse” you have to be having sex with a human partner. Oh come on, right? Well my solution to this puzzle is the make the partner, not human, but almost human. This is where I’m getting down to here, have you ever fantasized about a fictional character? Yes, No? I think it’s mostly the people who watched a lot of cartoons or have read a lot of comic books. Other fictitious characters may exist as mascots or in movies, in artwork, and so on. Well, if you can bring that character to life, I believe that character may be close enough to be human to you and you only. You can feel that way about it mentally. For me that character is the Tex Avery wolf, from Tex Avery’s “MGM cartoons” in the 1940’s. I do have a plan to bring that character to life, by making my own 6 foot tall life-size stuffed animal of that wolf. But I learned yesterday that’s going to really expensive; costs like over $200 to get all the materials together. What I was planning on is buying a strap-on harness dildo, and putting it on the life-size stuffed animal of that wolf. No, seriously like for real. So my strategy to getting this “virginity” off my mind is to make your own, or have your own, customized sex doll? Yeah, I guess that’s basically what I’m saying. What you know I’m in a situation, one of those situations. Where I have a celebrity crush and he’s getting married. I don’t want to fuck anyone else but him! So there’s nothing else for me to do with my “virginity!” So now I’m left with a choice either get the materials together for my wolf or do something else with my time. I can’t afford to spend $200 dollars (not all at once, at least) to build my stuffed animal. This is where the other character comes in, a car. You know damn right that Ferrari Testarossa is a beautiful car. And I would screw that car if I could and don’t you dare laugh at me. I don’t care if you do. See I told you this is all very bizarre. I can’t afford a car either, so what I’m going to have look into a getting a stuffed plush version of this car. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, “what the fuck man?” I think this is cheaper and I’d rather break my virginity with the Testarossa anyway. You know all I want to do is shatter a stereotype and mentally be able to think like my virginity is already broken. Yes, I know this got real weird. I think this “sex” will be a lot of fun. This is something that other people never get to do. And to do this, you have to be able to develop some type fetish for it, or else you will never be comfortable with it. I know I am going to be “having sex” with an inanimate object to be “breaking my virginity”. All I can say is that it probably works. And yes I know it’s kind of sad. Yeah I get depressed about Nikki, all the time; it hits me the hardest before I go to sleep at night. I know the 2nd semester ends on January 24th, 2014 so I have to chop-chop. I probably need to do homework this week too, like my Martin Luther King essay, and my “Marine Science” photography project. I know junior year of high school is really stressful. I want to make sure I do the assignments that are worth the most points so that I can pass my classes and/or get a good grade. And my Mom had the big screen TV on really loud, she was watching Elvis movies, so I couldn’t be on the computer and do my essay homework. Two good reasons, I couldn’t focus at all and I was tired. So I went in my room, my Mom has been cranky, so I was depressed last night. I have a computer in my room but that computer runs extremely slow. So this weekend my Dad will have to replace the computer in my room, which I may be able to get more of my homework done then. My Mom also keeps telling me she sent my English teacher an email, she told me to look at it and I didn’t want to. My teacher’s policy is that she only gives help during lunch break. Why would I even bother going to her for help ever again after she’s made me cry TWICE? I don’t even care anymore. It’s too late for excuses now. As far as I’m concerned in someone brings me to tears in their classroom, there no longer my friend anymore because, I have can’t have a positive relationship with that person anymore because, that person upsets me! So my Mom doesn’t understand why I’m stressed out.
I am seeking editing suggestions, critique, feedback, and reviews. See the whole entire book at my web site thebackgroundofanne.yolasite.c… (This is just 10 pages of the book.) Send me emails at annehill310@yahoo.com
This book is ©annehill 2015.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014:

I am addicted to looking at “cock” photos. Damn I just love it. So I’m writing a FICTIONAL story about Nikki. Just put everything you know already aside. This is fictional so I can break the rules and I can make shit up! I need to warn you that this story is probably “too erotic” for you to read. But you should just read it anyway.

WARNING – EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT

“It’s the year 2007 and Nikki Sixx is currently on his tour for “The Herion Diaries” book signing. He said “he’d never have sex again” in a recent interview. Many women want to test him to see who can make him break his “abstinence” first. I am in the line at a book signing, many other women are standing in my way and people are “blocking” my view! I get so pissed off that I pushing people over, and say, “Come on man, what is this? The fucking World Series!” I feel bad, and help them get up. I tell them, “I’m sorry, I just lost my temper.” I see this hot, beautiful, good looking, black-haired lady talk to Nikki. Immediately I run up there, and give him my copy of The Heroin Diaries  to sign. He signs my book as I interrupt her. Nikki gives me all of his attention, and says to me, “I think I lost my mind.” I make eye contact with him and I say, “I want you to watch me eat sausage.” Nikki cries, “Sausage!” “How did you know that I like it when girls eat sausage?” I told him, “I know it well. I know it all to well.” I stood there for an hour, watching Nikki sign books. I was thirteen years old. When he asked me what my age was, I told him that I’m eighteen. I look back on it now, and at that age, that was exactly what I wanted to do. Play a “simple dirty trick” to get very lucky. All it took was nobody but me to get him to break his promise of “life abstinence.” When the book signing was over, we went out on the street. On the way out I gave him a big hug. I told him that I love him and that he doesn’t need to make any more promises except a promise to always think of me. I’m in his car, after brief period of snuggling; I go down on him. The sensual smell of “rotten meat,” his white semen all over my face even in my eyes, in my throat, and in my stomach. I wrap my tongue around his tip; I love the fleshy texture on my taste buds. I remember how loud he wanted to scream when I made him cum all over his car interior. He couldn’t because he didn’t want anyone to notice us. He found out my age eventually but, that made him happier.”

Damn that was a lot of fun. I was laughing so much while writing that. Yes, when I was thirteen, I did want to be eighteen. And I did lie to some people about my age. But I never went down on anybody though. I’m sure that I had wanted to. There might be a point of irony, when I say, “he’d never have sex again” because, he really said that he’ll never get “married” again. And what is he doing right now? He’s going to get “married” again. Therefore, he broke his promise. That promise was nonsense though; I’m sure Courtney is so happy to get married to him. I would be happy too. Damn I wish it were me. By the way, I would never push people in line; I just made that a part of my story. Nikki Sixx also said he’d never fuck an “underage girl” again too. This is kind of a spin-off on that, and you know its fiction, so of coarse he’s doing just the opposite of what he really said he would do.

In my English class, my teacher has been making write a lot of fictional stories just like the one above. So I’m going to share more fictional stories with you that I wrote for school. The uncensored (original version) and the censored (edited version) of those stories that involve Nikki Sixx Remember that this is creative writing, so I write about whatever I want to write about and then I make it clean.

In the San Fernando Valley (Original Uncensored Version) FICTIONAL

“In the San Ferando Valley, there is a neighborhood off of Sunset Boulevard, houses line up together, there is one white house where Nikki Sixx lives. There he drinks booze and smokes joints. He gets high. Puffs of cigarette smoke come from his mouth cascading into the freeborn air. He is a poor fellow in his world, but not in his pockets. His house is broken. I crept into his house with him and I gave him a blowjob. He bounced up and down on the couch with his [stiffie] in my mouth. He came and shouted “ohh!” He is feeling euphoric happy. As a past time we listen to records. We were listening to Aeromsith’s “Get Your Wings Album.” Nikki fell asleep from the drugs, which made him snooze. He has a smile halfway across his face. I woke him up because, I was hungry and I wanted him to make me a fucking sandwich. He wakes up and turns on the TV. He watches the news, which makes him feel very horny. He gets his puppet out again and has sex with me. I get on top of his balls and I have his whole entire [stiffie] inside of me. He happily jumps up and down banging me. He was tripping on hash, and I was high off of his cocaine. I love him. He loves me too.”

In the San Fernando Valley (Edited Censored Version) FICTIONAL

“In the San Ferando Valley, there is a neighborhood off of Sunset Boulevard, houses line up together, there is one brown house where Nikki lives. There he consumes fizzy drinks and picks his nose. He is a cheerful young man. He watches clouds cascading in the open sky. He is a poor fellow in his world, but not in his pockets. His house is broken. I crept into his house with him. I am spellbound as I watch him shove himself onto the couch. He energetically bounces his legs up on the table. Then nothing came out his mouth. Nikki was daydreaming about the moon. As a past time we listen to records. We were listening to Aeromsith’s “Get Your Wings Album.” Nikki snoozes on the couch with a smile halfway across his face. I woke him up because, I was hungry and I wanted him to make me a sandwich. He wakes up and turns on the TV. He watches the news; he was love struck with the female newscaster. Nikki takes his shirt off. Then he checks the clock to see what time it is. We compellingly stared at each other.”

Sunday, February 9, 2014:

Okay, I’m going to tell you what my nastiest sex fantasy is. I’m warning you, I’m telling you on the risk that you might either cum or throw up. You might get so frustrated and angry with me that you might want to have a beer to calm yourself down. You know another thing they say is you might have a “sensitive stomach.” [I removed the contents from that paragraph, because I just felt that it wasn’t suitable for my audiences.] It probably feels so good that it’s almost like going to Mars. Now, I’m going to say this with hesitation, because it’s on my mind so I will say it right now. There is a physical resemblance that the clitoris has to a penis. As females, we have a clitoris, you ask yourself that logical question, “Who’s bigger?” Of course, the male’s penises are always going to be much bigger! Something is better than nothing is. On the night of Friday, February 7th, 2014 I had a dream that I saw Nikki Sixx naked. And what I imagined in my computer screen was very ‘detailed’ too. In my dream, that “puppet” looked like it was about seven inches long flaccid. His legs were really muscular also, his chest, his shoulders, and his arms. You looked “maculated.”

Yesterday (on Saturday, February 8th, 2014) I went to a “50th Wedding Anniversary” party. Unfortunately, I could not wear a dress to the event because; all of my dresses that I had bought in the past do not fit me anymore. We just assumed that. I learned today that Nikki Sixx was at a pet adoption event in San Bernardino simultaneously while I was at this other event. I am so glad I came though! I was in La Habra that isn’t that far away from where you were! I still wish I could have came though. I’m happy that I saw you on Tuesday, January 28th, 2014, at the “Mötley Crüe Press Conference” and at “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” That is good enough for me. I still miss you; I want to talk to you like right now. The “50th Wedding Anniversary” party was pretty fun, I had talked to a lot of family, most of them said they hadn’t seen me since I was a baby! Can you believe that! They were telling me about the last time they saw me, and hell I couldn’t remember it! So instead of wearing a “dress and hi-heels,” I wore a black blazer, a black and white striped sweater, black pinstripe pants, a black and white scarf, and black leather heeled boots. I looked just fine. People did like my outfit. We took my “Polaroid” digital camera there, and the screen froze. We had to use my Dad’s cell phone camera to take pictures instead; those pictures came out terrible. I asked someone to take pictures of us with their iPad camera instead, and we got our best photograph from the event that way. I have learned my lesson with digital point and shoot cameras; they’re all “undependable.” The way to go is to use your IPhone camera. And that is why I am FINALLY getting an iPhone. This event was what it took for my parents to see the light and realize why it is necessary to buy one.

My Mom will get me one. [I had to wait all the way until the Mötley Crüe concert in July 2014 to finally get one.] There are so many upsides to this purchase also; I can finally get on Instagram, and get “apps.” They make an “app” now for the “DMV test!” It’s more important than ever nowadays! I told my parents they’re getting this phone mostly for the camera!

So more about the anniversary party. The anniversary party was for my Uncle on my Mom’s side of the family. The party was a buffet, people came up to the microphone and spoke/sang, and then we had cake for dessert. [Sadly my Uncle Bob is deceased now, and my fmaily and I dearly miss him.] I’m either getting an iPhone 4S or iPhone 4, I know the iPhone 4S takes 8 megapixel pictures verses the iPhone 4 takes 5 megapixel pictures. I just talked with my Dad and I’m getting the iPhone 4S now. I have to find the cheapest one on the Internet!

You ALL know that I love Nikki Sixx. It’s not just that I love him. Well, I do not know if your nationality is really important to you Nikki. I hope that it might be because, I love Italian culture too! I love the food, the people, the cars, the architecture, the landscape, and the artists. I know for you people that drink, you love Italian wine, in fact they invented it! Greece on the other hand, I don’t know much about. Here’s what I do know about Greece; they had “loose sexual morals” in their ancient history, they have Greek gods, they also have good food like Italy, and they had notable philosophers I’m on Google Images and I see Greece has great artictecture also. I go eat at this restaurant called Chicken Dijon and they have good “Greek food.” I like their Mediterranean fires, and their tortilla with the Mediterranean sauce.

What Italian food do I like? I love pizza, pasta, lasagna, tiramisu cake, fish, bread, and there could probably be more where that came from. My Mom and I actually had tiramisu cake at the “50th wedding anniversary” yesterday. What Italian cars do I like? I love the Ferrari, of course! Others include the Lamborghini, Maserati, and Alfa Romeo. I can name two other people from Italy that I know of. Tommy Immomi of Black Sabbath, he’s one of my heroes! God bless him! And other person, I can name is the great actor Marlon Brando. There’s also Sylvester Stallone. I don’t know as much about him, but do I know a little bit about him.

Another thing I know about Italy is that Italian history isn’t glamorous! With Caesar, killing Jesus, to Mussolini’s Fascism. All history has its ugliness and along with its beauty. Oh yeah, another person I can name is legendary rock vocalist Ronnie James Dio! He is another one of my great heroes! What Italian artists do I know of? I know of the great painter Leonardo di Vinici and sculptor Michelangelo. The well-known painting by Leonardo di Vinici is the Mona Lisa. I know of three major cities in Italy also, Milan, Rome, and Venice. I also know that Italy has an island called Sicily. And I also know that Frank Zappa was part Sicilian. I know Itlay’s sport is soccer. I also like Italy’s gelatio ice cream it’s yummy! I also know that Italy’s religion is Catholicism. I know that Bruce Springsteen is of Italian ancestry. I know, I know, I know. Last but not least, I know Italian males have a reputation for being “hung like a horse.” I know of Italian horses. I know Italy has their own dog breeds including, the Saint Bernard, the Italian Greyhound, the Neapolitan Mastiff, the Bracco Italiano, the Segugio Italiano, the Volpino Italiano, the Cirneco dell’Etna, the Lagotto Romagnolo, the Bergamasco Sheperd, the Bolognese, the Spinone Italiano, the Cane Corso, and the Maremma Sheepdog. I think I listed all of them. I think that’s all I have for today.

Friday, February 7, 2014:

My dad and I were having a conversation yesterday about Nikki. My dad when he was watching the “Mötley Crüe Press Conference” and he noticed that you are “picky” when it comes to looks. I knew this already about you obviously. I have my good points and my bad points when it comes to looks. I’ve been flexing my arms a lot lately ever I saw Nikki’s guns onstage on Tuesday, January 28th, 2014. Another good thing I have going for me is that I’m very kinky. I know that there are a lot of women like me out there. Trust me, we can have fun together Nikki. You’ll see.

I’ve been on Google a lot this past week and I noticed that the skinny boys have the “biggest dicks!” So for me physical attraction is really how big your bones are. Adult bones have already grown fully. And I’m still developing too. Like the rib cage for example, I think that will increase in size as an adolescent grows into an adult. Height is a good for thing for me also. I think bones do affect physical strength and it certainly affects the “physical body structure. It may be what establishes the difference between identifying adults” and adolescents most of the time. However, I’m not completely sure about this so I may be wrong. Bone development doesn’t affect your penis though. Your penis is a “totally different animal.” The penile erection is depended on your blood flow and muscle tissue.

Nikki I don’t really care about the size of your dick that much. All that matters is you got one! It can always get bigger by using other means! Only if you want to. Honestly, do I like big dicks though? Actually, yes I do. Thinking outside the box, maybe Nikki Sixx wouldn’t want a “kinky” woman? If he doesn’t that’s okay, then I won’t be like that with him. I do mean everything I say for the most part; I’m not a liar. Nikki I’m going to do everything to look my best for you and I hope that you’ll like it. Come on man? You’re a “bad ass,” “buff,” “lean man!” I know you are! Don’t you want to [stick] your [“tool”] inside of this little girl? I may be like physically opposite of you and Tommy. But isn’t that hot Nikki? Come on just think about it! Really! I know I’m doing the he’s tall; I’m short thing. I know it’s a “cliché” but isn’t still hot anymore? I know those are two REALLY BAD things about my body, that I’m not “tone” and I have “poor cleavage” in my breasts.
One day I’ll solve those problems, when I care about it. The only thing I can do is tell Nikki to stop it, if he’s THAT “picky” about my looks. But that won’t work, it’ll just create “negative feelings” from him towards me. But I just told you anywise, didn’t I? Another great thing about me is that I’m not a bitch, well for the most of the time.

How come you can’t have sex with me, seriously Nikki? Yeah I know your married now reading this, aren’t you? Yes I know that I’m like one of those “freaky groupies” from the 80’s, always wanting to fuck Nikki. But I’m not as “freaky” as they were. I’m normal or at least I think I am? A “mental challenge” for me is my Autism. That can be a “hot button” sometimes. My Autism is not really a “bad thing” though! Don’t try to even think that it is. Hey, it’s not my fault that I have it. I just have it that’s all. You know something I just thought about?

Maybe my breasts are still growing and I’ll have more “cleavage” between them when I get older. I wish I had it now though, that would be nice! You know that I’m on Google right now looking up “adolescent physical development” and I looked at some diagrams. I think that I’m totally right about the “bones developing into adulthood.” I know that I’m right. This will help you “solve the puzzle” as to why I’m attracted to adults rather than people in my own age range [which is teleiophilia]. So I hope that you understand it now and that you have a clearer picture. It’s mutual because, I think that my bones might still be growing too. I don’t know for sure. It’s something difficult to figure out unless I have research to back up my answer. I think that right now for the most part I’m done growing physically. I said “for the most part!” That means I really don’t know the details about it. I typed in “how long do girls grow” on Google and the cutoff age is usually 17. Another web site says that we can grow until we’re 20. I get very “mixed information” but, I know the process of human development pretty well now. I was looking at some photos of other women, yes and I noticed some women are like me and have “poor cleavage” but still have “nice size boobs.” I guess that’s okay, right? Are our boobs just not big enough? Now I’m confused.

I know that some people are reading this and you guys are starting to think that I’m a “whore” or a “slut.” Now don’t you dare “label me,” you know I don’t like “labels.” Just because I’m a little bit different than everyone else, it does not mean you guys can call me these names. And I’m like going to be okay with it and have you get away with it. You’re wrong. Nikki says it’s okay to be different, and I know that some of you people out there don’t agree with him, or do you? If a guy can talk about women, his own penis, he can talk about pussy, his “sex toys,” his “sex life,” or whatever he so desires to talk about. Listen, if he can get away with that then I can get away with what I’m talking about. And I don’t deserve to be called out for it. Look, I know its going to happen one day, I can see into the future, it’s inevitable, and I’m just addressing this right now. I’m a “mature adult” now and I know this is mostly “adult stuff” that I write about. I don’t behave like a “whore” or a “slut,” okay, so don’t be the judge. And look man, if I do then so what! I’m a good person and I do have morals, just so you know. “Society” still has lower standards for women than men. Women are still expected to behave and think a certain way that is different from the way men do. That’s not “equal.” And if you’re being “sarcastic,” “joking around,” or “getting pleasure” from it that’s just fine. But I’m talking about the people who “label” and “judge” man that sucks! By the way people, just because I included “pleasure” as an exception, it’s still not okay if you “get pleasure” from “labeling” or “judging.” No, that’s not okay if you’re doing it to be mean and you “get pleasure” from that. That wasn’t the kind of “pleasure” that I was talking about. I’m talking about “positive pleasure,” “sexual pleasure.” You know I used to have to put up with people calling me “trash” in the past. It isn’t very fun, trust me. I’m just being INCREIBLY honest in this book, and that’s all there is to it.

I forgot to mention I just started reading Tommylandlast Wednesday! I like your introduction Tommy, that made me laugh and I know you put a lot of your heart and soul into it also. It was a beautiful thing to read. I think my book is a lot like “Tommyland,” in ways it can be. This book is probably more like Tommylandthan Nikki Sixx’s books. I told Tommy I would probably read his book when I met him, so I have now. And I think it’s great so far. My book is actually really similar, couldn’t be? I know Sweet is your favorite band Nikki; they are something man. I’m growing fonder and fonder of them with every song I hear! I tell you man, they’re one of those bands where I’d go in a “time machine” back to the 1970’s! You know I feel like this with other bands too, but Sweet really stands out to me. Man there’s “fictional characters” too that I’d bang. First starting off with the Tex Avery Wolf. I’d dress up like him; he’s my absolute favorite cartoon character! Second has to be Ed Roth’s “Rat Fink.” That dude is one one cool rat!

I just watched a video of Nikki Sixx and Courtney Bingham with a golden jar of chocolate. I liked this video; it was like a “porno” to me! I’m almost “one hundred percent sure” that she took that chocolate and spread it all over Nikki’s [fill in the fucking blank]. Because I would have done that. Spread “Hersey’s Chocolate” [all over the place]. All right, a new “sex fantasy!” And you don’t want to know what my most nasty “sex fantasy” is! The YouTube video is titled; “ValentinesDaybyHow2Girl2014” and she spread chocolate on Nikki’s arm. I see a lot of “sexual innuendoes” man; this got me excited! One of them is “whipped cream” we all know that’s an innuendo for semen. FUCK YEAH! My idea is to spread “Coca Almond Spread” from “Trader Joe’s,” it tastes better than regular “chocolate spread,” and it’s thicker. It’s in a swift sexy jar too! Go check it out, at your local “Trader Joes’s” store. It’s tastes like “chocolate sex!” [I’d] cover a banana in “chocolate” and eat it, right in front of him. Now, that’s “sexy with chocolate.” Its called “chocolate sex!” “Sexual stimulation,” you see how chocolate is becoming a “sex liquid” now? I’ve been listening to “White Lines” by Grandmaster Flash lately! I actually really like that song. I know it was really popular when it came out in 1983, my Dad told me that yesterday. I tell you, honestly, I can barely watch that video “ValentinesDaybyHow2Girl2014,” without running away from my computer and screaming! Oh now she blind folds Nikki! Holy shit! I should be doing that don’t you think so? You know what’s good about being short? I CAN GET TO HIS “PUPPET” EASIER! Hey I learned something today; Courtney Bingham likes handcuffs too. What do you know? ME TOO. I like other things too, not just hand cuffs! You know what else I like! (I like how Nikki is putting his finger in his mouth, sucking on his finger, swallowing that liquid “Hersey’s Chocolate!”) You guys act like “chocolate” is “cocaine!” You know what I did? I muted the audio to the video, and I started watching the video while listening to “White Lines.” The chocolate part was hilarious! I was laughing my ass off! Did you ever think of that velvet bag that she is holding as like holding his “puppet!” I’m really sexual, aren’t I? I love it! YOU KNOW what I’d really like to see! Yeah, I’m SURE you know.

Okay, I’m going to talk about something else now. I saw some really “impressive images of penises” on Google Images over the last week. [I’m warning you right now, this gets really dirty, and it’s a little explicit. Just so you know if you’re a guy and you’re straight, this may make you feel a little bit uncomfortable.] And this one image completely shocked me. And this guy was skinny! I was thinking “holy shit.” Usually those erections only reach to their “belly button,” but this penis reached his chest. Wow, you see there are really guys who are “hung like a horse,” it’s no myth at all. I wonder what Nikki’s [!] reaches, it’s probably below his belly button somewhere. But I told you bro that’s okay.

I’m listening to the Sixx Sense right now, and the only thing I hate about listening to the Sixx Sense is when you advertise shit. “Quality, Knowledge, Skill, and Value that’s NAPA Know-How….” Gosh, that fucking annoys the hell out of me. I have my head down on my computer table almost sleeping as you talk, I get bored but I love you baby that’s why I must know your “business” and hear everything you say. (Yeah, I know it’s kind of “creepy.”) I almost had sex one time. I was really close. I touched [this guy’s] erection while it was still in his pants and believe me; it was “huge.” And actually I’ll never forget that moment in my life that day at that time when I did that. I was 13 years old and dressed up in my “Nurse Halloween costume” on Hollywood Boulevard. It was a mistake and I actually do regret it and I don’t regret it. I regret it because it wasn’t Nikki. I mean, to me, it’s almost like I cheated on Nikki, now that I look back on it. I hope that person isn’t reading this, really. Yes I was on [partying] still at that time. I didn’t do it, so don’t worry about it baby. That was a long time ago, I was in eighth grade back then.

“Don’t you want to [stick] your [“tool”] inside of this “little girl?” I may be like physically opposite of you and Tommy. But isn’t that hot Nikki? Come on just think about it! Really!” Okay so what I was saying was is that I’m young and I’m short. I think I’m cute. [I was thinking about him] “getting off” on [the thought of him] sticking his “puppet” inside me because I am so “innocent” looking. I know this is going to cause a lot of controversy. I am hoping that deep down inside [his] “little pervert” comes out and tells [him] that [he] should “mess around” with me. That might be the only way that this relationship is going to happen. It might be the only thing that “triggers a relationship,” if there’s going to be one. It may trigger a “good, strong physical attraction” or a “sexual desire.” I am hoping that it will do. I am not trying to say this in a bad way. I’m saying this about me and me only. And no one else! I think it would be really cool if he actually wants to have sex with me because I am so young, short, and innocent. I want to fuck him; I know that for sure. I have my mind made up, but that doesn’t mean it’s ever going to happen. I hope that I’m like a “sexy innocent girl” but yet I am still a “real rocker kind of girl” at the same time. Like I have multiple things going on with my “style” and/or “sex appeal.” I hope I got you Sixx. I love you very much, and I mean it.

I’m doing everything I can in this book to “seduce” you. And it’s not necessarily a bad thing; I’m just a girl doing what girls do. I know the word “seduce” sounds bad, but think about it. As a man, wouldn’t you want to “seduce” your woman into loving you? You know “make her fall in the trap.” (You know that’s what you did with Courtney.) Then you’re both “VERY happy together” in a relationship! See, so it is a positive thing now! Hey I admitted it, I told you I’m fucking honest with you. So I mean “seducing” you in a positive way Nikki, it’s not really “trickery” or anything like that, it’s just nothing but plain honesty. I’m very fucking smart, aren’t I? Anyway, I just hope to end this book on a good note. Come on man! I’m a “virgin,” so get down with it! As of this time, I know I am seventeen, and “legality” is STILL a problem unfortunately. If you absolutely need to, you have my permission to wait until my “eightieth birthday” comes. I don’t even know if this book will get published this year? And you’ll be married to Courtney Bingham when you read this. So that’s another problem for me right there. I’ll wait for you, as long as I have to wait. I’ve waited this long for you. If there was a word greater and stronger than the word “love,” I would tell you right now that is how I feel towards you. Please understand me. I hope you do understand where I’m coming from.

Thursday, February 6, 2014:

I can’t write very much because, I have to go to bed ASAP. Tonight I was on what I call the “cock hunt” for Nikki Sixx again. The “cock hunt” is when I go overboard looking at Nikki Sixx photos trying to find one that is a close-up of his puppet. Yes, apparently that doesn’t work; there probably is no such thing. I see one clip of Nikki’s ******, a video of him on YouTube [that video isn’t up anymore but I downloaded it before it could be taken down, that video is from 1986], and the photos of him naked by Ross Halfin, and that’s still not enough. I am picky. I want “close-up;” I want to see “graphic detail,” like what I would see in real life; like veins, glands, and the shaft. But I find a lot of “cool shit” along the way. About a quarter of my collection of Nikki Sixx photos are photos that I have found by doing these “cock hunts.” I really never find what I want but I find photos I would have NEVER otherwise have seen before. I find rare photographs of him using mostly Google Images. I found two good photos of Nikki Sixx tonight though. One, I found a better photo of than I had saw on Twitter. Two, I found a photo of Nikki Sixx standing next to Courtney Bingham at this “Sound City” event, I can kind of use my imagination and see his “puppet” through his black jeans. I have to notice something “sticking out” in the “crotch area” that is how I will see that it is there. I photoshopped both of the photos and I have not really found what I wanted yet. I probably will never find it. Well, anyhow I really, really, really want to see Nikki’s “junk.” I wish I could ask him to let me see it now. Here’s what would be my perfect image: “a color photo of his penis in its erect state.” I KNOW I am NOT going to find that. And if I ask Nikki Sixx about this, what is he going to say? NO! Yeah, I end up looking at other “Crüe” member’s “puppets” sometimes, when I get bored during this occasional “cock hunts” that I do. I don’t know if I’ll still be doing more of them. (I don’t do them anymore now.) I am wasting my time, trying to find a good penis picture, but I’m definitely finding a lot of other interesting pictures. You see I like to find the pictures where you can see a “bulge” really well through the pants that he’s wearing. And I can use my “imagination;” I have no problem with that at all. I think I have seen everything. Don’t think I haven’t. Don’t worry because I’m okay with what I’ve found. When I find a good picture, it makes me feel happy. And I don’t look up other “Crüe” member’s dicks all the time at all, don’t worry.

But I do look at a lot of dicks on the Internet and it’s fun. I like the “curved” penises more than I like the “straight” ones. If you do or if you don’t, don’t worry about that! I’m really “obsessing” over the other sex in general right now. I mean to the point where it’s kind of ridiculous. I’m drooling over penises right now; I’m in love with that body part. Are you kidding me? What did you think I was going to tell you today? I have this “restless desire” to “go down” on Nikki, seriously. Don’t freak out baby! I won’t start “unbuttoning” it unless you’re okay with it EVER. I literally can’t go to sleep at night without thinking about penises! Wow. I also think about “cuddling” and “fondling” Nikki Sixx at night. I imagine that he is next to me and we’re all alone together. I must be going crazy, but it feels so great! I get really high off of all these sexual thoughts and images! If this is not “normal” for kids my age, I’m so glad that I will be turning eighteen next year! Then I will be a “legal adult,” not that I don’t think I’m an adult right now. I know that doesn’t mean that I’m not a kid anymore. Trust me, I KNOW that I’m fucking young. I mean, most of the pictures I look at of young Nikki Sixx he’s like 20 or older in those pictures. That’s kind of “shocking” to me. I’m going to be young for a real long time yet.

Something happened the day before yesterday (on Tuesday, February 4th, 2014), This is what I posted on Twitlonger on February 4th, “So anyhow I need this thing and I had a really hard time trying to convince my Mom why I need this thing. My Dad was supporting me, when I told him I need him to get something that I need, then he didn’t support me by the time we got to the house today. That’s typical. I am angry at my Mom right now. I go home and my Mom ends up making me talk to her about it. At first she said no way I will not buy it at all. My Mom also says I cause “strife” around the house. She tells me she wants me out when I turn 18 (if I keep causing “strife”). Then I finally gave up looking on the Internet and I crawled in bed started crying and feeling depressed. The only thing that made me feel better was dreaming about “Nikki Sixx.” And that dream gave me a good idea, instead of being depressed I should work out my problem on paper. So that’s exactly what I did tonight. I asked myself questions about the existing problems and wrote down ways I can solve the problem. I came in the family room, to use the Internet, because the Internet was not working in my room. I was trying to find out what the payment methods are that the web sites offer. Then my Mom finally said that she would help and buy this thing for me tomorrow. Now I feel okay. I know its normal at this age to have disagreements with your parents, after I realized that I didn’t feel so bad anymore. So I have not done any homework so far tonight, but I did do it at school. I hate school because, the teachers love to squeeze us for homework assignments.” I really regretted telling my Mom that I needed this thing, I had thought to myself that I was not to tell her about it.

On Monday, February 3rd, 2014 my Mom and I got into a “really bad conflict.” I don’t remember what initially happened but later that night I asked my Mom to move her dolls off my bed. I was not happy with the fact that she told me that I had to wait. I had laid down my Kindle. in my room and she had “blocked me off” from going in there. Yesterday (February 5th, 2014) I missed school telling my Mom that I was sick with a cold. The real reason why I missed school was because, I forgot to get up to print out a “blank job application” for my “English teacher.” She directed us to bring them in because; she was going to teach us how to fill them out. I really put the pressure down on us and she said it was also a “homework assignment.” My US History teacher is out on “jury duty” and we have a substitute teacher (which not exactly the best situation). I have not done any homework since I last went to school. I have to do some more school-related things on the computer before I go to bed for school tomorrow. By the way, as I had mentioned on Sunday, January 26th, 2014 I am going to have to wait until summer to get most of those toys. A big problem I’m facing right now is the fact that I am NOT 18 and I cannot “legally” order that shit on the Internet in my name. I HAVE TO ask my Mom to buy it. Since my Dad is a male he says that he cannot buy it, and I guess that I don’t blame him. I wouldn’t need to order so much stuff if Nikki was having sex with me. Since he is not having sex with me so I have to make the best of it. I don’t have any other choice since I want to be ‘faithful’ to him and have him break my virginity and so on. You know me; I’m REALLY in love with him. I mean, at first I acted like I didn’t care about him years ago when I was much younger. (I was just “acting” back then, I really did care about him.) But the love I had for him hit me really bad to a point where I did wind up telling the world about it. It’s like when someone says, “He isn’t that great”, but they really mean, “He’s so great and I’m totally obsessed with him.” That’s kind of like what I went through when I was younger.

Saturday, February 01, 2014:

Hello, I’m here again and I’ve got a hell of a lot to talk about. I was on Facebook yesterday (January 31st, 2014) saving Nikki Sixx pictures again, and I realized something. The main reason why I felt attracted to Nikki Sixx when I was young is the fact that I knew that he was “big guy.” Oh yes, I love big guys. But mind you, there’s NO ONE like Nikki Sixx.” I realized something else yesterday also, I’m not going to be a rockstar because, I suck at playing guitar and I’m not even in a band. But I am a ‘rocker’ and that’s enough to get me notoriety. I was saving pictures from the “Carnival of Sins” tour and I remember that explicitly when I was younger. I admit, Nikki Sixx did probably look scary to me back then, but it was a “good scary.” And I mean a REALLY “good scary.” Just like the “sexiest zombie” you ever seen in your whole entire life scary. So when I saw him onstage in that video, I mean scary to the point where it was very sexy and to the point where you believed that you were achieving an orgasm. I’d bet you would love to be that kind of scared! So it was the black hair, the goatee, the makeup, the filthy plaid shirts, the black leather, the color of a red shirt, and the tattoos. I’m talking about Nikki Sixx on the “Carnival of Sins” tour people, that was 2005 and 2006. Going on 10 years ago now. Listen, I know Nikki Sixx is a “big guy,” and there are guys “bigger” than he is, but there’s nothing better than he is at all. I was walking through the hallway at school yesterday, right after my ceramics class. I was thinking, wow, thank god I’m not a sucker for the “growing teenage physique.” I know that’s what is the normal thing for girls my age. I’ve always been this way since I was at least 7 years old, I knew that I was more leaning towards the “adult physique.” You know what I’m saying, “broader shoulders,” “bigger legs and arms,” “testosterone;” “he’s hung down there,” and so on and so forth. Look at it this way, when you’re an adult, you’re going to be done growing for the most part. When you’re a teenager you’re still developing into that “mighty man flower.” Now does it make more sense? I’m attracted to that resulting “mighty man flower” that you grew into. I think for the most part that is something rare, in kids my age to be “attracted” to their adult “nemesis” and/or “rivals.” (Yes, teleiophilia is sort of rare in kids my age.) I think that does happen in boys probably more than girls, the boys will be “attracted” to an adult woman. Am I right? But for girls, they will be “attracted” to someone like an “adult athlete,” but still go out with boys their age and be okay with it. [That is “prepubescent teleiophilia.”]

No, I’m not like that, I’m not much “AC/DC,” and I’ve mostly been “naturally attracted to adults” [having teleiophilia] for my entire life. (And I meant “AC/DC” by kids who mingle with older and younger people sexually, not “bisexual” [and not the band either].) Yes, I have had other people I was “attracted” to besides Nikki Sixx, in my life, but that WAS NOT “love,” it was “fake.” And when I say that I have been “naturally attracted to adults” I try really hard not to make it to the point where it’s not “discriminatory” okay. Isn’t there a silver lining to what I’m saying here? Yes indeed! There is certainly a “silver lining!” Believe me, I just need to say that Nikki Sixx, as he was Frank Carlton Serafino Feranna, Jr. he was fucking beautiful. Now to me, he wasn’t like one of those teenagers I was talking about that turns into a “mighty man flower,” I think he was already there the whole time. I mean he had the “sex appeal,” he was like a man already. Not the same man he is now, but to me, he was and still is a man. He was too pretty to be like everyone else, now that is exactly what I am trying to say here. Are there other ‘teenagers’ like that? Sure there is! We live in a big world! I know the “mental attraction” is another aspect of this topic, like what most of you know as “maturity.” Yeah, for the most part, to me that don’t really matter at all because, I have met so many “immature adults.” I’m immature sometimes also, but sometimes I can be really “mature.” So I am little bit of both okay. Not to be “insulting” or anything like that, not trying to be offensive, but Nikki Sixx can be a bit immature sometimes, and that’s a good thing. We all can’t be so rigid and take your selves too seriously. We can’t take life too seriously. And here’s one thing I really hate about men, is when they’re WAY too “bossy” and “authoritative.” That for me is a “big turn off.” I have met so many “male teachers” that are almost like “control freaks.” I know you can say that’s their job, but sometimes I just know when the “writing’s on the wall.” And Nikki Sixx is not like that for the most part, and it’s okay to be a little bit “bossy and authoritative.” I mean, if you’re trying to turn me on, and it’s sexy, you know like you’re trying to be a man, just playing around with it, that’s great! (I’d bet you do that with Courtney all the time.) Basically, I’m saying it’s okay if you’re trying to get me to “spread my legs.”

Another thing I wanted to say that, is I know Nikki has a lot of what I call “young pussy” panting over him. Girls just like me, I guess I can call myself that too. I’ve been in the “race over him” on “social networks” since 2010 starting with Myspace. I have met him! A lot of people, they haven’t even met him! I think that I’m special. I’m serious when I say; “I want him.” I want him “more than anything in the whole wide world” and I’ll do anything I to have him. My Dad told me that “young pussy” thing feeds his “ego.” I’m okay with that, I’ll feed his “ego” all right. Here’s the catch; he’s going to feed my “ego” too. Before I joined what I call “the race over him,” I used to read a lot of “press articles” and I tried to keep up with “LA Ink.” I was using Google most of all. This is the last thing I want to write about, “I Am A” on “Reddit” yesterday. Yes! He did respond to me, I hope I am establishing somewhat of a “good connection” with this guy. (“I Am A” is a chat page on “Reddit” for celebrity, public figures, and so on.) I asked Nikki Sixx 14 questions on the “Reddit” hat yesterday, competing with hundreds of others questions. He only answered one of my questions, and I’m FINE with that, as this was my goal. I asked Nikki Sixx this question, “If you were in High School right now, what you would do and who would you be?” Nikki Sixx responded to my question with this, “I would most probably be exactly the way I was when I was in high school in Seattle, a bit of an outcast. Too serious and artsy for my own good and always trying to chase down that cheerleader.” And I replied to him with this, “And I’m the cheerleader! I love you baby! THANK YOU! I’m artsy also; I’m in ceramics class.” So I’d bet you if I dressed in a cheerleader outfit that would freak him out. I asked Nikki Sixx 14 questions, including 7 other statements/comments. My “Reddit” username is the same as the Twitter username; “annehill310” except I had to make it a little bit different, “annehill310onTwitter.”

Overall, I really want to touch Nikki; I mean, “touch his chest,” like “touching his body.” My favorite part of Nikki’s body would be his “crotch,” I love seeing that. I love it when he takes photographs of it, especially in photography of him being onstage, and more, I love “eyeballing his crotch.” I really want to see what’s underneath those jeans, leather pants; whatever you’re wearing, you know that right? I forgot to say I also got tickets yesterday to see Mötley Crüe at the “Hollywood Bowl” on July 21st, 2014! And we got GOOD seats! I have to go soon because; I have to get ready for my “guitar lesson” in LA. I was into “football” and I wasn’t into “football” when I was younger. When I wasn’t into it, it was because of the fact that I had realized that it was a man’s game. Besides I was in my own world. Now that I’m older, I realized that “gender” doesn’t matter. I’m going to be into “football” now. It’s not too late. I’m going to a “superbowl party” tomorrow with my Dad at his friend’s house, in Simi Valley. I’m going to learn the game also (eventually). I’m going through like a “football awakening” right now. One more thing, I have an important story about the “Dodge” “Challenger.” Since I know now that “Dodge” is sponsoring Mötley Crüe’s “final tour” and they all got into the “Challengers.” Nikki Sixx posted this tweet on his Twitter account on January 31st, 2014, “Dodge Challenger. Fuck yeah. Dodge.” I posted this on my Twitter account responding to his tweet that he had posted, “STORY: My Dad’s deceased close friend, Marty Mihm. I rode around in a rental 2009 Dodge Challenger with him and my Dad. RIP Marty.” Oh yeah, and about the “Reddit” chat. You know what questions I would have really, really, really liked to ask Nikki? Sexual questions of course; for example; “Do you [!]?” “How many [!]” “When do you [!] and how often?” And last but not least, “Can I [!] your [!]?” I’ve learned my lessons by now, I certainly KNOW BETTER BY NOW NOT TO DO THAT! But it’s questions like that, that stick in the back of my mind during these “AskSixx” chats on Twitter, and ESPECIALLY during this “Reddit” “I Am A” chat. Yeah, I’ll find out on my own one-day maybe. Seriously, it’s just a joke Nikki. I wish there were a chat where it was okay to ask personally questions! Yeah, right!
I am seeking editing suggestions, critique, feedback, and reviews. See the whole entire book at my web site thebackgroundofanne.yolasite.c… (This is just 10 pages of the book.) Send me emails at annehill310@yahoo.com
This book is ©annehill 2015.

Sunday, February 16, 2014:

I was thinking about the future, this is going to get dark; just warning you. And I know that Nikki is going to die one day, I don’t want to “jinx” this book either. I want him to stay alive for hopefully like another 80 plus years. When he does go, I know it would completely devastate me. I will probably get really sick and end up in the hospital. I would cry like a baby with coholic. If I was forced to have sex with any man besides Nikki, it’s only going to be the people who are my heroes and who are fans of the same bands as I am. Anything of that nature, or people who were friends with me and they’re still alive. I don’t think I’ll really be having sex anymore at all after he’s gone. I love him WAY more than you think I do. I love him almost like family. I hope this does not scare you, maybe you’ll understand, if I say it this way; I love him like he’s my son, like he’s my own “flesh and blood.”

I was seriously thinking about time travel, and I think that in my future we’ll be capable of it. After he’s gone maybe I wouldn’t be afraid to go back there, to the 70’s and 80’s. I mean, if you could go in a time machine and see a Led Zeppelin concert; wouldn’t you do it? Here’s the catch, [if you seriously tell people that you’re from the future], people are going to get in your face, tell you that they do not believe it, they’re going to scream, and they may even try to KILL you. Here’s what you do; you don’t go back in time without your shit. 1) You need to know about all the major events that happened during that time because; people are going to expect you to know about it if you’re from the future. 2) You bring your “time travel license card” with the year you are from printed on it. 3) You need a “legal document,” that you can sue people if they hurt you, harass you, make threats, or anything of that nature. 4) You can bring smart technology with you, but it needs a “special sticker” and “paperwork” explaining what year it was evented and how it functions. 5) The future as we know it right now, the present time we live would be altered. Technology would be even greater today. It probably won’t be impossible to figure out if that’s change for the good or the bad either. In our future, we should have the technology and the brains to assess that question. 6) Everyone needs some sort of “ID card” along your birth certificate, or maybe a copy of it. 7) If someone destroys your time machine, you need some way of contacting your people from the future and they need to come and pick you up, where ever you are at. Or make the time machine one-hundred-percent “indestructible” or if it does get damaged, it can “re-assemble” itself back together right there on the spot. 7) I can’t go just by myself. It has to be maybe like eighty people in a group because; we’ll probably find ourselves visiting the “White House,” on national TV, or something of that nature. We all need to look out for each other. Time travel is crazy! I know, and it’s probably not that far from us. Time traveling is like the same thing as “space travel;” it’s like being an astronaut. The “time machine” is like your “space ship.” A lot of work needs to be done to ensure that we are safe! And if Nikki didn’t fall in love with me back then, I don’t care. I would love to have him bang me, and hopefully I wouldn’t catch some nasty “STD!” It’s like hopefully we can just come up with the technology to eliminate that problem too. Maybe we could come up with a pill, something you smell, or just by touching it. Opps! Then you change history forever. I would probably enjoy the time travel trip, I could even find my Dad in Los Angeles and say “Hi” to him. What if something happened where our parents didn’t marry each other? We need a remedy for that too, so we don’t fade away in thin air! (Just like in the movie “Back to the Future” from 1985.) If I went back in time, I would try to do everything I could to get Nikki to fall for me still. I know I was born in 1997; it’s just not fair!!! Time travel now is dangerous, because if I would get with Nikki and then if he didn’t marry Brandi or Donna, his children wouldn’t be here today! And that’s terrible so we need further innovation to solve that problem. It may seem almost impossible to fix as of now. We would have to start splitting time periods in two dimensions, the dimension where people from the future intervened and the dimension where the world was “untouched” by us time-travelers. That way no one is going to fade away in thin air in the present time period that we are in right now. And everyone could keep his or her biological parents. People would probably start hoping dimensions also. Then the world would change forever and hopefully an “apocalypse” or “aliens” wouldn’t wipe out mankind at that point. This is pretty interesting. Maybe I just made time travel more of a possibility by putting out my insight? Maybe I just made history!

Here’s another sick confession of mine, I KNOW Nikki Sixx IS GETTING “MARRIED.” So I have been thinking about Tommy Lee an awful lot. By the way, I never wished that Nikki had married. Another thing is that Nikki Sixx seems to follow the path of Gene Simmons a lot. All I’ve got to say about that is “Uh-oh.” So don’t freak out yet, I don’t want you to freak okay, Nikki. I am really afraid that you might straight out tell me to fuck off. That’s why I am trying not to think about you all the time. And besides I have been reading Tommy’s book, and I am learning lots of new things about him that I actually didn’t know. This book, it’s all about feelings, isn’t it. Tommy was very nice to me when he met me. I spent more time with him than I did Nikki Sixx Nikki Sixx is married. Will Tommy Lee get married? Yes, he will. Tommy Lee has a girlfriend. WHERE DOES THIS ALL LEAD TOO! AHHH! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I’ve always loved Nikki, that was love at first sight, but when I saw Nikki, I also saw all the Mötley Crüe members. So it isn’t like I knew Nikki Sixx before all the other band members, I learned about all you guys at the same time. But still Nikki Sixx makes my heart fucking bleed. Hey I wasn’t alive for Nikki’s other two marriages so I didn’t suffer at all. I was “zero” back then. I hate this! Nikki Sixx to me is also like “eye-candy,” I love his chest and his back, and all his tattoos make him look like a human painting. He is buff as hell! Tommy has “sex tapes;” I remember my “jaw dropping” when I first viewed them. I was like 13 when I finally saw them. [Why did I fucking do that? I ask myself that question, A LOT!] Tommy Lee is more than that though; you are way more than that bro, believe me! EVEN I KNOW THAT. Thank me for being honest. I’m face to face with my “worst nightmare.” Nikki Sixx standing with Courtney Bingham in all those pictures is “intimidating,” and it is SUPPOSED to be. He DOES NOT WANT TO BE WITH ANYONE ELSE! That’s why it’s “intimidating.” This is all leading to something very serious. As far as I’m concerned, I’m in “good-standing” with Nikki until he finds something about me that he doesn’t like. That’s not good. [He already did! That one tweet I sent on July 25th, 2014! I’ll pay the rest of my life for it too! And this book also! Oh I fucking know it! YOU HAVE NO HEART, YOU COLD BASTARDS!] I know if he even hangs out with me, like if I ride in his “Ferrari!” We might caught by the media, the fucking “vultures!” You know what I really wish. I would love to at least be able to have a kiss with Nikki Sixx I know I cannot, you know why. I cannot touch; I have to keep my hands off her husband. See, “Nikki,” things are different now that you’re “married.” I am emotional and I will cry next time I see you, or maybe not. Still I will cry in private. I’m very mixed up and I apologize for being so [upfront] to you [guys]. Just come up to me and say that you love me! I don’t want it to be too late, and in fact, boy it’ll NEVER be too late. I fucking love you so much. I really do. I would hope that you believe me, because I swear to god that it’s true. Oh god, help me. Okay, I’ll tell you what I like. I know I used to be tone when I was younger. I like men who are fit, I admit. Sometimes us girls are not so tone go with guys who are not so tone also. But that’s just not me. I don’t discriminate. I like a skinny hot guy. Words like “lean,” “trim,” “buff,” describe that guy. For me that is what Nikki Sixx is right now. I mean, really, he’s “perfection.” One day I hope I will look “smoking hot” too. If that day never comes, I still know what I’m after and what I have in my mind. You know what I would love to do. Drive Nikki to an exotic place like “PV Pennisula,” hotel room, I put him in bed, paint his face white and put those two black lines underneath his eyes, and then I jump his bones. He should just come up behind me when I’m not expecting it and pick me up and carry me in his arms. Not that he would because he “married” now. Does he even want to? Love is a crazy thing people! It just is. I’m going to stop writing about this now because; I’m getting “all wrapped around the axle.” “I like a skinny hot guy. Words like “lean,” “trim,” “buff,” describe that guy.” I could be so honest with you; I’m talking about cock too. You know I want the dick. I think about that all time. For guys, to me, their “genitals” are kind of like [what] a “girl’s boobs” [would be to you]. If you’re a guy, you must know how you always focus on that and/or think about it all the time. It’s the same kind of thing here.

I have yet another confession; I entered the School of Rock in West LA not just so I could see Nikki Sixx I was lonely back in December 2012, and I had wanted to see guys; I just had to do it and I knew it. I had it on my mind, of coarse, you all know I had nothing but sex on my mind, right? Of coarse you’all know I’m over that now. And I met Scott, I met Brandon, and things at the School of Rock are still going well. I’m not really interested practicing guitar, honestly, my mind is on other things. And guys don’t take it personally really. I do like the guitar, I just don’t know if I “love” it. All I know is that the guitar is an instrument, and when I hear, I do like that. You know what I mean? Come on like the Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, KISS; the guitar is a “vital backbone” for music. So what I joined to School of Rock to meet guys? I enjoy it for the music now. Hey Tommy Lee, I would have never met you, if I didn’t feel that way back then! I’ve made new friends, and that’s always good! That can never be a bad thing, well for the most part. You what I would practice guitar if I could jam with Nikki, yeah another sex fantasy, I’ll jam with you and then you will [make me feel real happy]! That actually sounds really good. I’ll jam with you since it turns me on! I like getting drawn into the guitar; it actually makes me feel a little bit horny. You know in my imagination, I feel that way, whatever. I’ll actually get horny though “jamming” with you know who. I wonder if Tommy played drums and if I played guitar if that would make me horny? The answer to that is maybe. Now if Nikki were on bass, I would get fucking horny. I admit, so now you can chew on that.

Now I am going to write about “bars” and I’m going to write about drinking alcohol. So listen up, or as I would say (since this is a book), read it up. I’ve been going through a lot of hurt recently, because Nikki Sixx and Courtney Bingham are going to be at a bar meet and greet this Friday. Now, if you do RUB IT IN MY FACE that I’m not 21. You think I’m so fucking tough! I’ll cry! If you make me feel bad, I’ll fucking cry! Okay, so don’t you dare fucking motherfucking even so dare to THINK about it! And then were good, okay. I think there are some bars in Los Angeles that would let me in once I’m eighteen. However I am not completely sure about that. So it’s not like I can never go in any bar with you, like you have to wait four years or something. I’d figure if Nikki can drink can “NA beer” so can I. The problem is that I can’t really, I am not sure but I think that’s “illegal” in California. I found out that “consumption of alcohol by minors is not explicitly prohibited” in the law. Like it’s not illegal to drink whine or beer during meals at home with family, I found that one out. [NO, NO, NO, IT’S NOT “LEGAL!” IT IS FUCKING “ILLEGAL” IN CALIFORNIA. WHETHER OR NOT YOU WANT TO DO IT, WELL THAT’S UP TO YOU.]

Another problem is that my Mom is a “beer-hater.” My Mom is really conservative for the most part. It’s like “the roof is going to blow off.” I’m lucky to be getting closer to being 18 years old. What I do know is that California made it illegal for people under the age of 21 to purchase “NA beer” (because it’s still alcohol); doesn’t mean it’s necessarily enforceable. My Dad and I were having a conversation, and we think that’s ridiculous. If purchasing were illegal, I would imagine consumption of it is illegal too. [YES, IT IS. Consumption of it is “illegal” too in California.] But I haven’t found out a straight answer to that yet. Oh and I know and I remember how angry I would get. I’ll talk about my experiences as being a “sober” person, and believe me; California is very tight on their rules about it. Here are two experiences of mine that really stand out. In 2012, when I was fifteen, I had to put up quite a fuss to have my Mom take me to our local “A1 Foods” store. I tried to explain to the checkout lady that I did the research that it’s okay for me to have “NA beer,” and she gave me the worst “stink eye.” I must have gotten several “stink eyes,” not just from her but from my Mom too. I don’t how true this is, if she really gave me a “stink eye,” but she seemed irritated by us. I think even the customers may have been giving me “stink eyes.” I’m not too sure about that though. I am not calling out “old people,” but man you really have to watch out for yourself. They’re usually the first in crowd to give you “dirty looks” in a public place like that. Last year, I met Gene Simmons at “Rock and Brews,” I thought it was okay still for minors to have “NA beer.” I remember when I did finally go there that I did not feel “welcomed” at all and I felt REALLY out of place. This was just the Rock And Brews on Pacific Coast Highway, no I am not saying that all the Rock And Brews are like this! My Dad ordered a NA beer and I wanted to have one too, you know, because I thought it was okay. As for as I’m CONCERNED it was just a fucking innocent mistake. She told me “NO” and said, “You’re under 21 so sadly you still can’t have it.” I so fucking embarrassed of myself, I let it ruin my night, I had told my Dad that I felt like a “jackass” for even asking. People were staring at me and they may have even been laughing about it. So twice this “NA Beer” thing has bitten me back and I have been traumatized by these experiences. I need to complete my research because, this time I’m going to be smart about this. I feel much better about this now because, I’m almost 18 years old. My Dad told me that I can’t have “NA beer” in the house, that’s completely out of the question. I need to find out if consumption of “NA beer” for minors (under the age of 21 and 18) is illegal. [Which I have, and it’s illegal in California.] By the way, I just wanted to mention that being “equal” is an issue for me. And I do want to be “equal” with the people that I love and care about. I do actually like the taste of beer, so I could sit here and I tell you that I’m not doing it to be “equal.” And honestly yes, yet I am trying to feel adequate to “them.” “Beer” should be a fun thing though; not a serious thing, but unfortunately it has been completely the other way around for me. My “age” NEVER helps a situation. Four years later from now, of coarse, that won’t matter anymore. You know what gets my mind off of that though? Some good sex! Well, for me it’s called “masturbation” of coarse. Or when I watch “porn” or look pictures that make me feel horny, that gets my mind off of things that upset me. Instead of beer, I have mostly been drinking sparkling apple cider. It’s something that tastes good and it’s different. It’s commonly used as a “champagne substitute.” I’m sorry I may have damaged your poor soul, but I admit I might be a bit of a “nymphomaniac.” It’s nothing new; I have always been like that. My Dad even said that I was like that. So I guess you’ll just have to put up with me for like another 200 pages.

I just saw Courtney’s “Valentine’s Day grab bag cards.” I can see what every single one of them says in the photo, and I think that I can do MUCH BETTER. So please let me have a crack at this. (This is my spoof on her Valentine’s Day YouTube video.) [Let me explain, I turned the tables here by putting myself in this situation and I’m demonsrating to you what I’d say on the cards if I were me. It’s only a “sick joke,” so you can laugh. And this DOES NOT have to be directed at you, although I was thinking of you at the time that I did this. No pun intended! It’s just purely humor!] Card #1 says, “Lick my pussy.” Card #2 says, “Fuck me right now.” Card #3 says, “Suck my titties.” Card #4 says, “Penis pump time!” Card #5 says, “Erection pill.” Card #6 says, “Handjob.” Card #7 says, “Watch your favorite porno with me.” Card #8 says, “Serve me a semen milkshake.” Card #9 says, “Watch while other person masturbates.” Card #10 says, “Do something naughty with my clitoris.” So how did I do? So if you’re not Nikki Sixx,and you’re reading this, not having a clue what I’m talking about here. I’ll attempt to explain here. Nikki Sixx and Courtney Bingham had this one video on YouTube about “Valentine’s Day”, as you may know I watched it on Friday, February 7th, 2014. Courtney had Nikki Sixx grabbing “little cards” that say things out of a bag while he closes his eyes. That is probably what they did on Valentine’s day. So I guess once he grabs the card he will have to do it. Whatever it is that he grabs. Don’t you just love me? I ruin everything, don’t I? Oh yeah and card #11 says, “Squeeze balls.” I don’t censor myself bro.

[This whole paragraph demonstrates a HUGE irony, because little did I know that him “blocking me” would actually turn out to be my future.] Look, I know I’ve said a lot of good stuff in here and negative stuff here. But promise me that you will never “block” me on Twitter or Facebook. You’ve been “blocking” a lot of people. I’m always very careful what I tweet at you Nikki and I love you more than anyone in the whole wide world. So no matter how frustrated you may get reading this book, don’t do it. I know you must know what my Twitter account is, so I’m just letting you know. Before it potentially happens. That would be a very bad move. You know I would just make another account and tweet at you from there I love you so much. [And that’s EXACTLY what I’ve been trying to do. I just leave it alone now because, I think that he already figured me out. I have to be EXETREMELY CAREFUL nowadays, to the point that I’m almost afraid of it! I always tell myself that he’s thinking, “stalker,” “stalker,” “stalker.”] It’s okay, I know you might be kind of “sensitive.” [GOOD, HE SHOULD BE! THAT’S THE ONLY WAY HE’S GONNA FORGIVE ME AND GET OVER OUR “PROBLEMS!”] Okay I was just looking at a picture of you from in the 80’s on Facebook. You were with a pretty blonde girl, you know about your eyes? You’ve got the world’s nicest eyes seriously. I love looking into your eyes. They’re deep, those eyes made me fall in love, and those eyes they make me cry. I love your eyes Nikki. Now I got that song “These Eyes” by The Guess Who stuck in my head.

Friday, February 14, 2014:

Yeah I know it’s “Valentine’s Day.” I’ve been listening to a lot of “old school” music lately since Nikki Sixx tweeted about this “Bubble Butt” song by Major Lazer. I have this song stuck in my head, “Me So Horny” by 2 Live Crew. I’m staying home from school again because; I have a sore throat. I remember Nikki said on the Sixx Sense one time that girls “worship that thing.” And I’m here to tell you that you’re so fucking right. I kind of “worship” your crotch, “Nikki.” I worship you and I worship your [“crotch”], So I’m just here just to tell you that you’re right. And don’t you think otherwise. For the next month and a half, all people will be talking about is that wedding. I’m getting really sick of it to be honest with you. Like I’m going to do something about it. Like I can try to block it out maybe? I keep getting dreams where I see Nikki Sixx naked. My brain like can’t fucking help it! Last night I was dreaming that I was looking at a picture of Nikki with the band from the “Dr. Feelgood” era (AKA 1989). I could have sworn I saw his penis, no pants on and no underwear on. Not a single bit of coverage downstairs. How did it look like inside that “caged up imagination” of mine? Two words to describe [what I saw in my dream], “big and juicy!” (Don’t be running scared now people; it’s only a book.) At 3:00 PM I have to be at the “dentist” because, I have a loose filling. I’m sure that’s going to be fun, not!

Yesterday (on Thursday, February 13th, 2014) Gina Hendrix (AKA “Models and Mutts”) tweeted at me twice, she responded saying that she was “sorry that I can’t go to her other event” and that Nikki Sixx will not be at any more of her events in March. For the most part, I’m pretty much over this right now. I started “criticizing” her photography while I was talking to my Dad. I think she should get more creative because, men they do get tired of seeing the same old, same old. Like doing a photography session at “the beach” with the dog, or “in the city,” or even in the “wilderness.”

Experimenting with makeup or models with tattoos. Even experimenting with background colors, besides just using a white backdrop all the time. She could try using a yellow, blue, green, pink, or red background.’ Not that it matters. Like what would be really sexy is a “big, bad muscle car.” Three or five girls sprawled out all over the car. Then you have the featured dog sitting on top of the hood of the car. Maybe more men would look at that? And they would probably notice the dog more too. I’m just saying. You can even experiment with different objects like “ice cream.” You don’t even need the car; you can go motorcycle too. By the way, no offence either, it’s cool.
Yesterday I had an emotional reunion with my former “art” and/or “cartooning” teacher. And it was completely unexpected; it surprised me so much. I was hanging with my friend, Jaclyn, at lunch and they tell me that there’s a substitute. I come in there, and I see it’s him, I like started totally “freaking out.” I came up to Jaclyn and told her who he was and how nervous I was that he was there. She had to tell me to “clam down and take deep breaths.” She also told me to approach him and say “Hi.” So when he was “taking role,” I asked him if he had remembered me. He said that he did and he was actually pretty happy also. Then I came up to him and he gave me a hug, we were talking to each other for about like five minutes. Then I went back to my seat and started working on “ceramics” again. The class got totally “out of control.” He had to start telling people to keep it down and threaten some kids that would bring in the vice-principal. In my head I was like, “Get me out of here!”

When class was over I came up to him and talked to him again. He hugged me again, we talked a little bit, and he said, “Be my valentine,” and I was like, “Yeah, sure I’ll be your valentine.” Then after sixth period I saw him after school and my Dad finally got an opportunity to start talking to him. We’re all good friends again! And he hugged me again.

What’s VERY ironic about this happening is that I was reading Tommylandagain on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014. I was reading the part where Tommy Lee goes back to his High School and meets [his former music teacher] Mr. Dorvak. And you know that got emotional. Little did I know I would have that same exact thing happening to me the next day! The last time I saw my cartooning teacher was in 2010, I was 13-years-old and I made a “bong” out of the materials in his art class. I’ll never forget that, I remember how much he didn’t like it. I think that was the last time we talked. He knows just about everything about me man. That’s why we’re so close. I think that’s one of my biggest regrets in life so far, was doing that in his “art class.” I felt really guilty about it for a long time. I mean, I’ve told my Dad about his before, I would see him walking around on campus and I just couldn’t get it together to say “Hi” to him. I’m glad now that I’m over it and I can say “Hi” to him now. To be honest with you, I think when he first saw me again as a High School student, he probably didn’t recognize me because of how much I have changed since then.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014:

Listening to the Sixx Sense from February 11 and 10 kind of freaked me out yesterday. That’s right people, it kind of scared me. I heard Nikki say he was a “conservative parent.” I know that he is being a great “role model” and all for you parents out there, that’s one of the reasons why I love him. I should regret falling in love with him though. [I DO, I DO, I DO REGRET FalliNG IN LOVE WITH HIM!] He is getting married now and he is such a “straight shooter” that love gets “pushed underneath the table” now. Let’s just say a girl like me; he’s already made up his mind, right? I get “packed underneath the table!” Bro, I think you need to “rearrange your furniture.” And I know that you don’t think that, do you? Oh yeah, he’s just fine the way he is. I don’t mean to sound “delusional” but my “worst nightmare” has came true people. He’s getting “married,” and I know that could be a million other things worse than that. The thing that really ANTAGONIZES me is my “age.” I hate it, I feel like it’s this “red tape” that I carry with me everywhere I go. Life wouldn’t be such a problem if I were Courtney’s age. In fact, I just had a nightmare about her last night. The thing is, I will always be in the same age group his kids are in. That haunts me man!

I listened to the Sixx Sense last night, I was howling like a wolf, I had to stick something inside me just to relax, and I overslept my alarms this morning to go to school. I knew that I hadn’t listened to his ‘radio show’ in days. You keep saying your going to show up to Kerri Kasem’s “Vapor Store” naked, then you say maybe you won’t be there at all? You keep talking about “being naked,” and man; you’re just really driving me up a wall. You know that I want to see you “naked” in person so fucking bad. I would just love to stand in line at the airport to see your “body scan.” I want to see you without clothes on, and with my “dirty mind,” preferably with a “stiffy.” I think that’s probably “cheating” though. So I think that you won’t be able to do that.

I know it’s like if he loves me he has to get a “divorce.” I know it sounds as terrible as “World War 3” but I can see that’s what the future is going to be like. Now that’s scary, because no one wants to go through all that “pain,” especially if you’ve already gone through it two times! I understand; things are not as easy as they seem! In fact, things are really difficult. Now what I should be thinking is how I am even going to get this man attracted to me. If at all, is it going to be on my level? From my understanding, Nikki Sixx is discriminate in picking his women. And it’s kind of okay because most men are like that. I’m discriminate in picking men too; it’s my instincts, although I try not to discriminate. I’ve picked out Nikki, so all bets are off on that. You know I love him no matter what he does, even if he told me no, I still love him deeply. I’ve fallen into a “love void,” I know that already. I’m always thinking, what can I do to fix my problems? How can I look better on the outside? How can I boost my confidence? Another problem is how is my edge doing? Is it even there at all? How can I seem older? Most people would say that I seem older. What am I going to do? Lie to Nikki, “Oh yeah, I’m twenty-six and a half.” No! I’m going to tell him the truth and try to get him to respect me for who I am! That’s what I’m going to do! This is why I’m freaking out guys, if he’s a “conservative parent,” then can I or can I not? Like does that mean I cannot have any “sexual relations” with him at all ever period? That fucking scares me man. I hope I still can if I wait my turn. It fucking scares me because I’m in that “age range” of 13 to 19. And it’s going to take me a couple of years to dig out of that. I seriously wish “age” didn’t matter, at least in the situations I find myself very vulnerable to. Man, this isn’t what love is about. And I know it sucks. I’ll tell you the truth; three of Nikki’s children are older than I am. I’m only older than the youngest child is (no pun intended). Yup, that sucks for me.

You talk about the “porn” people post on your Facebook page, and how you don’t want younger fans on there to see it. Ha! I’ve already seen all there is to see in this world. I just try not to make a bad thing out of it. Am I making a bad thing out of it? I hope not. All I can say is that I love him. But I love him way, way more than you do. I know every time I click on what people post you, I always find the “cock inside the ass” picture, believe me, I’m sick and tired of it too man. Well, anyhow, I need to go to school now. I hope things can get better? Maybe we all can understand each other too, agree with each other, love each other, and have great “make up sex” with each other! I heard you were talking about “Adult Swim,” I watch that a lot. I like watching “Family Guy.” “Robot Chicken” and “Boondocks” are okay. I don’t really watch “American Dad” that much. I do watch “Aqua Team Hunger Force” and “Bob’s Burgers” sometimes. I’ve watched “Rick and Morty” and “Space Dandy” once. I like “Space Dandy” though and it seems pretty good. So my book, you’ve come to make a judgement about me. I have news for you. This book is almost entirely my private thoughts. I’m NOT like this around other people in normal social situations. I’m very good with kids, okay. I care about being a good person. Yes, I used to watch “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!” all the time (it’s the show with Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim). I have also seen “Dr. Steve Brule” (the show starring “John C. Reilly” as “Dr. Steve Brule”) before. It was pretty funny. I also heard you talk about “Porn Hub” turning comments into “Valentine’s Day” cards. A favorite phrase of mine (this is relating to porn) has always been, “Ride the cock.” I just love that! I don’t know why but it turns me on. The word “ride” too has a significant meaning. If I could pick what was on a “porn-related” and/or adult “Valentine’s Day” card, the comment would be, “Ride the cock.” Damn I just love that. Here’s my “Valentine’s” card greeting to Nikki; “I want to…. Happy Valentine’s Day boy!” Just kidding! I have to go now, really.

I am listening to more Sixx Sense including, stuff that I missed yesterday and new stuff from tonight. I just gotta say. Here are my confessions: 1) Howling and barking like a dog makes me happy. Turning into a dog when I am alone makes me very happy. Now don’t let me go all “dog” on you. (I don’t do that anymore.) 2) You’re a “good liar and manipulator?” I hope you can “manipulate” me fucking good. Turns me on! [This is sarcastic; it’s a joke.] 3) You’re a [“piggie”]? I want your “D” in me. That’s it. It really, really, really is turning me on boy. I’m not calling you a [“piggie”], I just heard you talking about a “sexist” candidate in Toyoko and then Kerri transitioned into that “male chauvinist pig” topic. Now I KNOW what you’re thinking. Honestly, those were my confessions. I’m just playing around, I don’t mean to come off that way. I’m just fooling with you. It’s fun to experiment with different ways of speaking every once in a while. I just said them this way instead of the other way that’s all.

Nikki, don’t duck when the “river’s flowing red,” that’s the best time to put your “D” in me. That’s when a girl is in heat! Unless she has those “pain in the ass” period cramps! Did I just say, “put your dick in me?” Wow, I must be really having fun today. By the way, “Nikki,” I just wanted to tell you. If you did have sex with me, I’d “thank you.” I’m very polite. Now the thing about the [“piggie”], you can only go so far with that. If it’s actually a bad thing, it’s not sexy anymore. I just wanted to tell you that. Like the “Generation Swine” piggy mask thing, that was awesome! Would totally fuck you hard baby in that mask! You looked so good, with that suit and tie on! You guys were tight in ‘97. Take that as a compliment! It’s funny how I was just a baby in ‘97 too. (I WAS BORN IN ‘97 DUDE!) I jump up and down thinking about Nikki’s “D.” Imagine if I was able to finally see it, how the hell I would react! I would probably scream. And Nikki, when my “river’s flowing red” it really isn’t that bad at all, believe me. Yes, I do get some form of “PMS” during my periods because of that bitch we call, “mother nature.”

I’m generally really chill bro for the most part, honestly. In my book here, I can really, really, really express myself. If I get to know you, and if I like you, I’ll talk your ear off! And I will “talk your ear off!” You know what I like, wild boys, natural, hedonistic, wild men. That’s like what Nikki Sixx is for me, he satisfies my craving. Mmmm, yummy. That’s right, my fucking craving. Oh La La! Delicious! Nikki, dude, you gotta realize that I have “passionate feelings” for you. It seems as if I take diverse approaches and aims to describing those feelings. I really do that, don’t I? But am I doing a good job though, at describing my feelings for him? Yeah, I’m wild for you baby. And that’s NO lie! I want to roam in Nikki’s jungle. Don’t you get it? Understand. Yeah, I’m really sure you understand.

I also heard on the Sixx Sense “Models and Mutts” is hosting an auction with Courtney Bingham. (“Models and Mutts” is a “nonprofit organization” that promotes dog rescuing and/or pet adoption with a little help from the sexy female models.) She said they would be auctioning “autographed books,” “backstage passes,” “personalized dog bowls,” and more. Now please let me have a shot at this. Just laugh, it’s all meant to be funny. [Oh oh! Herec omes another one of sick, perverted jokes! No pun intended! It’s just purely humor!] “Come to my big fucking auction event! We’re auctioning off some fabulous shit! Double Dongs! The Sybian! Flesh Lights! Jack Rabbits! Stripper Poles! Big Rotating Dildos! Penis Pumps! Clit Pumps! Clit Vibrators! Chainsaws! Hacksaws! Men’s Tools! JACK HAMMERS! This and more, all at my auction, so don’t miss it. Go on my web site or type in the key word “sex” on your mobile device! And get right in on the action. See you there, you motherfuckers!” I am just teasing you, see I’m making fun of this, aren’t I? This is meant to make you laugh. It’s just a joke, relax! But did I make you laugh? This is good fun though, seriously.

So now this was my introduction to start my rant on “Models and Mutts.” I agree with Nikki, you guys are a cool company and I like what you stand for. I have three beautiful dogs myself that I love and care for. My family and I take care of them. When I first heard of “Models and Mutts” is when I saw the photo of Courtney naked with that Beagle dog. I thought, “Wait a minute! A woman with a dog naked! I haven’t seen that before! That’s kind of bizarre.” I was actually very repulsed by this. And now I understand the concept behind it so it does not bother me no more. You have to understand where I’m coming from, I’ve seen some pretty disgusting pictures, and I think, “Ewww this is so gross!” I look at everything on the Internet, I know. I would just never pose with my dog Spice naked ever. I don’t know if I really believe in that at all. And Nikki, I heard you comment on this saying that people are looking at the hot woman in the picture. I think they might be looking at the woman more than the dog. But if they notice the dog, good for you, “Models and Mutts.” You guys stand up for a good cause and I love what you stand for. Let’s hope this gets more men (and women) to join the fight to rescue them all! I’m serious. I do love animals; I’m not lying to you. Nikki, do you care about what I’m saying? Damn, I hope you do because, I really love, love, love you so much! Oh no, I hope Nikki Sixx doesn’t tell me that he thinks I’m crazy. I’m not crazy. I’m just different. I’m different from you, and different from everyone else in this world. Well for the most part.

There’s this event that “Models and Mutts” is hosting, Nikki Sixx and Courtney Bingham are going to this event. This is a party at a bar, which you can “RSVP” to or just show up at the door. It’s at a bar. Don’t you fucking get it man? I can’t go! And it sucks! I miss you so fucking much. I’m really upset about this and I’ve clearly stated that on my Twitter page tonight. Nikki, I have a question for you. Why am I not 21 yet? WHY! The event is posted on the “Models and Mutts” web site, titled, “FUNDRASIER with Courtney Bingham and Nikki Sixx.” I so fucking wish I could make it man. Gosh, I hope he doesn’t read this and be all like, “Damn, I’m staying away from her! She’s too much for me.” Oh come on; just give me one chance. Pretty please? I guess you will go to “The Parlour Room” in Hollywood and have your fun WITHOUT ME. Boo hoo! This is a bunch of bullshit, isn’t it? I have a really heartfelt story about adopting my dog, Ginger from the “Carson Animal Shelter.” Keep reading! P.S. Just because I can’t go to a bar doesn’t mean that I’m not an adult! I’m not an adult “age wise,” but I am in my HEART! You hear me, I said in my HEART! Just like you are. Yeah, that’s right I’m an adult just like you are IN MY FUCKING HEART! I’m so sorry, if that was a bit intense for you. These are raw feelings right here. Believe me, being a kid has its benefits though. I hear you one that on one.

I just have this weird ass thought on my mind. I look at the 1980’s pictures of Nikki Sixx and I almost want to cry because, I think nowadays you’re a somewhat of a [“mess” emotionally] to me; no offence baby. [Hell, I’m like that too!] I mean, you’re trying to get married, I know. On your radio show you’re like talking about being a man all the time and how you want to stop being pushed around by others (like in your relationship with Courtney). And I am well aware that you don’t talk about this all the time though. You know that I love you. Honestly, I look at you in the picture with Donna D’Errico in 2005 and I think you looked much better. You look more relaxed; I like your black shades, your designer gray dress shirt. So it’s okay if I think your somewhat of an [“mess” emotionally]. I’ve got a lot of problems too because, I’m very attracted to you. The thought of you almost like “intoxicates me” and I get high just from looking at you. I love it though. Hey I wish I could have talked to you back then too, but times may have been even worse back then. This is how it is without the [partying]. And I love you so much baby. I would never want you to go down that road again either. Neither will I ever go down that road again. See, I know you did drugs back then, that was one reason why this love was meant to be. I wasn’t born then so, now I could meet you when you are “sober.” I mean, who knows what would have happened then, right?
I am seeking editing suggestions, critique, feedback, and reviews. See the whole entire book at my web site thebackgroundofanne.yolasite.c… (This is just 10 pages of the book.) Send me emails at annehill310@yahoo.com
This book is ©annehill 2015.

Friday, March 14, 2014:

A social worker came into our house tonight because; someone made a “false report” on the anonymous hotline about me having “bad hygiene.” I was told the report said, “She smells and her hair is oily.” It’s hard getting up in the morning to be at school, I shower almost every day. (I DO NOT HAVE BAD HYGINE, THIS WAS A LIE.) Someone made this up at my school to get us all scared so I start going to school on time everyday. Fine, you got what you wished for. I mean I’ve hit “rock bottom” and I think I know that already, seriously. The social worker was very nice to us though, so it wasn’t that bad. This is what it comes down to okay; they set me up. (For those of you that don’t know, my “school attendance record” is horrible right now. It’s mostly because my first period class is “Marine Science,” and it’s not my favorite class, honestly.) You know I keep thinking that sometimes “I’m fucked” for life. Because of how marriage is a “lifetime” commitment, I’m “fucked over” for life, get it? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

You know I keep thinking of that night when I met Tommy Lee at the School of Rock, I think that has been one of the best nights of my life so far. I was completely surprised and there was more excitement and anxiety leading up to it all. I think it was better than when I met Nikki, because I was more anxious about it all. Tommy was so nice to me, he spent so much time with us, and he treated me almost like he already knew me. I get emotional about it. I’ll never forget it; that was a really special night for me. Meeting you was special too Nikki, but I didn’t really get to spend a lot of time with you and I ended up telling you something that wasn’t true (it was an accident of coarse). Remember baby, I told you that my Dad was renting me a Ferrari to ride in for my 17th Birthday. My Dad told me a few days after that, “I never said I was going to do that, I never promised that!” I was completely fooled into it. I also remember you said “Bye” to me (and my family) and I had told you (if you heard me), “I’ll see you again next time, I want to see you again.”

My friend kept looking the other way and then looking back at me again. I felt like she was being kind of disrespectful towards me. I think everyone around me knew it to. She would talk to the girl across the table and then look at me again. I could clearly tell she wasn’t interested anymore. I felt like she was acting like I deserved it or something. It’s almost like she couldn’t relate to me at all what so ever. You know true friends don’t do that shit to each other. I know Nikki isn’t like this. So next time I’m not going to tell her how I am doing, and I’m not really going to talk to her for a while (for the most part). She just brought me down further and made me feel even sadder. She made my day worse okay. I know, sometimes I just feel so lonely. But it’s not like I have nobody; I have my guitar teacher. And I know that Tommy is sort of like friends with me. And then there’s this or that person who works at this place or that place. Sometimes I find the adult friends to be better for me because they’re mature and they don’t pull this kind of shit. They’re pretty much always there for you when there’s trouble (make you feel better about it). That’s what true friends are, not some “fair weather friend” bullshit.

I admit, I talk to my Dad a lot. And sometimes I talk to my Mom too. I have at least two other good friends at that school from being in the “West Buddies” club, Lindsey and Katie. Lindsey is closer to me right now. You know, for some strange reason, I find the “boy friends” that I have to be better than the “girl friends” that I have most of the time. I mean this for the adults mostly. I wonder why that is? This is not for everyone who has been friends with me. It’s just that most of my Dad’s “guy friends” are better for me and the guys that work at School of Rock are pretty great too. They’re great at “bringing me up” instead of “bringing me down.” I can provide clear examples too; my girl friends in the past, have kind of just left. My speech teacher even brings me down sometimes. Women can be bitches, all of us. (And guys can be “assholes” or “dick heads” of coarse also.) A lot of my women teachers have made me have bad days.

Girls, when they’re talking to me, for the most part they just like come and go. Now this one boy at my school, Malachi, he’s really nice to me and he almost always seems happy. And there’s this boy who’s going to be the new club leader for the “West Buddies” club and he’s the same way; always seems happy and is pretty nice to everybody. Tommy’s like that too and Nikki’s sweet. Oh my god, what am I saying here? Hey I try to be on the “up and up” okay. I try to be the nice, caring, upbeat, happy, a non-bitchy person. I have to try really hard to be that way sometimes too. I have to go to bed now! I have to be at school tomorrow on time! I have to go to bed now! I have to be at school tomorrow on time! I am also happy to say that Ms. Honey and I have been getting along much better now! She has a great sense of humor (and that really helps matters)! I don’t hold a grudge anymore; I’m over that now; thank god.

Thursday, March 13, 2014:

I’ve been having a really bad night. I watched Nikki Sixx and Courtney Bingham’s wedding special on “ET” and I screamed at the top of my lungs. (I filmed my reaction to it also, so you will probably be able to find it on YouTube.) I’ve lost control of myself. Yesterday morning I was having a “panic attack” because of a power point project that supposedly due today (but my lab partner and I worked that out later). I am really disappointed with you because, I saw that you were being kind of mean on Twitter yesterday. She said you were “ignoring her texts” and you were going to ground her (jokingly). And I started thinking; what are you drinking again? I know Nikki Sixx will never have sex with me. I’ll never get to have sex with him. It’s just fucking sad. And I’m still fucking “illegal,” I know you like to talk about that shit. How I am going to deal with this is that I’m just going to freak out okay. I’m going to get wild. And I already have man. This marriage for me is almost like the end of the world; it means I can’t have sex. I have strong feelings for him; I don’t want to fuck anyone else. If you’re the type who wants to have sex with more than one person, I don’t feel that way! I just want him and him only, unfortunately. My sex life is in ‘handcuffs’ bitch. I don’t even know why I’m even sober anymore? My sobriety is a health decision now; it’s no longer a spiritual thing. I apologize for talking shit but I need to declare myself here. All his fans are celebrating; I’m not celebrating! What is there for me to celebrate? There is absolutely nothing for me to celebrate motherfucker.

I’m going to make sure I get more sex toys too, so I can stay happy. Strangely I have taken more interest in my dildo more often now. My happiness has been completely turned upside-down. Everyone is celebrating; I can’t take it anymore. I hate this baby. I’d bet you wouldn’t even thank everyone for “congratulatory tweets.” [Actually he did “thank” everyone, I found out later.] Look, I want to take it this way; I’m hating on your “marriage,” I’m not hating on you. I love you and if you don’t want to have sex with me, I need to respect that. I want you to at least give me one chance and then you can tell me “No.” Is that fair enough? I can’t sleep. I’ll admit, I’m monogamous too. I just fell in love with Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe that’s all. And trust me, it’s not fun anymore, it’s been really tough to deal with, it’s NOT like what I’d thought it would it be like. It’s a fucking “love war.” Who’s winning? I know you don’t care about me. You’re not my “role model” anymore; I’m a “free spirit” now. I still want to fuck you. I still love you. I still need you. And if you’re having a hard time understanding what I’m going through everyday, you can talk to me, because I’d probably be able to get my points across better that way. I’m not going to be mad at you forever either. Right now is just a very dark time. Listen, LIFE SUCKS. I just really want to give this relationship a try. I mean all I really need to know is that “you love me” (which you might not) and that you’ll hopefully have sex with me before you die. Love is the magic word bro, be careful how you use it. Courtney crushed my dreams okay, straight up. All of my dreams are crushed. I hope that because I had to go through all this “PAIN” that maybe if Nikki Sixx does get with me, maybe he’ll be with me longer. Because you may know from reading this book how much it hurt me. I know it’s going to get messy bro, real quickly here. Landslide! That’s why I am going to try to focus on brining out my ‘inner-self,’ instead of being a reflection of Nikki.

And Nikki, just to let you know, dick makes me happy. If you want to cheer me up, that’s what you got to do. At least just show it to me. That will make me happy. I can’t do my homework either, my Mom tries to get me to do it, but it always fails. I’m going to make sure that I finish this damn book too, and thank you for reading it. Thanks a million! (I want to have this book out by September 2014 or sooner.) I wonder, how in the hell I’m going to get the black 70’s “Pontiac Trans Am?” Oh yeah and in January 2015, I’ll be legal. So go fuck yourself! Look I’m sorry if I offended you, but writing is my way of dealing with my life. Writing is my “drug.” It makes me feel a lot better, trust me. It’s what keeps me sane. So then I guess I’m not sober, because writing is my drug and I’m on it! And one more thing, when I say, “I want to fuck you;” what I really mean is that “I want make love to you” because, I have feelings for you. I just don’t like saying it that way for the most part, that’s why I say “fuck” instead. Get what I’m saying here? I admit to the fact that Tommy Lee is starting to become more of my real role model now, I’m reading his book Tommylandon my Kindle. at school and I’m very impressed with it dude. Thank you, Tommy. I did do everything in my power try to find Nikki Sixx when he was single in 2010. I was shot down and I failed miserably. I’m just telling you because; you might bring up the “she had him first” thing. It was just the wrong time, I was on still partying, I was fucking thirteen, and it was like insane. I was like on Myspace trying to be a model and like trying to get in a magazine and I had took an interest in “Playboy.” I was having my Dad driving to places close to where Nikki Sixx and Kat Von D used go on dates, like this “café place” for instance. That year (in 2010), on Halloween, we drove through Beverly Hills and I saw those kids “Trick-or-Treating,” I was hoping to see you taking your kids “Trick-or-Treating” that night. Yes it was insanity! To everyone’s dismay, that was my past, I’ll never go back there EVER again, and everyone should be aware of the shit that I had to endure. Oh the messes that I got myself into. This book is also about my past and the mistakes that I have made.

Only if I were high there is a very slight chance I might be more open to fucking someone else. When I was partying at 12 and 13; I felt like that back then [more open minded]. (That is if you were having any hopes off getting me off your back.) But don’t worry, I’m not even considering “drugs” as an option. First of all drugs are illegal. Second of I know damn well how it can mess up your life. Last but not least I know that drugs can kill you, and I’ve almost been there too. But for the most part it’s more of a health decision now than right from wrong decision.
I want to get a “Trans Am” but since that car starred in the “Smoky and the Bandit” movie those cars have became pretty expensive. I was thinking about maybe getting a 1970’s “Pontiac Firebird,” hopefully with the “Trans Am” logo on it. I want it to be black with that logo painted gold on it ideally, exactly what a “Trans Am” would be like.

This is to all you haters out there, if you hate me then I hate you too. This is a message for you if you’re wondering why I hate “How2Girl.” 1) This fashion thing that she’s into really creeps me out (it just turns me off). I don’t like her sense of fashion. 2) She did something on “Valentine’s Day 2012” (I listen to the Sixx Sense, for those of you that don’t remember). 3) Don’t like the some of the bad things I’ve heard about her from Nikki on the Sixx Sense. 4) The “How2Girl” videos are okay but it annoys me, and I quickly lose interest. 5) I honestly don’t like the way she talks, sorry. 6) She has a huge ego and a lot of swag, which irritates me, but that’s never a bad thing. We could have possibly been friends of this shit never happened. She took something away from me and now I can never get it back. She stole my pride. I’m sorry that I feel this way. Nikki, I’m a cool person and you know that. Deep down inside I’m cool and I’ll reason with you. I am reasonable. I can’t wait to get some calls from people that are like his family or his friends on my phone. Let’s talk about it. I want to be buddies with Nikki’s kids. I don’t want there to be any tension between us. It’s all about accepting me for who I am. Hopefully then things will be all right, or not?

Tuesday, March 11, 2014:

I see these “fun and exciting” wedding tweets, but now I’ve got something even worse going on deep down inside. I’m actually getting excited to break the rules! I actually want to have sex with Nikki while he’s “married,” it’s like what I always wanted to do, ever since I knew that he was fucking “married” to Donna. I’m like infected with this wanting to have sex with a “married man” disease now. It’s contagious, so what the fuck? I know I can’t do it. Nikki Sixx and Courtney Bingham would have to split first. I’m actually getting excited about “adultery” now? So this is what’s going to keep me going for the next three years? What the fuck? Knowing what’s wrong with this has never been so exciting. All I think about is Nikki Sixx inside of me, and I’m serious too bro. I really want to throw this “virginity” thing away too. Throw that “dirty towel” in the garbage! At this point, that’s all I have to be excited about. And if you don’t love me, then we’re done. I’m sorry too but I can’t help it, that was my dream and she stole it from me! At least I’m honest despite how evil I can be. The only cure is Nikki, so bring him to me; I dare you to. He’s gonna have to re-marry. Now you feel fucking sorry for me that I’m not getting any (from you). Maybe Nikki needs to convert to a swinger. I mean I don’t want to make Courtney upset and cry, but just the thought of breaking the rules is really exciting for me right now. Doesn’t mean I’m actually going to do that or not. Depends on what Nikki Sixx (the prophet) says.

If Nikki and I were to get married, I don’t need an “engagement ring,” I don’t need a “formal wedding” either, we can make our own wedding, and my Dad can be the “bishop.” I have not been able to wake up for school in the morning for like the last week, (Friday, Monday, and now Tuesday) and I’m not doing well. My grandma is actually mad at me because, I haven’t been going to school on time. I am struggling to do homework and I’m failing most of my classes. I am very down and out right now and I want “unconditional love.” Right now I don’t feel like anyone loves me, and I need it bad. I feel that my love for Nikki is very spiritual so secretly, I am hoping that one day it will bloom. I don’t die want being a “virgin” and I’m waiting for my “prince” Nikki, I’ll wait a lifetime. Since I am so disappointed, depressed, and sick with Nikki’s “marriage” to Courtney I am trying to give him up as a “role model.” I am trying very hard at this also. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you, I’m just trying to find the true meaning in life, and I’m trying to feel like I’m free from the oppression. My love for Nikki is very deep. And if you think he is my role model still, I just don’t want to admit it or face it right now. I’ll use an example here of what I’m talking about, you got this kid who really looks up to his church pastor. Every time he makes a decision he thinks of his pastor. He worries whether or not his pastor would condone his actions, his choices, or anything else that he does with his life. It’s like you have this diagram in your head; “I can’t do this, this, this, and this.” I’m trying to move away from this “role model” thing and say “Yes! I can do this!”

How I am going to deal with my problems so that I’m going to live my life with this, “Do as I please” attitude. And it makes me feel much better. I want to also make sure that I get a mobile phone soon so I can get a Instagram and a Vine so I can go fucking crazy. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to get my hands on the biggest, baddest muscle car out there. So I am thinking about getting a black 70’s “Trans-Am.” My Dad tells me that my first car should be a car that isn’t a really nice car, because the first years of driving can be really tough. (There is always a possibility the car could get damaged.) I went to this pizza place in Redondo Beach, CA called “Pedone’s” today and I was talking about the fact that once Nikki gets his mits on this book that he might not even want to be friends with me at all. Baby I know that it upsets you knowing that I want to fuck you. And you may be saying to yourself, “Gosh, I want nothing to do with her.” I know your just fuming because I said that I love you. Knowing that just makes you really upset doesn’t it? Now, I think that you’re so infatuated with Courtney to the point where you don’t want to let the rest of the world in. You don’t want to listen to anyone else’s point of view, including mine. You must want to put this book down. The only reason why I’m putting this book out there for everyone to read, including you; is so that I don’t feel like a “failure.” If you don’t read this book, I’ll feel like I’m a “failure.” It’s better to just be honest with you than to just give you a bunch of “sugar coated bullshit.” Even I know that. Even if there is a price to be paid. It’s better than just lying about it just to save a potential friendship with you. I’m a good person okay; I don’t want to be a bad person. You must know that because, you’ve already met me. Now come back to me and tell me that you love me. I only want what’s best for you and me. And if I can’t get what’s best, then I can’t get what’s best, maybe I can at least get something. And something is better than nothing. And you must not know that sometimes I tear up when I think about you. So I hope that you know now. This girl loves you okay. She does and she means it, big time honey!

I saw some old photos of me when I was younger and some old artwork that I made, and I’ve been getting flashbacks tonight. I’m starting to remember how I feel in love with Nikki. I was in my Dad’s room, he was showing me his CD’s, and he showed me a Mötley Crüe CD. This CD was the “Shout at The Devil” album, I saw Nikki’s picture of the album cover, and I can recall seeing the backside of the album cover, it was that famous photograph in front of the sheets of needles with blue light shining behind the band. [You know my Dad denies even having this CD in the house at that time, so then I probably saw it in a record store. But my Dad doesn’t have the best memory either.] Nikki, you had your elbow on Vince’s left shoulder, so that should help you identify what photo I’m talking about. If I can accurately recall this memory, it was when my family first moved in our house in Los Angeles, CA. Either my Dad showed me the CD or I discovered it by myself. [He claims now that the CD was NOT the in the house, that it was at a fucking record store. And maybe he showed it to me over there or something like that. What if somebody else like a stranger had showed it to me?] I remember thinking something like; “They look so cute.” I was too young to know what was really happening to me, that I had fallen in love. Even if I didn’t know what the word “cute” was, it was something along the lines of “adorable.” Like the reaction you get when you look at a golden retriever puppy or a little kid with their teddy bear. It didn’t ‘scare me, shock me, or strike me as funny at all.’ I felt quite the opposite, and I knew that I was starting to feel this especially for the guy on the top left corner (on the “Shout at The Devil” album cover) with the “fluffy black hair.” My love for him grew gradually, and slowly, as I started to learn more about him and see him star in music videos with his band, likewise “Looks that Kill” was the first music video I remember seeing. And if it wasn’t “Looks that Kill,” then it was “Too Young to Fall in Love.” I’m not really sure which one it was, as nobody remembers, especially me. So that’s the story, and I’m sticking to it unless I find out differently (like if someone proves my story to be wrong). When this happened it was 1998, 1999, or 2000. I think it happened in 1999, when I was two years old, because the house was pretty empty at first when we moved in. I know when I was like a little baby, somewhere; somehow I had heard Mötley Crüe and I loved it! The first song I heard was by them “Dr. Feelgood.” I keep thinking that I heard it on the car radio, on the TV, or in the house. I could have even heard it playing inside a building, like a store for instance. So it was all destined to happen.

Besides, when we lived in the condo and I was a newborn baby, some band members from Great White were our neighbors. (And they hit on my Mom too, damn.) My Dad told me about it. And you all know that Great White were “Mötley cop-outs,” right? [I absoluteley just HATE “Mötley cop-outs.” I can’t stand them!] As for as the “Shout at The Devil” CD goes, just know this; I wanted to hold Nikki like a teddy bear okay. It was a very special moment in my life when I held that CD (if I even did hold it, maybe I just happen to see it); I can remember the young emotions that were running through me. It’s unforgettable. So then I must have a very special connection with the “Shout at The Devil” album here, but “Too Fast for Love” is still my favorite “Mötley” album. I also had used the computer a lot. I documented that on various illustrations when I was younger. I believe it was when I first started using “Google,” I saw more pictures of Mötley Crüe. The “dial-up” Internet was so slow; my abilities to see things were limited. I could only go to web sites at that time and see more pictures from the “Shout at the Devil” era. I think there might be a chance that I did see current pictures of Nikki Sixx (or photos him with Mötley Crüe) from that time as they were being published online. (I think that was around the year 2000; by 2001 I started “Pre School” so I was not using the computer as often. But I was still using the computer probably during weekends.) [You know I have this real strange memory of being on the swingsets, and I had this like ‘imaginary friend’ sitting on the swing next to me. And guess who that “imaginary friend” was? That’s right, none other than Nikki Sixx (80’s “Shout At The Devil” Nikki Sixx) That’s how much you had really meant to me, back then I didn’t know the difference between the “new millennium” time that we were in from the 80’s. I swear that it could have been him, he was like my imaginary friend. It’s hard to imagine, isn’t it? Does that get to your “heart?” Just a little bit man?] All I know is that when I first saw that “Shout at the Devil” album, something magical happened okay. I also liked wolves when I was little too; I stood behind a wolf quilt in Kindergarten. I made a wolf portrait at some point in time when I was younger. I had also made a ceramic wolf too. I speculate that I might be a wolf reincarnated into a human body. I don’t know?

Sunday, March 09, 2014:

I know the next few months here are going to be really hard for me. And I can’t let it get the better of me. Yes, I look at your Twitter and Courtney’s Twitter, of coarse I do. Mick Mars says, “Mötley Crüe is dead” and I’m dead too because this “marriage thing” is going to eat me for a long, long time. You know what? Reading those tweets just makes me feel so uncomfortable. And if I didn’t like who you’re marrying then how can I say you’re my “role model?” I simply just can’t go ahead and say that. I definitely feel like you got me by the ankles and your shaking me just to see that money falling out of my pockets. Anything that I had in mind, I can’t do that with you because, we’ve got our hands tied to the wall. All I know is that one day I’m going to get a really nice car and I’m going to drive it until I’m happy, I’m going to cruise around LA, until I’m happy. I’m going to have my hands full, and that’s guaranteed! I have a big problem with you man, and this time I’m not afraid to say it. First of all, you’re too picky about the women’s bodies. Just let it go, seriously. I’m going to try and get nice legs for you okay. So just calm down already before you may go insane from reading my fucking book. Yes, Courtney you did ruin my dreams but, I don’t exist so I guess that’s just okay. I absolutely agree with what Nikki Sixx said on the Sixx Sense, withholding sex isn’t romantic. My idea of romance is more like being in a boat cruising along the water streets of Venice, Italy. I mean, who doesn’t agree with me on that one? I guess the “reputation” is better than the brain. Because I have damn well entered the brain to learn that it’s a dark place. This is very deep, but you know what I’m trying to say right? I’m fighting to get him to love me. This book is nothing but a fucking big battle. I fuck with persuasion. Why? Well, I said it, Nikki Sixx is going to get married four times, or only three times and this will be his last divorce. Either that or they stay married forever while they manage to get me locked up in jail. (I’m just being sarcastic. Of coarse I don’t want to go to jail!) Damn the future doesn’t look bright for any one.

You know I really want another dildo and if you hear this, you’re going to think I’m really weird, oh well I guess that’s the way it goes. I want to get this “big dildo,” and hey you know I want a big penis in my life, especially during times like these. I’m going to get a “dildo” and this one I’m not going to use. This one is just to look at, admire, and to cuddle with. (I TOLD YOU YOU’RE GOING TO THINK I’M FUCKING WEIRD!) It’s kind of like a teddy bear. And you know what, if you think that I’m motherfucking weird, fuck you! Seriously! I am stuck in this situation and you know I don’t fucking like it! I haven’t got it yet but this is what I want right now, it’s what my imagination wants at least. So I was going to get this fucking dildo and I was thinking I could decorate it a little bit like tie a ribbon around it or something. Yes, I know it’s weird, it’s “highly personal” business, and I’m only telling you this because I want you to fucking realize how pathetic and miserable I really am. Ask yourself, what does this tell you about me? And I want Nikki to answer this question, this time, let him answer it. Sorry, I have to drag you down this dark cave but maybe there’s like a light at the end of it all. I have to do homework now so bye. I saw Mick Mars on That Metal Show. I noticed all the hardcover and paperback books you guys (Eddie Trunk and Jim Florentine) were showing off. I still want that audience to read my book in the format it is in. This is a good piece of literature. I would love to talk to Mick Mars one day; he seems like a really nice person.

Monday, March 10, 2014:

I changed my essay topic from my Nikki Sixx story to “Autism and making friends.” I wrote this essay for school, it’s for my teacher, therefore it’s just a snapshot of my life. And it’s not the whole story. I don’t really trust any body with my Nikki Sixx story, I think it’s the right thing to keep it quiet, and it’s even worse for me now that he’s practically “married” now. That’s not true that I was a loner all seventh grade, I did have adult friends outside of school. People who worked in shops in Hermosa Beach and in Hollywood were my “friends.” In sixth grade I also had people who were messaging me on Myspace and I also had that happening in eighth grade. My Dad was really my only friend at that time. As you may already know, I also left out the details of the Nikki Sixx story. I beg you it’s true, I have been having a crush on him probably since the year 2000 or possibly even before then. I was that age, believe it because it’s true. It only took one good look at him to trigger it all too. So I left out all the shit about the partying too. That all started very early in my Middle School years. [I was doing that regauarily on sort of a daily basis] by seventh grade. In elementary school, the only other “friends” I’ve had [were this one other girl] in first grade, a boy named Tomio (he was my best friend’s friend), and another girl named Megan. In fifth grade I hung out with the popular kids and let them give me a makeover. However when I tried hanging out with them again at this Halloween dance event in early sixth grade, they gave me the cold shoulder, especially the more dominant girl.

“A Autistic Twist of Fate – Making Friends” (Original Draft Version)

“In the year 2000 I was three years old. I was diagnosed with Autism spectrum disorder at the Harbor Regional Center. I had a speech impairment and I remember being sensitive to loud noises. Despite my Autism, my parents enrolled me in Pre School a year later in 2001. I had cope with being separated from my parents and being around other kids and grown-ups.

In 2003, I entered my first year of elementary school in Kindergarten. Kindergarten was not fun in particular, several other kids who would pinch me and push me around bullied me. They would tease me because they knew that I was different from them. When I was in Kindergarten an older boy accidentally knocked me down on the black top giving me a concussion. In first grade my teacher almost sent me to the principle office due to meltdown behavior related to my Autism. In second grade my teacher accused me of lying, due to my Autism I was sensitive to being wet, I had went to bathroom to change my clothes. She had sent me home crying that day after school let out.

I only had one close friend in Elementary School; her name was my best friend. My Kindergarten teacher, Ms. Suey, had paired us up together. I would hang out with her everyday of school for the rest of my life all the way up until sixth grade. I was constantly teased and harassed about being with this one friend all of the time by the others. They would frown at me, tell me that they think I’m weird, some of them thought I was ugly. One thing that my peers thought is that I would never make any friends. In other words, they thought that I would never have more than one friend besides just my best friend.

In Middle School making friends my own age was a challenge for me. Once I entered sixth grade, I made friends with my friend; she was a new student who had just moved here from Pakistan. my best friend and I quickly made friends with her. We all hung out together as a group of three until half way through my sixth grade year. My friend told me that she just wanted to hang out with me, and she told me to tell my best friend that she had to go. My friend would pressure me to do it and get me to be honest with her about my best friend’s controlling ways. My friend got her wish, her and I pushed my best friend out of our gang. The other half of my sixth grade year, my friend and I just hung out together. We talked and talked and talked. I remember having really wild conversations with her. When My friend and I were all alone together, that was the beginning of my dark days in my life. My friend was the only friend that I would hang out with for the rest of that year including the summer too. Before the first day of seventh grade, I had received a phone call from her that she wanted to end our friendship and hang out with someone else. I was heart broken, she was like a girlfriend to me.

So when I entered into my seventh grade year, she would approach me to try to make up for what was lost in that conversation. I just didn’t want to talk to her anymore. I was determined to go my own way. During my seventh grade year in Middle School I had became a complete social misfit, I wouldn’t talk to hardly anybody except for the adults that I had trusted. The summer that followed after I left My other middle school for good would make 2010 the worst year in my whole entire life.

In September 2010, I went to My middle school on my first day of eighth grade. I had developed a problem back then; there was a problem with the way that I dressed. The way that I was dressing was attracting negative attention from my peers. That school had a few specialists including the counselor and their principle who would both be the people who would talk to me and ultimately help guide me out of this dark time that I was going through in my life. They both helped get me on the right track so I would not dress like that anymore.

Throughout the year 2011, I started making plenty of friends both young and old. I was not only gaining friends; I was surrounded with a crowd of people who would have a positive influence on me. I had friends who were in seventh grade, I had friends in my own grade, and I was good friends with pretty much every teacher that I had that year. My middle school was a really good experience for me overall; there were only some incidences that happened during that year that made some moments suck. Both boys and girls kind of like harassed me about my sexuality. Boys would always try to hit on me almost every other day of the week. Some girl was trying to get me provocatively dance in the hallway. One boy was trying to even get me to touch his private parts. There were some other boys in the cafeteria that gave me a sexually explicit picture, and you know what I did with their picture? I crinkled it up and I threw it in the garbage! Luckily, I always had people to talk to make up for the bad times though.

On September 8th, 2011 I would enter my first day of my freshmen year at West High School. Since I have Autism, on my IEP, I had a service provided to me called, “ASSIST.” The young lunch club teacher lady was really nice to me. She helped me get in new friendships with students and most importantly she took me to this club here at West High called “West Buddies.” I was introduced to Jacyln, and she introduced me to rest of the kids who were also in the club. Jacyln invited me to club events like the Halloween party and the Christmas party.

I really started making more friends that year. I signed up with this program called, “The Friendship Circle” and I would socialize with kids doing their events. One of the big events was the bon fire at Dockweiler Beach. In 2012 (which was my sophomore year) I would make even more friends as new members joined the club. Now I have a lot of friends. I’ve met people in my speech class, in West Buddies, in the Friendship Circle, in ceramics class, and so on. I have friends of all ages, I have people who are friends with me outside of school also. My school peers in Middle School and in elementary school are proven wrong. Little did they know that in the future how many friends I’d make and how well known I’d be among them all.”

Friday, March 07, 2014:

During the day, I think of what I want to write about in this book, unfortunately most of it goes right over my head, and consequently, I forget about it. First of all, I am suspicious that Nikki Sixx really does have a good endowment. To me really a good dick is anything eight inches or over. [It doesn’t matter whether it’s] a “Grower” or a “Shower,” a dick can be very big. Listening to the Sixx Sense, I found out that Nikki negotiated with Courtney, so it’s not like he’s completely starving, so that’s good for him. “Partridge in a Pear Tree,” I know exactly what that means Nikki. I’m so good with like sexual conversation, sexual innuendoes, and what not, I’m only 17 and I don’t miss a beat! Except for when I thought DP meant “Deep Penetration” and not “Double Penetration.” Everyone here hopefully knows that I love Nikki and I think that I’m not just “the better woman” for him, I’m “the better person for him” right here! I’m a better match people, for several reasons! If I could boost my age and my height, then I would be the fucking perfect candidate. The only problem is that I’m too young to be a Mom, and it’s not that I can’t do it, it’s just that I’m way too young. That could be the only thing that can bring the relationship down south. For your information, in the world outside of this book, yes, I do try to be the best “role model” I can and try to provide a good example for the younger people.

Nikki, I also hear you have a lot of problems with women, right bro? Listen to me and I’ll tell you something about ‘the dick’ (but maybe you already knew this). This may help everyone better understand where we women are coming and that were all not crazy (at least I’m not). The dick isn’t just something that hangs there off of your crotch and gets hard. Especially if you pull it out and show it to a girl, when it’s hard, that thing will like evoke emotions out of her that you’ve never seen man. That thing can make us very emotional, trust me, I feel this way about you. Of coarse I do say that I love it, and that is your dick that you were born with. But isn’t that beautiful? And you know that “the dick” mostly evokes happy emotions out of us, it can bring great happiness and joy. For some women (NOT me) that’s the only happiness and joy that they’ll ever get out of their man. So did I help you answer any questions that you had? Good.
    
I heard you also say on the Sixx Sense, that Courtney is the “pee police,” and I think that’s very thoughtful of you that you weren’t trying to be rude by not flushing the toilet while talking to her. That’s why I love you! Your very nice, kind, and tender towards people, but you’re only rude when people piss you off, of coarse man. [And I pissed him off on Twitter in July 2014, oops!] It doesn’t a lot take to flush a toilet and I would have flushed it for you and not “bitched” at you about it. I’m serious bro. And if you like to put a cup on the counter and not put it in the dishwasher, that’s fine too, I do that too bro. Especially the “peeing thing,” I really don’t care, so I’m really cool with it. You just have to open your heart and assess all of the facts; maybe only then you’ll have me in your life. Another thing is that I have almost identical musical taste to you, Nikki, and of coarse I’ll go listen you all that music your tweeting about or Instagraming about. I just did some of that yesterday. I heard you were into this rapper called Riff Raff, and I guess he really isn’t all that bad, right? I mean was mesmerized by this Canadian interview on YouTube, he’s into Bon Jovi and Fleetwood Mac, that’s pretty cool. I watched a few music videos yesterday, including “Dolce and Gabbana” and damn, that just made me feel jealous, you know why? I WANT A NICE PAIR OF LEGS TOO. My legs just don’t look like that right now, and I want this, I know legs are the most important thing to guys next to boobs or the ass! And guess what people? I’m going to find it what it takes to get a nice pair of legs. I’m not just doing it for the guys like Nikki, it’s a personal thing too, like maybe my self-confidence will sky rocket, my sex life will be awesome, whatever comes with it man. I’m 5’2”, that’s short, as you’all may know, I think I might be slowly growing sideways, so I got to put a stop to that. Oh yeah and I also watched some Die Antwoord videos, and they’re okay, nothing special for me really. The “I Fink U Freeky” video made me smile because we all know, as it may be obvious, that it’s about sex. I think most of they’re songs are about sex, as I saw that in the music videos. Sex for me is a thing in music, if there’s a really great song about that out there, and it’s of a different genre that I don’t listen to, I’ll go listen to it if it’s like really dirty and stuff. I watch a lot of music videos, and in music videos, “furries” (people in animal costumes) are very popular these days. So I shouldn’t have a real big problem trying to make it, being popular, or being famous. I’m probably going to be more famous than I think that I will be right now. I love doing that because it brings out things in me that I can’t bring out when I’m not wearing that costume. So that’s why wearing costumes is fun in general, no matter what you stand for.

I also did some more research about the McKagans yesterday, since I didn’t know a lot about them. Today I know that Duff McKagan has two daughters and that Grace has a band called, “The Pink Slips.” I so regret not waving to Duff McKagan as he walked by me, it just didn’t click with because my mind was on the Black Sabbath concert, and I already knew who he was, I even was following his Twitter account. So, “Oh Shoot!” Oh yeah and I remember on the Sixx Sense you were also talking with Kerri Kasem about that “monthly cycle,” yeah I hate that, I hate how it won’t just go away already, and you think that it’s out faults or something? Hey, don’t be so mean about it okay, it’s something we all I have deal with. Oh I’m just kidding Nikki, I know you’re not being mean. I’m just reminding you not to be that way. I mean then you would be an “asshole,” and you don’t want to be an “asshole,” right? It’s not my fault that I have to deal with that, I wish I could not have to deal with it, and I could live life JUST FINE without it. To be honest with you, it’s a real “PAIN IN THE ASS,” especially if you want to go swimming!

The Mötley Crüe girls, there is even a Twitter account dedicated to them (called @MotleyCrüeGirls), they’re almost like a gang, just like you guys in the band are. If it were me for you, and not Courtney, would I potentially be breaking up that gang? The only Mötley Crüe girl I’ve met is Tommy’s girl Sofia Toufa, and she was very nice to us (at the School of Rock West LA). At least I’ve met one of them, now I guess this what I do to become one of them? Say what! I don’t really care, I just want to see Nikki again, really, and then some. So anyhow it looks like to me that Nikki Sixx is going to have real wild sex on his “wedding night.” And you sure did have “wild crazy sex” didn’t you? Honestly I’m hoping that your emotions get so strong that you make a “sex tape.” (Why am I saying this?) I need to see your “puppet,” I’d go anywhere, do anything, all just to see it. I’d even watch you fuck a girl just to look at it. You were talking about doing that on your honeymoon. Yes no? Wait until I find out where you guys are going, uh I can’t wait NOT! One thing you should know about me is that I have very strong feelings for you, especially as a fan. And it’s not weird, Nikki, it’s just what life brings you. Now the last thing I need for you to do is go calling me a “stalker.” Yeah, that would be just wonderful! About the Sixx Sense thing with women, I’m proud of you that you ‘recognized that “we have it hard” because of all the emotions that we deal with. Good job! I was congratulating you when I heard that! So I know deep down inside my heart that you are the right man for me. And I always know that I’m an “obsessive fan,” I admit it. And I guess that’s just the way it goes, and that just means that you’re a really great person, Nikki. Because why would anybody want to obsess over a “bad person,” right? Well I know that people have their reasons why they would. Holy shit! I have to get ready for school today! Bye.

My love for Nikki Sixx is so intense (believe it or not) it feels like getting hit with a brick. If you know me, if you talk to me, it’s pretty obvious that I love him so much despite how much I hate some of the decisions he’s made, like marrying Courtney. One of the reasons why I may say, “I hate it” is because I wish that were me walking down the aisle. I was kind of feeling teary eyed as I was thinking of him tonight. I really actually do appreciate him as a photographer, I think he is amazing. And I remember when This Is Gonna Hurt was published there was this one picture of him holding a cane, and that really touches me. I think when Nikki Sixx holds a cane like that it means something different, it may be his way of showing some hidden emotions like tenderness, compassion, or sadness. That’s my interpretation of it. I remember in 2012 how Nikki took a picture of himself shirtless in front of a mirror and how everyone was really upset about it. I wasn’t. I look at it differently; he was just showing you an intimate photo of what he was doing before the show starts. I have that printed picture on my wall in my room and actually it is really comforting to look at it. A lot of people react when I tell them about my love for Nikki Sixx and tell me that they’re shocked because “he’s too old.” I just don’t see life this way. You see I know of something called the “generation gap” and I think in some ways that it can be really barbaric. When an older person can connect with a younger person and if they can also cherish each other; I think that is an extremely beautiful thing. It brings tears to my eyes to see how kind and sweet an older person can be towards a younger person of a generation proceeding theirs. Now can you please just see where I’m coming from here? It is incredible to break the “barbarism” in the generation gap, and the world would be a better place if that could be broken more often. My love doesn’t discriminate by age, and I’ve never known “love” to discriminate. “Love” is just something that comes alive in people. “Love” can bring the most distant people together, and that’s something that I really do believe in. What I mean by “distant” is that all different types of people can fall in love together. Even people of the same gender can fall in love, as we all may know that.

Now let me tell you more about your penis, I was thinking about this topic over a little bit more today, and I think that the penis can bring feelings of warmth and love to me in particular. I feel those feelings deep down inside sometimes when I’m looking at a “big erect penis.” This is more truths and insights about women, directly from me myself, so I hope you appreciate it guys. I remember when I was younger I would also watch a TV program called “MADtv” and I also saw a lot of YouTube videos from this show. I remember this series on that program called “Stuart,” I used to watch those videos and I used to laugh and laugh and laugh at it. I just watched a video clip of the “Stuart” show for the first time in like 5 years, I just wonder how did he get his voice to be so high pitched, it almost sounds like he ‘inhaled a helium balloon. One thing I also notice, another reason why this program is so funny, is because there are so many sexual references. I wonder what kind of affect that had on me when I was younger? Hey, at least I thought it was funny. So I know of quite a few funny people like Jerry Lewis, Will Farrell (from “Saturday Night Live”), and this Michael McDonald guy from “MADtv.”

I can’t help but admit it man, but Nikki was sexy even when he was on heroin, it’s true even though it may sound dark. I see some really nice pictures of him out there from 1987. I think he was really cute when he was younger, he’s still cute now especially when he’s smiling. It’s not as cute when he’s not smiling (but that doesn’t mean he’s not sexy), that’s when he the cutest to me. Oh hell, why do we use the word “cute” to describe someone attractive? I Google the word “cute” and I get this definition, “having a pleasing and usually youthful appearance” from “Merriam Webster.” You know what else I really like, I was just looking at an older photo of you from your London days and it seems like you have really big, puffy, sexy, juicy lips. I hope you don’t mind me saying that and take it as a compliment. I mean really it does seem like that, you’re lips look all puckered out, maybe it’s from smoking because, you know you have to pucker your lips on the cigarette (or the joint for that matter). Well, I’ve thought about it, I would have put out for you back in your London days! You know I love you. Let me tell you one more thing, that picture of young Nikki holding the puppies chokes me up. When I see those pictures of you as a little boy, if I really think about it a lot, I’ll start to choke up. That’s why I can’t have it up on my computer screen too long, unless I really want to start crying because it’s getting deep into my heart. The teenager pictures kind of do the same thing to me too. Yeah, I’m sensitive that way.

“I heard you were into this rapper called Riff Raff, and I guess he really isn’t all that bad, right?” I used to love Dirty Nasty’s music video for his song “1980” and I can still look at it nowadays and I’m still laughing. I swear that I saw Jack Nicolson in the video too. You know I was thirteen when I first saw it obviously. The only song I ever listened to by Mickey Avalon was “My Dick” and I first heard that at the same time. I also knew about Andy Milonakis too in 2010, I heard this song by him called “Let Me Twitter Dat.” I can’t believe it, I already knew about two out of the three rappers in the Three Loco group and Nikki was into Riff Raff this year! Holy shit! To be honest with you, no I don’t really like rap that much, I just like watching music videos and exploring to see what is out there in the current music scene. Like right now, I’m on YouTube watching Three Loco’s “NEATO” music video. And I also know that everyone else is watching too! I also had seen all of them in this LMFAO music video titled, “I Can’t Dance” on YouTube in 2010, in fact that may have been how I even found out about them in the first place. I forgot to tell you, Susan Homles McKagan also tweeted me one time too. She tweeted at me about the Black Sabbath concert that I went to, because she was there with her husband, Duff.

Now I want to write more about High School. “There’s such an established rivalry between the two, students verses experienced adults.” (Tuesday, March 4th, 2014) Today I was talking with my Dad, and I went more in depth into this rivalry. Some adults think that they’re above the rules. I know that “hell” isn’t a cuss word, okay, but it isn’t very nice (especially in a high school). My point is that we have to follow rules that they don’t have to follow. I let this one football coach say to me one time, “What the hell are you thinking?” I feel really sick with myself for letting him get away with it. The next time something like that happens, I may just have my Mom report it. I’m sick of it! If it were one of my teachers, that would be a different story, but if it’s someone that I don’t even know and they’re being rude to me! I’m having my Mom report it next time! Most of the students, maybe like half of them, don’t even care about their education, they care about their grades and their homework doesn’t mean you necessarily care about your “education.” So they just put up with snotty, rude, obnoxious people and let it continue. And there really is nothing I can do about it. This is just another thing about High School that really pisses me off. You get no respect man. My ceramics teacher has been getting a little bit cranky lately because a lot of kids are breaking the rules. Being there is like being in the real world, there are lots and lots of people who work there, and it’s almost like a town in itself. I mean, I see this guy walking out of a classroom (it might be his classroom) everyday this week on the way back to ceramics class during sixth period. I mean, really, I don’t know this guy! He’s a little bit creepy to me too. I mean, I’m always watching out for my back over there at that school. I never believe that I’m completely safe. I don’t know half of these people who are adults, and the kids, most of them I don’t know! Most of the adults there (I’m not saying all of them) will look down on us because of our age, where we are at in life, because we’re younger than they are; I mean it gets ridiculous. I’m pretty sure the adults also think they can do pretty much whatever they want over there too. So that sucks. How I deal with it is I just try to ignore it or avoid it. It’s actually pretty hard to avoid and when it’s everywhere it’s pretty hard to ignore too. Now that I recognized the problems, I just hope that I can find a better way to deal with it. My Dad also told me that I have more than enough credits to graduate, which is great news!
I am seeking editing suggestions, critique, feedback, and reviews. See the whole entire book at my web site thebackgroundofanne.yolasite.c… (This is just 10 pages of the book.) Send me emails at annehill310@yahoo.com
This book is ©annehill 2015.

Saturday, March 2, 2013:

I am NOT HAPPY right now. Mötley Crüe is away from the United States and I want them in the United States because, I want to meet Nikki Sixx so bad. I mean so bad that I’d sell my soul. To fly over to Abbotsford, Canada, a hotel, VIP tickets for 972 dollars! I’ll hand you 1,000 dollars to meet Nikki Sixx! I’m okay with that if I have to pay money. I just want to meet Nikki Sixx already and get this over with and get this out of my life! I want to give him a hug and shake his hand! Please for crying out loud; please help me! I can’t stalk him I would get in so much trouble! That’s impossible and beyond me! Why? Does it have to be so hard to meet Nikki Sixx in particular? I am crying and crying over this right now. My parents are ignoring me and isolating me. I am in A DARK PLACE right now. I have no clue when this book will be published and I WILL NOT meet Nikki Sixx until then. Trust me, I promise you that I am a gentle, loving, kind-hearted person, I am kid-friendly, family-friendly, and I am perfect. I am so upset and I am getting choked up as I write this! Why is it that Chole McCharty, and 8-year-old girl, and all these other people paying 972 dollars get to meet Nikki Sixx? Why? Why? Why? I want to know! Tears are running down my face? Can somebody please just tell me why! I really want to meet Nikki Sixx. When Nikki Sixx had his This Is Gonna Hurt book signing in 2011; I was only 14-years-old! I was a stupid 14-year-old! I am so sad! I am so helpless and can you please tell me Nikki Sixx is human just like me. I just need to talk to him. I am not trying to be aggressive. I am trying to declare my cries for help. I am JEALOUS of all these people paying 972 dollars to meet Nikki Sixx, Vince Neil, and Mick Mars in Canada! Dude, why can’t it be me for once? There is nothing wrong with me! I tell everybody and all my teachers know about Nikki Sixx. Cannot keep my mouth shut. Why did I fall in love with Nikki Sixx? I love Nikki Sixx no matter what. How can you love someone if you know you will never meet him? Difficult times right now for me. My Dad is NOT helping me and I am distraught. This is really sad for me; can you feel my pain? I am NOT the same person I used to be. I love Mötley Crüetoo much to resist this opportunity! Everyone in Canada will be able to enjoy this opportunity! Why me? Why is it that I get EXCLUDED! What if I did go to Canada and I told Mr. Sixx I flew all the way up here to meet him and I spent all this money! I love Nikki Sixx so much and only if you knew how much I love him. SO MUCH! What is it about Nikki Sixx that I love? I love his personality, his talent, his style, his photography, his music, his ego, his heart, his everything! I fell for him when I was really young and I couldn’t help myself. I am so sad that I cannot go up to Canada and party! I NEVER get to have any fun like that kind of fun! I NEVER get to miss school and go on a vacation. A vacation is exactly what I need. I need a big hug from Nikki Sixx. YOU KNOW that’s what I really need. I am in a depression right now. My Mom mocks me about every single thing I want to do. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO MEET Nikki Sixx. THE OPPORTUNITY WON’T HAPPEN BECAUSE, OF THE TIMING AND THE LOCATION! I will never meet Nikki Sixx! I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS! I still love him. When I was little, I saw photos of Nikki Sixx with Donna D’Errico and his children! I just fell in love with him, I was like one or two years old; I don’t remember! I remember Nikki Sixx in Brides of Destruction! And the best thing I can have is Tracci Guns from LA Guns to follow me on Twitter. By the way, he is very cool. I still love Nikki Sixx and I can’t show him that I love him if I WILL NEVER MEET HIM! I love Nikki Sixx and if I run into him; there’s no need to even be nervous. I know so much about Frank and I only want the best for him. I just really, really, really want to meet Frank, like everyone else who has.

How I fell in love with Nikki Sixx, how I choose him, is such a complex story. From the beginning when I heard “Looks That Kill” by Mötley Crüe. I remember I saw the music video and it was love at first sight with Nikki Sixx for me. I saw Nikki Sixx’s picture on Motely Crüe CDs. I obsessed with Mötley Crüeat a very early age and I don’t even remember how old I was? Probably like 4 years old. I remember when I saw the “Shout At The Devil” era Motely Crüe at that age I was thinking “They look so cute…I want to squeeze Nikki Sixx like a teddy bear…” I remember this explicitly. I wanted Nikki Sixx to pick me up and hold me. I had this beautiful fantasy that we would be walking somewhere and holding me when I was little. I cannot believe I remember this! When I saw Nikki Sixx with those funky sunglasses on with Donna D’Errico, it was love and lust. Of coarse, I liked him for his looks too, and his tallness. It was later that I would discover it was actual love. I remember experiencing love. This was something I never talked about. I would pretend I disliked Nikki Sixx or had no clue at all who he was! I never wanted anyone to really know the TRUTH was that I really liked him. I was just born with this crush! I wish I had been able to meet him much earlier in my life. Nikki Sixx is like my “Prince Charming” people. And I wish I was born earlier too so I maybe would have been able to marry him! Oh My Gosh! I love him, I love him, I LOVE him! The Internet was a whole other world for me. I used the computer very early in my life because; my Dad had me using computer software for toddlers. Then I went on the Internet and saw Mötley Crüe pictures on web sites. When I was a little kid, I just wanted to think about Nikki Sixx picking me up. I am the ugly duckling; I am the musician, the talent-less person who never got recognized for being a Mötley Crüe fan. And shockingly, I had wanted to be a part of Nikki’s family at that age too. I am admitting this for you Nikki Sixx. I want you to hear me. I love you. Aren’t I the ugly duckling? I know it just breaks your heart. My story may not be the best but please understand me that I am Nikki Sixx’s TRULY GREATEST fan.

Another concept that I do NOT understand, is that my Mom heckles at me because, of Nikki Sixx’s age and she calls him an “old fart.” Age is just a number (besides the fact that people have experiences in their life). Age is NOT funny (unless that old man is an asshole). I love Nikki Sixx so much that I will say that I am 54 years old to just to get people to accept my love for him. Come on, you know I cannot be 54 years old when I am 16 years old. I cannot be 38 years older than what I already am.

[READ MORE AT thebackgroundofanne.yolasite.c…

Lately, I have been spending my time listening to music on YouTube. My life is been easier for me these days. This is a short list of bands and musicians I spend my time on YouTube listening to: Little Feat, The Cars, Black Sabbath, Black Foot, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Hard Stuff, Three Man Army, Elvis Presley, Spirit, and Baker-Gurvitz Army.

On Sunday Febuary 23rd, 2013 I viewed Kerri Kasem’s Twitter Account (because, I wanted to). Then I found Nikki Sixx’s Tweets. All this week and last night I was on Nikki Sixx’s Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Which was really fun. And there was just this one photograph that just covered me in chocolate. (My analogy “covered me in chocolate” means to be excited over something sensual and provocative.) Sometime this year, Nikki Sixx visited the doctor and his heart was tested for an “Electrocardiogram.” He posted the photograph on Instagram of his “Electrocardiogram,” and I love this photo because, I think that his body is so attractive! There, I said it people. Nikki said that he has the heart of a healthy 30-year-old woman. I was wondering why they said he has the heart of a healthy woman when he is a man. My Dad explained this to me because, I asked him. Supposedly, there is a scientific theory that women have a stronger heart than men do because, women can get pregnant. Yesterday, I read that the “Y Chromosome” in a male baby makes the woman’s heart stronger because, the stem cells from the baby assimilate into the heart of the woman, which makes her heart younger. (The “Y Chromosome” shows presence in the women’s myocardial cells, this makes her heart younger.) Nikki Sixx has the heart of a healthy 30-year-old woman, now that’s someone who literally has a big, healthy heart!

On Friday, February 22nd, 2013, I came to my After-School Music Lesson with the “Friendship Circle.” Then on Saturday, February 23, 2013, my Mom was selling dolls at the Antique Show in Pasadena, CA. I spent the whole day in Pasadena, CA with my Dad listening to the Satellite Radio in the car. My Mom bought me a 1940’s Wind-Up Rabbit, a Reproduction “Raggedy Ann & Andy,” and a Vintage Duck Penny Toy. I love collecting new and old toys. On Sunday, February 24, 2013, my parents and I came to the Torrance Street Fair. My Dad and I ate desserts at the Torrance Bakery. Later, I ate ice cream at Foster’s Freeze. Before my Dad and I ate ice cream, we visited an Antique Shop that was having a sale. My Mom came into the Antique Shop and there was another vintage wind-up toy I desired my parents to purchase for my collection. The staff lady pulled out the vintage wind-up toy “Birds-In-A-Basket” and the toy was priced seventy-five dollars! So, I could not have this old toy. Emotionally, I felt very embarrassed because, my Mother wants to get a job really badly, now that I have reached age sixteen. I held discussions with my Dad on how I want to change my wardrobe. That’s all for today.

This book is unique and focused around the like-minded, caring teenager, Anne Marie Hill. I prepared in 2011 to write my book. This story begins with writings from early 2012. On January 2, 2012 I was only fifteen years old. My judgement and writing approach was deranged. Please read with a calm mind. Recognize the differences between my writing back and now. Please, realize my changes mentally also from 2012 to 2013. –February 27th, 2013

I crashed last night at about 9:30 PM. It’s 6:55 AM, Tuesday, January 10th, 2012. I decided this would be an official high point to start my book. We got a new car yesterday (last night). After school, I didn’t know if my dad would be gone all the way past Santa Barbara for an interview, security clearance. My dad has new job at the Air Force Base past Santa Barbara, CA. My mom picked me up after school, I asked her if our car was here, I thought I heard her say No. I had gotten one pulled underneath me; my dad was just running airens inside his 1975 Celica. The car was a long distance, once I got to the car, my mom told me she had to mail some bills. I keep asking her, if she had read my letter. She said I don’t have to make my furry costume. I can go with her credit card on the computer, with her watching me. I keep telling her to give me a budget, she kept telling me, “I have to go through my fiancées.” Then she drove all the way to Redondo Beach to Hallmark; I had to wait an hour for her to write her bills. We had a little bit of an upsetting conversation on the way there also. I didn’t like my mom’s perspective and I won the conversation. I kept telling me to read To Kill A Mocking Bird in the car but I just wanted to go home. Then we were talking about Assistant Principals. And we were talking about the brief Assistant Principal at My middle school. Which reminded me of something else, that I otherwise have forgotten about. After I came home, inside the house, my dad showed me a bag from Office Max, “Everything in this Bag 20% off.” I looked on the Microsoft Excel Spreadsheet, “Hardcover Journals 8 x 10.” I could not find any Hardcover Journals that were 8 x 10, which could qualify for my use, on “Office Max’s” online web site. I told him, “Staples has the Martha Stewart hardcover journals that are 8 x 10, 202 pages, for fifteen dollars.” Then my dad was on the computer look up the location of Staples. I thought he was looking up to see if there was one than one “Staples” near by. I was looking for my dark brown Monkey Knit Hat from JCPenny and I couldn’t find it. We went to Togo’s and I got the usual: Turkey Sandwich, White Bread, Deshaun Mustard, Swiss Cheese, Spring Mix, and Avocado. I got the Mini Sandwich. Then my dad and I went to Penguin’s frozen yogurt after that. That place just plays Go Country 101, and I heard Taylor Swift’s “Another Picture to Burn” on the radio. My dad and I were discussing Trader Joe’s and we weren’t going to go there until after we went to Staples. It’s 7:17 AM; I have to get ready for School.

January 12th, 2012, Thursday, it’s 6:30 AM. I was not able to come back to this book for 2 days. I haven’t written completely about January 9th, 2012, Tuesday. So much more happened, including our new car. I’ve rode in the new car quite a few times by now. On January 10, 2012, we went to the Santa Monica Pier, FOR THE FIRST TIME. And I got a Black Bomber Bird Angry Birds Knit Hat from one of the dealers on the piers. We never got home until about 8:00 PM or 9:00 PM, it was really late that night. Yes, a lot of changes and events etc has happened so fart this week. First of all, thanks to the Advertisement for the Red Tails movie trailer: Now I’m completely into “Porter Robinson – Unison (Knife Party Remix).” It’s the best dubstep mix out there from the end of 2011/for the beginning 2012. Congratulations Knife Party AKA Pendulum. I’ve listened to all the other songs by Knife Party also: “Internet Friends”, “Zoogly” ft. Skrillex, and “Crush on You (Knife Party Remix).” This is all off of YouTube. And there is quite another handful of YouTube Videos that are so funny/entertaining that I can’t stop watching them. Last night, I also came up with my logo inspired from the “Sunset Strip Music Festival 2011” font. On January 9, 2012, I came home and noticed something odd. This odd thing is going to be my logo also. Back in 2011, during the summer or sometime: We bought “Beware of Dog” signs. The “Beware of the Dog” Signs were both faded. My dad had to trace both signs to the best of his ability. The first dog sign hangs on the front gate. The second dog sign hangs on the back gate. When we pulled up to the driveway, I noticed something incredible about the first dog sign. How the “Beware of Dog” Sign changed. My dad traced over it, and made it have bug eyes and an open mouth with teeth. Which, it looked very much like the other Memes, that are already viral on the Internet. Right away I stared at it, my dad told me to check out the second “Beware of Dog” Sign also. But I just loved the first “Beware of Dog” Sign already. I took the dog sign down while my dad was in the car, activating “On Star.” I went in my room to try to trace it. Then I tried to draw an exact copy of it. All before we went to the Santa Monica Pier. Last night, my dad told me the Scan the “Beware of Dog” Sign because, he needed it back. We did scan it on the Printer/Scanner here by the computer. I had to print out a power point presentation of the “Sunset Strip Music Festival 2011” font graphics and with that Power Point Presentation, I put in the “Beware of Dog” scan. When I printed out, now I could trace that scan (on my special tracing lighted desk) in my room. I was luckily able to trace it with Black Sharpie. I started tracing some stencils out from the “Sunset Strip Music Festival 2011” font/title. I traced the M upside-down to make W for Werewolf Maiden. For “Maiden” I just traced the M not right side up. It took 6 drawings to make the final Black Sharpie logo for the word Werewolf Maiden. On the pencil drawing I had to measure everything. Then I had to trace that with Black Thin Pen. Then I had to do straight edge with Black Colored Pencil. Then I could finally make the entire logo with Black Sharpie. I did “Werewolf” and “Maiden” as separate words, in the first drawings. So that’s why there’s 6 drawing sat first, it’s really 3 drawings for each word. But it was work though. 7:02 AM, be back, I have to get ready for School again.

It’s 9:23 AM, January 17th, 2012. My parents have done some pretty horrific things to me. I don’t love both of my parents. I don’t love my mom and I will never ever forgive my dad. I can’t love them anymore. I just want file for divorce and call it all quits. A lot of things have happened from January 12, 2012 till today January 17, 2012. My mom is on the verge of getting rid of me. She doesn’t want me to occupy her living space anymore. And I was on Twitter tweeting about this abusive, complicated, abrasive situation this morning. I made a Twitter account. I was forced to because; I mutilated myself on Sunday, January 15th, 2012. Ever since I’ve been trying to be furry, it’s to the outback. My mom threatens my integrity by telling me she will put me in a boarding school and a reform school. Yesterday on Martin Luther King’s Day, January 16th, 2012 my mom tried to force me to go to bed. My mom poked me with her finger on my rib cage. I took my headphones off and said what. As I usually always do. She started to cover my mouth because I spoke in the family room. And my dad was sleeping in here. My mom also grabbed my arms and pinched me. My mom has been back to her own ways recently with arm grabbing and pinching. I walked away to go wash my mouth off because she had her hand over my mouth. My mom has covered my mouth about 7 times since December of 2011. I don’t approve of the germs also. I don’t understand my mom’s perspective. And I am concerned about being an artist (on the computer) and school. I concerned about this book also just as much. My mom keeps holding me back against the “Social Services.” I am concerned about the Social services coming to take both my mom’s and dad’s time. My mom is threatening me that she can’t deal with it because; she has dolls to put up on eBay. My dad had to go to several meetings with my mom the last this happened and the “Social Workers” are nosy. I’m scared for my life right now. Last night I couldn’t stop crying and hyperventilating. My mom and dad couldn’t give one damn about it. I need a picture phone and I need to get access to “Wi Fi” (Internet) on a phone so, I can tweet every single moment of it. When I end up forced into my room again, I want to have a CD player and headphones. Or I could have some type of Boom Box. I want to just play those Mötley CrüeCDs and Tweet Every Single Second of it. I haven’t listened to Mötley Crüe since about 2010. At least played a CD. I remember 2010 was the worst year of my entire life. I wrote a note last night and I need to give it to a consular at school. Or the front office, someone who is in a position to back me up needs to read it, and I need to get help now. It’s 10:13 AM. I was eating breakfast and my mom was arguing with me some more. My mom told me that I was disobedient child and she doesn’t need to deal with 3 barking Chihuahuas. My mom is ranting to me about going to the store. She says I need to come with her. My mom is threatening me with the dogs again, when she told my dad that she could do it anyway. I need to have a tape recorder to record all of these moments right now so I don’t ever lose them. I could show them to quite a handful of people soon. I should get to school. And give them the note, my mom wants to see my note. I don’t know if I’m walking home from school and if I’ll have the keys. My mom wants to shop with me at VONS or A1 Foods to get food for my lunch. I want nothing to do with her and its going to interfere with my time. I also got my log artwork meme done yesterday.

It’s 6:53 AM Wednesday, January 18th, 2012. First of all, now I’m done with all my links in my lists. I’m done with my Christmas List, which I was done with my Werewolf Maiden list earlier. I would like to complete this book by the 25th. If I could sit at the computer and write as much as possible, edit, proofread, and print. At school yesterday, I still had to bring the note any ways and hide the note. I had to pretend that I ripped up that note in front of my mom. And I went through hell that morning. According to what I tweeted on my profile: I was told that I was disobedient and that I disrespect both of my parents. “I have to judge a book by its cover and say older parents above 55 are not good parents for a 15-year-old teenager,” Tweeted 9:12 AM - 17 Jan 12 via web. I went to School and I had to hide two parts of the note in my pocket. Good thing I sure scanned a copy of that note, using our scanner printer. I went there and I got counseling right away, instead of going to 4th Period “Study Skills Class.” I was able to see my counselor fortunately, and she read my note. I told her how my parents feel about the “Social Services,” she said that no one is coming to our house. She just made copies of my note and she is giving it to my caseworker and the police officer employed at my high school. I have to keep this behind my mom’s back for as long as possible. Yesterday I got even more packages in the mail, which means my furry outfit Werewolf Maiden is almost complete. I’m am wearing my Faux Fur Tail, Red Faux Fur Leg Warmers, and Faux Fur Rainbow Monster Slippers from Justice: I got that for my Birthday as a gift from my friend. Last night I did something really stupid with my Grey Fingerless Faux Fur Gloves. I mean it’s really stupid. I was arrogant and I didn’t really know better. My Grey Fingerless Faux Fur Gloves are wet and they’re drying by the tub right now. Still drying. I was all the smell off if you know what I mean. 7:11 AM, I have to get ready for another no-homework-done day at school.

It’s 6:49 AM. Yesterday, January 18th, 2011 was American Censorship Day on the Internet. This is a very strife, strife epidemic. I’m included because I use YouTube and Twitter. I was going to start using “Tumblr,” Facebook, Myspace, deviantART, and “Blogger.” This is bad very bad. Nikki Sixx uses Twitter, Facebook and “Tumblr.” Nikki Sixx would only be able to have the means of using his Sixx Sense radio program for Podcasts. I’ll get to that in just a moment. Nikki Sixx in special in this book and yeah. Yesterday “SOPA” consumed very once of time that I’ve ever had on my hands yesterday. I had to get up early at 5:30 AM this morning. I got a nightmare about Marylin Manson, Jack Black, and a former Porn Actress set up a camp. They were in a clan to kidnap people after this “SOPA & PIPA Bill” was in affect to the Internet. They set up Kidnap Fun Camp with a trampoline. It was just a nightmare but I remember all of it so vividly. Did you know that “SOPA & PIPA” is a direct threat to me. I’m using the Internet to make online purchases to be the Furry and the Fashionista I want to be at the same time. I hope January 24th, 2012 comes already and this bill is not passed. With all the efforts to fight “SOPA & PIPA.” I watched over 100 YouTube Videos yesterday on January 18th, 2012 about “SOPA & PIPA.” I found out on January 18th, 2012 at school. In health class we went to the Library to use the computers and get on the Internet. When I finally could access the computer without, my School ID logging me into the computer: I went to Google.com and I saw their Front Page. I saw what the Censorship Bar was about Google Blackout. After School when I came home, I went on YouTube and I searched “cs188”. I’ve been a follower of something called “YouTube Poop” for years now. And when I was 13 years old and 12 years old, I also did “YouTube Poop.” My YouTube Account was held “tyger2011gotsuspend.” Why: Because my first YouTube Account “tyger2011” got suspended off of YouTube already when I was even younger. And “cs188” videos are funny. The videos include mainstream sensations like Billy Mays and Vince Offer. And there is way more to “cs188” including “Pooping the Charts” is the video that I think originally linked me to “cs188” on YouTube. “SOPA & PIPA” disagrees/agrues with that I’m going to be uploading a YouTube Video slideshow of my Photography. There will be one Slideshow on YouTube with a Dubstep Song and another with Rock Music. This is bad news for new Artists of coarse. I’ve seen all on YouTube already. I’m thinking about making a YouTube Video about this also. This hits the computer age with the Internet directly. And this targets young teenagers in High School deciding what to be when they grow up. That is if they want to be involved with Business Internet Trafficking, YouTube, Invent a new Social Network, etc. Just like me and my Werewolf Maiden art and photography. This affects all photography and the Internet also. “SOPA & PIPA” also affects all photographers using the Internet and Other Online Tools. January 18th, 2012 interrupted my whole entire work process and my entire day and night. “SOPA & PIPA” research interrupted my Science Directed Reading Homework.

It’s 3:49 PM on January 19th, 2011. I talked to my “Lunch Club Teacher” and she suggested that I write a letter to a local congressman/representative in my area. I’m Werewolf Maiden. I want to purchase clothing off Internet Websites to be a Fashionista and some of it Faux Fur. I have most of the Fur Affinity/Faux Fur Stuff taken care of on my own already. I want to upload a Slideshow of my Photography on YouTube and using Background Music. I want to upload my Photography on Tumblr, deviantART, Blogger, Myspace, and Facebook is pending. I am thinking about uploading on Flickr also. I want to publish all of my books. I need Cooperate Sponsorship in order to obtain “a cash grant” to purchase all of my (Fashion, Attire, Wardrobe) off the Internet as a whole. If “SOPA & PIPA” passes will they find a copyright infringement in my Photography: What I Am Wearing? What I Am I Holding In My Hands? What will happen to all the Internet Fashionistas if “SOPA & PIPA” pass? Fashionistas Occupy: “Tumblr,” Twitter, Mysapce, “Blogger,” Facebook, and “YouTube Fashion Tips.” What will happen to all the Scene Kids on Myspace, YouTube, or Facebook? Most Scene Wigs are sold on Etsy.com. There might be Scene Kids on Tumblr even also too. Werewolf Maiden embraces Scene Fashion just a little bit. What will happen to Furaffinty.net? The Furry Conventions are organized and sponsored on the Internet. If “SOPA & PIPA”  pass Crüeheads on deviantART will be in the dark! Okay Bro. Nikki Sixx has to try and interact with his fans, right? I saw over 100 videos on YouTube on January 18th, 2012 about “SOPA & PIPA.” It’s 4:51 PM on January 19th, 2011. My dad just called and responded to the message I left on his Cell Phone. I signed four Save the Internet petitions in my Dad’s Name. I don’t know how I would bring any light to the petitions or not because I’m a minor. My Dad’s Name is okay for now. Probably my mom and I (myself, my name) should sign the petitions also.

So I watched over 100 videos on January 18th, 2012 on YouTube about “STOP SOPA.” I tweeted all the videos that really gave me shocking information, if they expressed their concerns really well, and if they gave new light in the issue in their rants. A video that was uploaded on December 23, 2011 from the UK (I can already tell it’s from the UK) to YouTube. He brought up a really good point that needs your undivided attention. How are you going to be able to use the Internet to “immerse yourself in bands”? This is really disgusting. “If the SOPA bill goes into affect after the Winter Recess: Open source Software Projects may be shut Down, Mozilla being the Main target.” December 23 2011 via YouTube Webcam Video “You  will no longer have the freedom to enjoy. You will no longer be able to research new knowledge. You will no longer be able to immerse yourselves in a new band. Your never going to be able to share, find, or receive information with friends or peers in the same manner we do now in Websites like Tumblr and Facebook. All those links will be affectedly cut and shut down.” December 23 2011 via YouTube Webcam Video

Well shout out to you Bro.  Musicians Institute in Hollywood, California streams Live Video off the Internet. And I was the only one who chatted/commented on their Facebook Live Stream AKA a campaign called “Conversation Series.” According to my Original Print Screens from November 6, 2011, I posted as the user “Identity”: “One day I will make my own debut – You will know who I am one day. Good day.” “I know a lot of things, that some people don’t know. I will write all of that…writer.” “I am actually really young, lying about being older. But you will know me bro.” Sounds like I’ve got my tongue out. Like this is posting would be posting as Anonymous. It sounds like some weird gibberish. I wonder if anyone thinks this is funny? Musicians Institute in Hollywood, California has a web site also. I can imagine “Starting A New Band” (Especially Younger Bands): You need Band Schools, All Forms of Communication, Magazines & Interviews Help, Online Booking, and a Myspace Profile with Streaming Music. To launch yourself as a musician: You need Advertisement Help. Without this, that’s how bands can break up or get screwed over. Today’s world and technology absolutely plays a vital role in Music. Another YouTube Video uploaded November 29, 2011 about “SOPA” and he claims he is a Musician. “You know on the surface it really looks like a brilliant idea. Their really making an effort to reduce how much can be stolen and how much is stolen. I’m actually a musician and I have copyrighted works out. So to me, this is big for me.” November 29, 2011 via YouTube Webcam Video “So I started reading into this. And I started looking into it more, and more, and more and kind of reading deeper into it. And the more I looked at it, the more I was against it.” November 29 2011 via YouTube Webcam Video –Thanks for the support bro. It’s really inspirational. You look like a young adult, who has sort of an Emo look going on. Kind of similar to Andy from Black Veil Brides but I defiantly know your not. So that’s cool. There is a comment on this video: This was video that was uploaded on November 29, 2011: The comment says that he needs to cut his hair. Okay, so who ever you really are dude that’s just fine with me. I also viewed a YouTube Video uploaded December 11, 2011; he’s lonely 14-year-old making this video from his Basement. Although, he actually says that he’s “a lonely 14-year-old living in his basement.” Another YouTube Video uploaded December 10, 2011 appears two adolescent girls are presenting information “SOPA.” The two adolescent girls are presenting the information in a School-Like Presentation Style. According to the video, they mention another YouTube Video by “Vlogbrothers” that discusses the SOPA topic.

It’s January 30, 2012, 9:49 PM FINALLY. I’m blasting “Hey Sexy Lady” Remix by Skrillex. Oh damn, a lot has happened in January 2012. I have not been able to access this vault in a long time. I’m not done with my book illustrations I had just started on Tuesday, January 24, 2012. To start with some information; I have habits of falling asleep. And by now, Mötley Crüe is in Las Vegas. That means I follow Nikki Sixx on Twitter, I keep reading his Twitter. And it’s not that pleasurable when no one tweets back. I have favorites 5 of Nikki Sixx’s tweets. But I just get sicker and sicker. I have tweet Nikki Sixx 10 times and have not gotten one Reponses back. This makes me feel so ill that Nikki Sixx will never EVER tweet to me back. Yeah, you never will and I said so. And this alone just makes me sad. Wait until you read some more bullshit in this book. Today, after reading Nikki Sixx twitter that he is in Las Vegas and I feel asleep. I feel so happy for Mötley Crüein my heart right now. But I can’t be there and I won’t be able to go. And that’s fucking rotten and all know it! I feel so happy that I am near tears (especially after seeing more for this vaule on the Sunset Strip Billboard). But all I can do right now is sleep and dream. It’s 10:10 PM and I am not listening to/playing Skrillex right now anymore. I dosed off on the couch and then my mom came in the family room. I was half asleep and I keep saying “fuck” over and over again. I keept pointing my middle finger because, I never felt so disrupted from sleeping in this mannor before. My Mom came into the family room because she wanted to watch a movie. Instead of doing Homework like, I always should have been forever and forever all these hours. Then I went into my room and I tried to take a nap but, I just couldn’t touch myself because, I was dreaming so intensily, fulfillily, and heavily. My dream was about a miracle, a rainbow, and sex, sex, sex, and more sex. Sex is all I ever dream about pretty much. Sex that’s not in a movie; something that more real!!! I finally got myself back out of bed at 7:00 PM tonight. Then I called my dad up on the phone to tell him about my sleeping mistakes, being out of printer ink, getting another scrapbook album, my solo dance test, and my feelings about Study Skills Class at school. On Friday, January 27th, 2012 I finally uploaded all my Werewolf Maiden logos on Twitter, deviantART, Facebook, Tumblr, Myspace, YouTube, And “Blogger“ (Profile Picture). And I created four new logos for Werewolf Miaden based on Hats and Earrings from “Aldo Shoes.” I have 34 Werewolf Maiden logos files that I uploaded on the Internet. I have issues with being late to School and I have been all this January. I was one minute late this morning and the assistant principal was doing the sign-ins and she looked directly at me. Then I walked out and the dean saw me. That always makes my morning (or entire day at school) 50 percent harder to deal with. This weekend on Saturday, January 28, 2012 I went to Hollywood during the daytime instead of at night with my mom included. I was supposed to go to Amobea Music to buy the whole Cobra Starship album. But I have not listened to Cobra Starship songs yet at all. All I needed was “You Make Me Feel..” by Cobra Starship ft. Sabi. I had orginally picked the song for something else. The theme song for Nikki Sixx and [this sister]: They make each other feel the…Na Na Na La La La La La. And all the ohs and the ohs, yeahs, and the screws. I just found out that we had to perform that song today in front of the class: its actaully a test. AND I KNOW A LOT ABOUT MY DANCE TEACHER. Oh yes, I do Nikki Sixx! So I had to talk to Carol when I was there, then I had to talk to Ashely (she’s the Teacher Assistant), then Ashely and I had to talk to my dance teacher togeither because I was so scared of what her freakin’ reaction would be to the situation. Nikki Sixx: My dance teacher has Sixx:Am on her I-Pod and no Mötley Crüe. That means one thing, or another. My dance has EVERYTHING expept Mötley Crüeas far as I know. My dance teacher started teaching about 15 years ago. So you decide! –We discussed it and they said I would have to do improv. And they called me today, and I did improv. EVERYONE SCREAMED! I was scattering all around the classroom with my grey faux fur gloves and my gold sunglasses. I was kicking my legs up in the air, shaking my back a little bit, moving my feet, posing my arms, and everything extra. And they loved me. I was “Straight Forward” when I told them that I was doing improv. There’s a art paper/poster assignment that goes with this: And No, No I didn’t have any characteristics or no art. Sorry. I had to keep saying No. To me, that felt kind of like this: “Cut! Cut the scene! Stop recording!” But then I was ever so careful afterwards to put it all together. Amen said I was good, that I did a good job! Irene starting singing, then I told her she was a good singer. We were all talking about it. She was joking around with “How she was going to Audition on American Idol..” Then I sat there and clapped to everyone eleses’ solos. Amen was going to be nice to me: “Don’t tell anybody but, I was going to improvise for you and come up with some of the choreography at home.” I thought I would have to stay up past 1:00 AM coming up with a dance and choreography! I told my friends: “Originally, I picked this song for something else!” I was supposed to post 2 blogs before Saturday, January 28, 2012 and they all have been postponed. It’s been forever. As of Saturday, January 28, 2012 I had 4 more blogs developed to post on “Blogger.” Two plus Four equals Six Blogs as of Saturday, January 28, 2012. It’s January 30, 2012 and I have NINE Blogs to post on “Blogger” now. On Friday, January 27, 2012 something very grusome happened in my Math Class. ANOTHER TEACHER HI-JACKED OUR CLASSROOM. And I’m telling you that Nikki Sixx –if he were there, he would stick up for us, and kick this guy’s fucking ass. And Nikki Sixx would stand up from me and protect from this fuck ass pig man!! I sent an email to my parents during “Study Skills Class” and my dad was the only one who got the email on January 27, 2012: “I’m having a hard time sending this email in study skills Period 4 because the assistant (she’s an old lady) is giving me sorta a hard/bad time. I have to take 2 tests for Health Class in here because [Counselors for My High School] wanted to see me during Period 3. This morning in Math Class, [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] (another teacher) went into [Math Teacher] class and started shouting at all of us. And I was the only one who responded to his shouting. I wrote about this; this morning in English Class Period 2. “All I can think about this morning is Sixx Sense (I was talking to my dad about that, this morning). I wish that Nikki Sixx would have been there for me. [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] is the guy who deserves to “get macked in the mouth.” If Nikki Sixx was there with me, he would have told [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] to get the fuck out. Nikki would have thrusted through that door and would have said, “Fuck You” to that guy at the top of this lungs. [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] would have gotten punched for this. I don’t care what goofy shit this was. Nikki would have kicked this guy in the balls! [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] would have made Kerri Kasem cry!” “Now I have 2 blogs to write about. Plus 2 more things to write about in my book.” . [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] hijacked our classroom and said, “What you learning...” I’ve gotta stop this e-mail now. The assiant is going to give me a hard time. I’ve got another Health Test to do. (To Be Continued.....)” –I wrote about this Incident in my Warm-Up for English Class also: “[Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] just went into our classroom and started shouting. [Name of Math Teacher] said, “Because it’s Friday, he’s in a good mood.” Ever since I first met that guy, I’ve disliked him. The voice in my head is speaking to him. I’m going to send an email in Period 4 and erite about this. I’m thinking about that radio show Sixx Sense. I know that Nikki would have went and thrusted through the door and stood up for me and the whole classroom. I can’t even say the rest of my thoughts. At that time, I just wish that Nikki would have been there for me. Kerri would have been crying because of that guy! I was the only one in the class who even responded to his shouting. Now I two new blogs. And something even newer to write about in my book. I’m really ticked off right now.” –I wrote that in my Warm-Up for English Class so, my English Teacher can read it. So I have to be careful about what the hell I’m writing and the language. Another teacher Hi-Jacked our classroom by opening the door, my Math teacher saying: “Oh, this is [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] everybody.” He just started screaming, ranting, raving, and shouting. I looked at him with some amusment at first like it was funny, or something, (funny like it should be in a freakin’ teacher High School sitaution). This is what he said: “HOW ARE YOU DOING!”, “I SAID HOW ARE YOU DOING!” I did’nt say anything, or I might have repilied with good/fine; I don’t remember really. “WHAT DAY IS IT TODAY!”/”TODAY IS FRIDAY!” [This guy reminds me of someone who is shooting up Herion, or doing Smack after, listening to “Friday” by Rebbecca Black on their YouTube Window!] –By then, I felt by CAUTION reacters doing off on alert. I was beinginng to wish I could just kick this guy in the balls. Nikki Sixx: What would you have done for me! Lift me out of my chair, push that guy out of the way, and just carry me outside. Then we can run and say “Fuck You!” This guy is like a 500 LB mad, fat papparzzi; let’s get him! –”YOU’RE LEARNING WHAT?” “WHAT ARE YOU LEARNING?” I actaully responded to his question by simipliy saying: “Math.” And I was the only student in the whole one who did so. “I’M ONLY GOANNA GET LOUDER!” “THEY CAN HEAR ME ACROSS THE HALL!” –Nikki Sixx could take out his Camera: Maybe that would make this fucker go away. Then my math teacher started to speak, “Who wants to do the next math problem, do you want [Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] to do the next math problem?” “[Name of the Teacher who Hi-Jacked the Classroom] do the next math problem for us on the board.” The guy responded with; “I’m out of here!” Holy Shit, after just wanting to just please get your video phones out to record this on video. This teacher is obbess by the way; he looks about 400 or 500 pounds and he is about six feet tall. This guy/teacher has a beard and my math teacher brings that subject up in class constantly. I told my math teacher “If this dude was on drugs.” “I think his eyes are red.” “He’s drunk.” This guy pretty much lives in his classroom, it’s his house away from home. I’ve been inside of his classroom a few times initially from my Science Class to take a few tests. I did not approve of some of the shit he brought up in his conversations with other children in his classroom ethier. The first day, I called him a total Jackass. I got pulled in the with some counselors from the district: I haven’t chatted with them since October of 2011 so I was surprised. They told me they know him: “He’s a holly jolly real big football guy.” I think everyone likes football. And we all know that Nikki Sixx loves football too. I did’nt bring up Nikki Sixx not once when I chatted with those girls, not once. But I did bring Sixx Sense into the bowel: “If you know what it is; I’m going to die.” These counselor girls didn’t even know what Sixx Sense is. They probably don’t listen to “98.7 FM” or reason like that. On Saturday, January 28, 2012 I had a hard time getting ready at about 9:00 AM to go to an Antique Doll Show being held in Gendale, California. Once we drove over there, after eating at Mc Donald’s in Glendale, when my dad and I finally got inside to wait for my mom: I saw something that I’ll never forget. Of coarse, there was a bunch of strange people at this place which, made me feel uncomfortable. But these two really old women were so crippled. I tried not to look as the family support persons where pulling in two long gurneys through the doors. These two women had so many tubes attached to their skin and there skin is more wrinkled than anything else. There arms were dangling towards the clinging up above us. This is almost anything ever more intense and altering sight than anything that Nikki Sixx has ever captured in his photography. And I mean on this Tumblr Account also. The sight was so blinding almost. I wish you were there with my dad and I. “Maybe you could have captured the sight after they were clearing.” “Maybe you could have captured it.” “But only if you were there.” After the doll show, we exited the freeway to go into Hollywood Blvd in Los Angeles. We excited into Sliver Lake of Los Angeles, West of Hollywood unfortunately. I know the neighborhood is pretty skuzzy. I remember I saw a man sitting on a bench who had really skinny arms and legs. This man had a really fat stomach and “man boobs” with really skinny arms and legs. That proably could have made an interesting photograph. This man looked almost deformed with the placement of fat vs. skinny. All we did is drive through Sliver Lake. We were going to this pizza place on Hollywood Blvd called “Stefano’s” AKA “Two Guys from Italy.” My mom, dad, and I, went inside that place, after walking through busy Hollywood Blvd, and something dangerous encountered us. We sat down to eat our pizza and this street guy came around from the corner and he was making Chihuahua noises. I didn’t know at the time but he was selling bracelets. When I thought he had a weapon on him. He approached us and he were waiting for our pizza and I was trying to stay still. Because I was so scared. Really scared. Then we dove the Sunset Strip and I saw “Mötley Crüe takes on Sin City” (AKA Las Vegas) poster again. Which my mom pointed it out to me this time on the Susnet Strip. Now that was moving Nikki Sixx. I’ve got a thing about the Sunset Strip, I want my Werewolf Maiden logs out there on the Billboards. On Tuesday, January 31, 2012 I was so depressed because I fell in love with Sixx Sense. I realized that guys just rock, and that I really want to be a part of it. And that I really miss every single moment of it. I wrote this in Period 4 on Tuesday, January 31st, 2012: “Period 4. I have no clue what time it is. If I’m waiting or I’m somewhere I don’t want to be. Without a cell phone yet. I start writing. I didn’t really want to go to Period 1 Math. I was about ready to cry this morning. When I was getting dressed this morning, I was loud and obnoxious. I’m in love: With not just Nikki. I’m in love with Sixx Sense. I’m in a trashcan soaking and suffering. Because I know I want every single fucking moment of it. I have no self-confidence and I do not care about anything else. I need to upload everything online today, my logos, and follow everyone on Twitter. I am so sad. I want yo go the fuck home. I am hurt inside. I hope the outside of me looks like a celebrity. I hope the outside of me looks to itself online and in the limelight. Twitter and the Iphone/Ipad are goanna eat me up. Everyday Nikki tweets Courtney”’s ability to eat him up. Nikki has mentioned her at least ten times on Sixx Sense already. I am a stupid, hopeless, freak. I have something to say to Kerri kasem also. A lot to say. Just look at me already. I want to be a part of the Crew. I want to take over the web site to make it so fucking fresh. Smells like the mall and the Internet dress sense. I wish I could try to Re-Upload the logo. We click restart. I am still frightened and sad. I want to go home right now. Sixx Sense gives me a weird lust overdose. I feel like my hormones are raging. I hate critics. Shut the fuck up and give my a fucking chance. Your goanna bark like wild oak tree. An oak tree which, has been preserved in the same location for eternity. –Randall was on Sixx Sense, I just found out by clicking “Most Watched”, %100 agreed Nikki. I’m the honey badger, not that girl, or, whatever makes us say that I’m dumb. –Nikki (just you all) groupe me. I want it. What the hell? (Just you all) can touch me. I’m left out. I am fucking isolated. I have an obsession with my faux fur gloves. I’m so screamy and abnoxious. I’m loud. But I’m so shy. I love faux fur. No purses, shoes, gloves, tails, leg warmers, and other nice things. Imagine a world without faux fur. Sixx Sense furry logo. Seriously, that shit happens. I’m hooked on Gold Round Sunglasses. I love those sunglasses. I love cool-looking nails too. Gad Dammit meet me, and just destroy the cage also. What do I do? Just phone or texting. That sucks. What do I wear? Everything that I bought. I want a damn Sixx Sense purse/bag/tote.” The curse words were censored when I wrote this at school. I really some point in this rant about hormones and lust I was trying to write about sex. But I can’t write about that freely at school. Sixx Sense gives me sexaul vibes and I think it’s true. Nikki Sixx has opened up to his cushioned booty, his balls, and his dick. I mean what the hell, right? LOL?  Mötley Crüehas done an Advertisement for “KIA Motors” which will be airing this Sunday at the Superbowl 2012 Tevelsion Time. I had to read the YouTube Video Description of “Adriana Lima “Big Game” Kia Optima Teaser” uploaded on January 25th, 2012. Then I finally got it. I had to read all the press for KIA Motors. Mötley Crüe performs in the Advertisement with flames (Computer-Simulated/Animated/Effects) in front of Screens (the set of the advertisement). Where does the professional fighter go any ways in this advertisement? Victoria’s Secret just turned into a 90-foot, white and purple striped, female monster with sharp teeth, a 6-foot mouth, with a sculpted body. I hope I’m a fucking big deal just like that. Nikki Sixx can you let me know about the next Mötley Crüe television or media debut? I mean, it’s really cool. But I hope this blows way soon so you can talk about me. The advertisement has “Mr. Sandman” by The Chordettes. “You know you call him that Lollipop, Oh Lolli, Lolli, Lollipop!” The Chordettes Trololo Everyone! “Mr. Trololo” by Eduard Khil: What the freakin’ Advertisement is that! LOL Again. It’s 1:40 AM Tuesday, January 31, 2012 NOW! At the “Roxy Theatre” there was a Launch party for Sixx Sesne. And I watched the video on Sunday January 28th, 2012 and I got depressed because I could have went. I got confused at one part though: When he says that he’s not supposed to pick his eleven-year-old up from school. And the crosswalk person asks if he’s Chris Angel. The only conclusion I came up with is that he might have carried his 11-year-old girl in his arms the whole way to the car! Wouldn’t Chris Angel do some illusion or magic like that? What the hell is this? Oh wow. hat if it was me here. Carry me in your arms; oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! (Awesome Face) Yeah, carry me the whole way to Sixx Sense Studio! HA-HA-HA! It’s 1:56 AM now!

So, I haven’t wrote in this book for over a month! I’m forced to write in here now, because, instead of being the worst time of my life, unlike all my other experiences in life, this is the saddest time of my life so far. It’s 5:21 AM and it’s February 17, 2012 now. Of coarse, a lot of things have happened. Especially to happening to me. Now I’m going to finishing this entire fucking book. I know how to tell this little story from beginning to end. It’s the saddest time of my life, because I learned that really, Nikki Sixx can be so Crüel with his ways sexually. Cooking to him means that you have to fuck him also. But that’s not all, its only half the story. I’m a dead girl, I’m not really alive. It’s a new theme I’ve incorporated. My voice, my actions are dead but, Werewolf Maiden is alive. Well, not really. I’m not supposed to be here, I’m not supposed to even exist. I don’t exist at all. If Nikki Sixx cooks for [this sister] everyday that means since this fall, this summer: It’s a 500 to 892 ratio how many times Nikki Sixx has fucked [this sister]. Nikki Sixx provides [this sister] with a bottle of whine, and that puts her out. So Nikki Sixx can insert his dick inside her. And I just learned this very dark, plastic, sex, dirty-ass, motherfucking, shit-ass secret. Why did’nt you say nothing earlier? Don’t you know you lie about having buckwild sex everyday of your life when you talk to other people? Technically, it’s [sex], so Nikki Sixx has [sex] [with this sister], and she likes it. [This sister] is okay with it. Of coarse she’s okay with it. Let’s see the statistics. [This sister]: Sex Drive, Clothing from H&M, Modeling for Photographs, Living at Home with Mom and Daddy, Has Hardly said a Word on Camera or in General, Tries to Idolize Glam Rock Gods (David Bowie), Sharon Tate was the most Beautiful Women who ever Lived, Shoes, Bag Lady, okay. Anna Nicole Smith to Marylin Monroe. Courtney Bingham to Sharon Tate? Um, yes-no. But, now I can see how Courtney Bingham copies Sharon Tate. And Lana Del Rey to Nacy Sinatra! But we all can see something a little bit cooky cooking inside [this sister]. Making the exact same facial expressions and characteristics as Sharon Tate would bring up a passion for the Camera, right? Well, then it’s photography, right? I have not ever seen [this sister] wear a hippie headband. Is [this sister] a crazy hippe, a little out of line, crazy in general? Hmm..let’s take a good look again. The plastic fantastic lover, we’ll just have to learn again. Go ask Nikki Sixx right now if he likes Sharon Tate, go on. We’ll see what Nikki has to say. You think that [this sister] has ever attended an action for Sharon Tate. “Sharon Tate’s Engagement Ring..” Well, how did this all happen in the first place? On Google.com, when you search for Images of Sharon Tate, sometimes you see evidental pictures that could date back to 1969, that Charles Manson murdered her, that makes it very hard to breathe; doesn’t it. Because that’s really sad. [This sister] produced “The Underground Comedy Movie 2010” with Vince Offer (The Sham Wow Guy) and Lindsay Lohan was in “The Underground Comedy Movie 2010”. So she possibly has (or really has) worked with Lindsay Lohan. “Lindsay Lohan’s comeback role may be as Sharon Tate in the upcoming…” content from Nydailynews.com Lindsay Lohan has been handed down a role for “Eyes of a Dreamer: The Charles Manson Story” this web site says, originally from TMZ. “Lindsay to play Sharon Tate??” from Perezhilton.com, even Perez Hilton knows about Lindsay’s comeback as Sharon Tate. This is very interesting. Hey Nikki, this isn’t funny. Does anyone know, what do you think she’s looking for? Jim Morrison, Iggy Pop, is there any other artist that [this sister] likes? “Oh yeah, sure, I can have a whole entire list of them!” “Hennes & Mauritz AB” abbreviated as “H&M;” Erling Perrson in Västerås, Sweden founded the company in 1947. The company in 1947 called “Hennes” which is Swedish for Hers and sold women’s clothing only. And this is all according to Wikipedia.com. In 1968 “Mauritz AB” established a Hutning-Equipment store inventory (which included men’s clothing) in Stockholm, and Perrson expanded to men’s wear. Then Perrson’s son took over in the year 1990. Now most of the clothing is made in Asia. So, there’s the establishment of H&M for you. Now, don’t try to hard to be passionate about your clothing from Asia.

Now, I really have to go this way don’t I. Another look at [this sister]. [This sister] has an excessive sex drive, right? Now I am asking this question. Seriously, because, I know what happened to Nikki Sixx, now, I do know what happened pretty well. Does [this sister] have hypersexaulity? Because, when I heard the song “Nympho” by Borgore. I think I darn well learned something at all. Would this mean, and is [this sister] is a nympho. Would this mean [this sister] is being a nymphomaniac? Look, I know no one likes stereotypes. Nikki Sixx, is this [sister] hypersexual do you possibly believe for crying out loud? And now you’re buying her a bottle of whine just because, it’s easy to put her out. It keeps getting better? What keeps getting better: Sex, Sex, Sex, Hot Sauce, Fries, Ketchup, Eggs, and Bacon? Flowers, Cards, Love Notes about What: Love? Flowers, Cards, Love Notes, Certificates, Balloons, Cakes, Pumpkin Pie, Cheesecake, Ice Cream, Panties, Bras, Hairspray, Cologne, Perfume, Lingerie, and you’re free to add to the list. He truth is, I’d rather deal with the 1990’s like if Nikki once snorted cocaine off a women’s butt. He would need to go to rehab. Nikki Sixx drinking, well, I hope good times are to be remembered. Hey, it never used to like this okay. To me, this is worse, over riding everything that was ever considered “bad”. This is a crisis, Nikki Sixx is terrible, at least, sexually, and now we all know! Now I want those years back, like 2007, 2008, or 2009. I want 2007 back. Wow, like really this would happen: well, duh! But I remember Brides of Destruction, remember Nikki Sixx with Donna D’ Errico. Not any of this shit would have happened! [This sister] has succeeded at making Nikki Sixx more terrible then he ever could have been, ever. Remember that. Well, since I know now that Nikki Sixx is having sex everyday, and he buys [this sister] whine on purpose to have sex with her. I AM NEVER GOING TO HAVE SEX AT NIKKI SIXX’S HOUSE WHEN HE MEETS ME. That’s right. When it really happens, somewhere outside: like the beach. NOT AT HIS HOUSE EVER! AND I AM NEVER COMING TO NIKKI’S HOUSE ETHIER. I AM NOT COMING INSIDE NIKKI’S HOUSE. At least that’s what I say for now, because, then again that is his house. THIS IS A SCANDAL AND I AM COMPELETLY OUTRAGED. I am also utterly disappointed. I am dead I just died. Before I even heard about this, was the last few moments I got to live, I am taking this very hard. AT LEAST WHEN WE HAVE SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME I AM NOT COMING TO THA SIXX MANOR, “YOU CAN RUN TELL THAT, YOU CAN RUN TELL THAT, HOMEBOY, HOME, HOME, HOME-BOY!” Seems like when you finally confess, it seems like you have nothing for me. “SO DUMB, SO DUMB!” “We gon find you,” “Sixx Dawg,” okay, I’m sorry but THIS IS WRONG! “You are so dumb, you are really dumb, for real!” Nikki Sixx confesses a special VE-DE Day 2012! “Valentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day!” You feeling that, do you feel that love?

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annehill
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:iconaimeezhou:
aimeezhou Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Professional Filmographer
Thank you for the fav!
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:iconoriginalceenote:
originalceenote Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013
thanks for the fave!
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:iconajkareze:
ajkareze Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Glad you like this vision of the 7 sins ^^ :boogie:
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:iconadolfwolfed4life:
AdolfWolfed4Life Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I see you like Disney's and MGM's wolves! They're my favourite characters too, especially the MGM one.
I remember you added some of my MGM Wolf deviations to favourites. Most of them are not my own drawings, is there anything wrong with the way I draw him or you just don't like the suit and hair and moustache I draw him with, or you prefer anything straight from the cartoons to fanart? Just curious. :)
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:iconannehill:
annehill Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013
I like your drawings. Nothing wrong with the way you draw the MGM wolf (AKA Tex Avery Wolf). Mustache and the suit are great. He wouldn't look the same without them. Yes, I like the cartoons and fan art. Your drawings are really good. :)
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:iconadolfwolfed4life:
AdolfWolfed4Life Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Have you seen any model sheets of the Wolf? They might help you draw him better.
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:iconannehill:
annehill Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013
No, I haven't seen that. I'll look it up on Google.. Thanks :D
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(1 Reply)
:iconblack---swan:
Black---Swan Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fav! :hug:
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:iconannehill:
annehill Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013
Thank You
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:iconqphacs:
Qphacs Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav: on qphacs.deviantart.com/art/2008…
Glad you liked it.
:thanks:
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